Category: Movies

Captain America: Courting Jihadi Film Clubs and Euro-Wonder Weenies?

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Dear Marvel: American Exceptionalism is real. Courting Jihadi movie goers, Euro-weenies, and moral relativists to make a few extra bucks is the wrong answer.

Regular readers know that I’ve been exposing Captain Liberal America and the hypocrisy of liberal writers at Marvel whenever I get a chance. That’s why it comes as no surprise that the guy at the helm of the new Captain America movie is setting the moral relativist tone early:

“He wants to serve his country, but he’s not this sort of jingoistic American flag-waver,” Johnston said. “He’s just a good person. We make a point of that in the script: Don’t change who you are once you go from Steve Rogers to this super-soldier, you have to stay who you are inside, that’s really what’s important more than your strength and everything. It’ll be interesting and fun to put a different spin on the character and one that the fans are really going to appreciate.”

Congratulations, Joe Johnson, you’re making Captain America without the American Exceptionalism. You’re giving the fans a “spin” they’ll “appreciate”? Well, I’m a fan and I don’t appreciate Captain America hollowed out and watered down into a United Nations Smurf Blue version of his former self so you can make a few extra bucks overseas.  We already have DC turning Wonder Woman into World Community Consensus Woman in order to make an extra dollar when her movie finally gets the green light—we don’t need Marvel courting American Jihad sympathizers, terrorist wannabes, and the South Park meltdown extremists in the Middle East.

And, while I’ve said it before I have to ask again: When will the Black Ops Cap pulled off in Afghanistan be told in a Marvel comic?  When do we get to see Taliban heads cracked?  Wouldn’t it be nice to see Captain America’s shield decapitate terrorist scum just before they were going to chop off an “infidel’s” head (as a propaganda video was streaming online, to boot)?  How great would it be if, just as the dull knife drew blood of an innocent Western woman and the hoots and hollers of “Allah Akbar” rang out if a red, white, and blue adamantium disc did what it was meant to do—preserve freedom while protecting the innocent and punishing monsters.

But that will never happen.  I love you Marvel, but you’ve fallen on hard times. I always thought Captain America’s greatest enemy was the Red Skull. Who knew he’d be toppled by moral relativism?

Cap spent too much time concentrating on the Red Skull and got blind-sided by moral relativism.

Chinese Internet Cops, Iron Man, America, and Human Potential

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China's full potential will never be realized until it trusts its own people.

Perhaps one of the reasons 10 Russian spies were apprehended (and quickly released) by the U.S. government is because the Chinese government is too busy spying on its own people to send agents here. Okay, maybe not—we all know that Chinese agents are here in droves… However, it’s interesting to remind everyone that Commies are always just as terrified (if not more) of their own people than foreign powers. It’s really hard to “plan” economies if you can’t control the behavior of human beings, each with their own individual wants, needs, concerns, and desires. China hasn’t gotten the memo:

BEIJING — A Chinese government-backed think tank has accused the U.S. and other Western governments of using social-networking sites such as Facebook to spur political unrest and called for stepped-up scrutiny of the wildly popular sites…

“We must pay attention to the potential risks and threats to state security as the popularity of social-networking sites continues to grow…We must immediately step up supervision of social-networking sites.”

One of the reasons why our little experiment in self governance is the best thing to ever happen to the world, was covered at the start of the summer movie season:

“The Christian elements of our nation’s founding guarantee that the innate creativity of man is encouraged to blossom. God gave each of us gifts, and wants us to take full advantage of them. Capitalism, Science, and The Rule of Law fused in America to produce a system that churns out ideas and innovation and entrepreneurs at an astounding rate—when the government gets out of the way.”

As long as China views its own people and the free flow of information as a “security” concern, their full potential will never be realized.  I suppose their ruling elite’s attempts to create a nation of semi-automous drones has worked well enough to grow its economy, but it’s still sad.  And, like I said, their full potential is so much more; anyone who understands freedom and liberty knows that.  Sure, there will always be free people who will squander their talents spending obscene amounts of time trying to “know” narcissists like Lebron James, but many more will take advantage of a chance to tap the entrepreneurial skills inside them if given the opportunity.

The United States sees itself in characters like entrepreneur Tony Stark. China opts for something akin to the cyborg Specreman (a Japanese creation, no less!).

“A mystery with the name Specreman…He’ll save the human race, yet they’ll never know the face of Specreman! We will never know the source of his power and his force as he guides this planets course!”

I’ll take the individual creative genius who loves his country (while maintaining his own distinct personality) over a no name force acting on the behalf of the collective any day of the week. If you’re an American and you’re finished reading this, go out there and Kick Ass. If you’re from China: think about why this page will probably be blocked tomorrow…and then do something about it.

The United States has characters like Iron Man because we love entrepreneurs and innovators. China is more in line with nameless cyborg Japanese creations like Spectreman. Have a little more respect for yourself and a little less censorship, guys...

Step Up 3D Fail: Ahmadinejad Laughs at updated Kevin Bacon Hip Snaps.

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Kevin Bacon uses dance as a weapon against his arch nemesis: Middle America. If you're asking if he gave Cold War era Soviets killer hip snaps...the answer is no.

Every generation has its silly dance movies, whether it’s Flashdance, Footloose, Dirty Dancing, Save the Last Dance, etc.  However, what’s even more depressing than seeing Kevin Bacon use dance as a weapon against those oppressive redneck hicks in Middle America (or Kevin Bacon in cinematic child molester case studies Roger Ebert can’t stop thinking about)…is the liberalism that usually undergirds most of them.  Why was it Kevin could give angry hip thrusts and fist pumps to Middle America, but not to Soviet expansionism in South America or Eastern Europe? I think you know the answer…

The trailer for Step Up is a perfect example of the kind of intellectual liberal pixy stix the entertainment industry feeds us on a daily basis. It’s all sugary good idealism with little to no nutritional value:

“Dance can change things. One move can bring people together. One move can make you believe like you’re something more. One move can set a whole generation free!”

Somehow, I don’t have much confidence that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is going to watch the gyrations of American FLO Rida fans put on and say, “Dude, this whole nuke obsession and Holocaust denial? I was totally wrong. Instead of calling for the death of all Jews, gays, Americans, Western Civilization, infidels, and most of the women on earth…from now on I’ll just bowl them over with killer dance move lock and pops!”

Sadly, though, we’ve grown into a nation of self-esteem junkies who need

The new "Step Up" features FLO Rida's insane beats while Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threatens to destroy Israel---in 3D!

to be told we’re special from the cradle to the grave.  The same people who think they’re “something more” because of a single dance move were the same kids who got first place ribbons in elementary school field day events despite placing dead last in the 50 yard dash (because we’re all winners).  They’re also the same kids who thought Barack Obama was going to be able to woo the world’s worst dictators into civilized behavior with sweet nothings and “Atta boys!” in their ears. Newsflash: it doesn’t work.  When you try and to do the impossible you end up like Derek Zoolander in the famous “Walk Off” scene (i.e., self-imposed wedgies).

If your middle school kid asks you to see Step Up 3D…drive to your nearest theater to check out The Expendables this summer, where the only twisting and turning guys do will be when they’re breaking off a knife in some dictator or his thug-lackey’s gut.

Dancing with Irrational Holocaust denying thug regimes is a good way to give you a national wedgie that bleeds American.

Ellen Page and Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Insipid Inception PR Clowns.

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Have you seen the promotional campaign for Christopher Nolan’s new movie,

I only chuckle along to Ellen's inane diatribes because to do otherwise would expose me as the guy who makes a killing reading other people's thoughts without ever having an original one of my own.

Inception? The strategy is fittingly outside the box: Joseph Gordon-Levit shuffles and laughs along as Ellen Page shows the world what a self-righteous joke she is—when she should be promoting the movie.  Maybe it’s awkward for Joseph because the liberal costar sitting next to him revels in everything he claims is “distasteful” :

“I guess I was paranoid that people would treat me differently, or in an unfair way, because of my job. Even back then, I really didn’t like the whole idolatry that goes on with actors and found the celebrity thing distasteful. I still do.”

Hey Joseph, what do you think of Ellen Page maximizing her own piece of the idolatry pie by waxing political during an interview for Inception? Do you think Ellen comments in an “unfair way” when she links Dick Cheney to “fear that seems to be creating a lot of ignorance and thus passing on that fear to a lot of people and causing a lot of problems,”? (Apparently no one passed on the gift of eloquence to Ellen…) The last time I checked, Dick Cheney’s tenure as Vice President saw jihadi nutbags turn cross-continental airplanes loaded with jet fuel into giant missiles in downtown Manhattan (not too far away from where Joseph went to college, if I’m not mistaken). And the last time I checked, jihadi clowns were still trying to create a market for body-bag makers in downtown New York City—after the Hopeandchange Express rode into town. Ellen? She just sings woefully out of tune with Jason Cera and somehow thinks it gives her the intellectual license to lecture the rest of us in monotone liberal platitudes.

The funny thing about most celebrities is that without their memorized scripts, all their “deep” thoughts end up sounding like vague, meaningless drivel you might see on cardboard signs during local news coverage of a high school “walk out,” (or a Joseph Gordon-Levit movie).

Joseph may have been a star on the show 3rd Rock from the Sun, but grunting and huffing in agreement with a liberal actor who’s as smart as a box of rocks isn’t going to win him over new fans.  I’m going to see Inception because Christopher Nolan directed it, but I’ll think twice about contributing to the word of mouth because Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page want to act like partisan tools when they’re supposed to be selling me on the movie. Smooth move, geniuses.

I've adopted the smug monotone delivery when I'm preaching liberalism from the promo-circuit because some people forget that I'm a Canadian actor with zero public policy pronouncement credentials when I do so.

Kevin Smith’s Red State Moves Forward. Career Continues Downward Spiral.

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It turns out that Kevin Smith, director and threat to national security, is moving forward with the long talked about project Red State:

Plot via IMDB: A horror film in which a group of misfits encounter fundamentalism gone to the extreme in Middle America.

Or, as Smith notes of his pet project to paint half the American electorate as Westboro Baptist Church fan club members:

“It’s so f***ing vicious and nasty and mean and stark, and it’s not funny … It’s this weird f***ing dark little Seventies horror movie…that nobody wants to make.”

Note to Kevin: Maybe the reason “nobody want[ed] to make” your film was because conservatives like horror movies just as much as the next guy, and it’s tough to promote a product that says to half the nation: “Watch my movie; it’s one big metaphor showcasing my belief that you’re a monster!”

Or, perhaps, no one was really psyched about making Kevin’s movie

Kevin Smith: Watch my movie because it portrays you as a monster. Is that blood splatter representative of my upcoming movie, or my hemorrhaging career?

because…he’s simply not a very good director.  Fact: Kevin Smith is a witty guy who’s quick on his feet, an astute observer of the pop culture landscape, and a capable writer who can turn out gems from time to time—provided he doesn’t stray too far outside his comfort zone. If you remember Cop Out (I think it lasted a few weeks in the theaters and couldn’t even break 50 million domestically, right?), his name was nowhere near the promotional material. When you factor in Kevin’s loyal following is usually worth at least $15 million, and Bruce Willis’ awesomeness should generate another $25 million (minimum), the honest analyst will tell you Cop Out was a stink bomb (bonus points if you got the Mallrats reference).

If Kevin wants to use his talent to cast aspersions on conservatism and the states that are friendly to it, fine. But I find it a little ironic that the liberal guy who actually has what many would call a cult following is now doing a film about extremist cults in the heart of Middle America. Go on any website overrun with Kevin Smith’s fans, offer up some constructive criticism, and watch their heads spin. Even Kevin has shown that he’s so uber sensitive to online critics that he’s willing to write his frustrations into his flicks in the form of teenager and clergy beat-downs… Again, I wouldn’t mind, but this is the same guy who hosts regular pod casts, spouting off his non-expert opinions and ruminations to anyone who will listen.

Note: Liberals are just as prone to the “do as I say, not as I do,” hypocrisy as anyone else. They just don’t want you to know it, because then their racist, redneck, homophobic red herring house of cards will come crumbling down.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go watch Bruce Willis do his thing in a Gorillaz video.

Update: The teaser trailer for Red State is out. For some reason there doesn’t seem to be anyone who practices Sharia Law in it. Perhaps that’s because it would have required courage on Smith’s part…

Kim Jong Il Crazy for Robert Rodriguez: Fandango for Dictators on Fire.

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One of the reasons why the United States Kicks Ass is because it’s habitually in the position of having to control its border to stop millions of people who want to enter the country, while

Kim Jong Il is probably a huge fan of Matt Damon's national self flagellation flicks for self loathing liberal Americans.

countries like North Korea have troops at the border to stop people from leaving.  The United States has actors and directors who go around the world bashing the freest country in the world, while North Korea hires actors to put a happy face on a regime that runs gulags like a successful fast food chain restaurant.

That’s why I find it interesting that Robert Rodriguez and his liberal Hollywood friends spend more time stoking cultural fires within their own country instead of pointing to the dysfunctional dictators who really pose a threat to the freedom, liberty, and civilized societies throughout the world.

Likewise, it’s very telling that satirists and comedians around the world feel perfectly at ease mocking Christians when they’re desperate for an easy laugh, and yet they now openly acknowledge that “speaking truth to power” doesn’t include mocking Islamic terrorists because…that might actually require some inner fortitude. Today’s liberal “thinkers” (or wannabe “thinkers”) talk tough to talk show hosts…but clam up when it comes to the guy who wants to chop your head off, brunoise the First Amendment, and serve it to his jihad buddies for dinner.

While I’ve already let it be known how I feel about Robert Rodriguez, I still can’t let the issue go. I want so badly to believe that I’m not living in The Twilight Zone, but every day I’m reminded how Hollywood shuns real life American stories of Audie Murphy-type heroism in favor of filmic self flagellation on a national scale.

Am I suggesting we pay filmmakers to make American versions of creepy North Korean propaganda pieces? Of course not. But, personally, I think America is a pretty cool place with quite a bit to be proud of. And I just wish that the Matt Damon-standing-up-against-corrupt-U.S.-government cinematic skid marks were exposed for the self-righteous Ashtonian idiocy they are.

When someone with Robert Rodriguez’s skills finally decides to highlight how great this nation is within the confines of an awesome action flick…they’re going to make a lot of money.

I wonder if Machete will ever work his way into North Korean gulags to kill the Commie caretakers of the closest thing to hell on earth. Oh...wait...Robert Rodriguez is too busy stoking cultural fires in the freest country the world has ever known. You rock, Robert!

Stallone, Barack Obama, Marvel Comics and the Very Real Secret War.

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Stallone rocks. Why? Because unlike most of Hollywood, he knows the world has some pretty scary characters in it.

Do I write a post about Stallone’s new flick The Expendables, or do I cover the Obama administration’s Secret War tactics in the War on Terror? How about…both!

In the new trailer The Expendables, Stallone’s voiceover begins:

“We are the shadows…and the smoke in your eyes. We are the ghosts…that hide in the night.”

What does this mean? It means that the world is a dangerous place, and sometimes we need people to go in an clean up messes the civilized world would like to pretend don’t exist. Think the BP oil spill is a threat to humanity? Okay. But oily terrorists operating in lawless regions around the world can also cause messy explosions, gushers (of blood) on city streets, and black-charred coatings where beautiful things used to stand…

Sometimes, someone like George Bush comes around and is willing to openly talk

about the world’s scum buckets and dirt bags who’d like nothing better than to make Americans take dirt naps in densely populated urban areas. And people get angry, because if you acknowledge how susceptible free societies are to jihad nuts with a desire to return to the dark ages…it means you have a lot of tough decisions to make.

Even liberal writers like Brian Michael Bendis seem to know (really, really, deep down) that we live in a world where a Secret War or two or three or more…is being waged between competing visions for humanity’s future. The only problem is, when guys like George W. Bush are in office, liberal comic book writers come up with weird Bush-Gitmo allegories that inadvertently make the case for conservatism!

Can someone tell me when Brian Michael Bendis is going to lampoon Barack Obama in the comics for the very real “Secret War” that he’s apparently taken to another level? Don’t hold your breath:

Beneath its commitment to soft-spoken diplomacy and beyond the combat zones of Afghanistan and Iraq, the Obama administration has significantly expanded a largely secret U.S. war against al-Qaeda and other radical groups, according to senior military and administration officials..Obama, one senior military official said, has allowed “things that the previous administration did not.”

How many young voters pulled the lever for Barack Obama under the liberal auspices that we can live in harmony with jihadi head choppers if we just try really hard to “understand” and “reach” them? (My favorite is Richard Gere’s infamous post-9/11 suggestion that guys like Osama Bin Laden just need to be loved.)

It’s all a lie. The world is a dangerous place. Evil exists, despite what the Neal Gabler moral relativist Mole Men tell you. And it’s better to be honest and frank about that, because otherwise you create bizarre realities where “peace activists” (who try to slice through your liver with gigantor-knives when their cargo is about to be inspected) can play the victim-card. You also have scenarios play out where young people say, “Umm…what happened to all that hopeandchange?” (Yes, that’s one word):

The Obama administration has rejected the constitutional executive authority claimed by Bush and has based its lethal operations on the authority Congress gave the president in 2001 to use “all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons” he determines “planned, authorized, committed, or aided” the Sept. 11 attacks.

Many of those currently being targeted, Bellinger said, “particularly in places outside Afghanistan,” had nothing to do with the 2001 attacks.

Weren’t there a lot of Democrats that voted for that? Hmmm. Nevermind.

The hopeandchange never materialized because it was never there. I bet the kiddies are feeling pretty numb, right now. It’s okay Thunder Kiss, conservatism will welcome you with open arms when the reality hits that it’s a strange, strange world (incompatible with “planned” economies and Youtube Diplomacy).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Stallone trailer to watch.

Hey Bendis, do you mind telling me when you’re going to roast Barack Obama for his Secret War? Want to weigh in, Marvel? Didn’t think so. Hypocrites. Deep down, all of these guys are furious that George W. Bush is going to be largely vindicated.

Iron Man is America.

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While it might seem odd to comment on a movie before it comes out, I can’t contain myself with Iron Man 2. John Nolte has forced my hand:

Though the highly anticipated “Iron Man 2” qualifies as a hilarious, entertaining, irreverent, and openly patriotic summer blockbuster well worth the price of admission (and then some), like most sequels, the continuing story of Tony Stark and company does falls short of its predecessor…

Hilarious: Check. Entertaining: Check. Patriotic: Check.

That’s all I needed, John. Thanks. And now I’d like to take a moment to

Iron Man is America. Liberals refuse to accept how cool that is. Their loss.

describe why Iron Man is such a great character (despite the best efforts of liberal writers to ruin him with sad attempts at Bush/Cheney warmonger allegories)

The same thing that makes Iron Man great is the same thing that makes America the most Kick Ass country the world has ever seen. The Christian elements of our nation’s founding guarantee that the innate creativity of man is encouraged to blossom. God gave each of us gifts, and wants us to take full advantage of them.  Capitalism, Science, and The Rule of Law fused in America to produce a system that churns out ideas and innovation and entrepreneurs at an astounding rate—when the government gets out of the way.  The spirit of  America is embodied in the character of Tony Stark: He’s big. He’s bold. He shoots for the stars, and he’s unapologetic about his accomplishments.

However, like America, Tony Stark has his flaws. His same strengths can, at times, cause him to lose sight of himself.  Success can be a double-edged sword (or, ummm…malfunctioning repulsor ray?), but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s still inherently a hero. And that’s exactly where so many movies written by liberal Hollywood self-loathers get it wrong. They’re so concerned about offending France’s cheese eating elitist lecture circuit and the sensitivities of cultures that won’t even play Western movies, that their heroes come across as weak-kneed nincompoops. When you stand for everything you stand for nothing. And that makes for a horrible superhero movie.

Stan Lee, a living legend most non-comic fans have heard of, once said something to the effect: I wanted to take a character that was almost impossible to like and make him popular.

To a liberal like Lee (creative genius he may be) the idea that an entrepreneur like Tony Stark would be a hard sell is, quite frankly, politically tone deaf.  As much as liberals like to bash successful businessmen, the American people want to be them. As I said before, most people know that they have God-given talents and seek ways to cultivate them for the benefit of themselves and their family. Work is a virtue. Work is a gift. Giving to other people through our creative efforts is a satisfying and just endeavor, and profiting off of those efforts is equally as righteous. And that is something that liberals, for whatever reason, just don’t seem to understand.

This week I will see Iron Man 2. And I will most-likely enjoy it. And even if I don’t, I can take heart that a character who personifies American ingenuity gets to step into the limelight yet again.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go listen to that out.freakin’.standing. crooner Robert Downy Jr. And then watch…Lego Star Wars awesomeness. I suggest you take part too. You’ll thank me later.

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure: Starring The Federal Government

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Do you remember Tim Burton’s directorial debut, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? If you do, I’m sure you remember Francis Buxton. And if you do you’ll know exactly where I’m coming from when I say the federal government is Francis Buxton.

 

Francis Buxton. Perhaps you know him by his other name: The Federal Government.

 

Francis Buxton was a big, fat, immature bully who used someone else’s money to buy things he couldn’t afford. And when he couldn’t buy what he wanted…he stole it. The federal government isn’t any different, using your hard-earned cash to buy all sorts of things it can’t afford (although I will admit that it tends to favor cars instead of bikes). And when it knows that you can’t be bought off? It does what it wants anyway.

Luckily, when the theft is egregious enough, there’s usually someone who storms the castle, crashes the pool, grabs the behemoth around the gut, and confronts the jerk. And that is exactly what the American people need to do right now, although, as the movie demonstrates, sometimes that isn’t enough to work. Perhaps Francis’ daddy (e.g., labor unions and other liberal lobbyists) shows up in the knick of time to prevent the fraud from being exposed. Perhaps any number of strange events occur that prevent justice from being done.

What then? Well, going intellectually old-school John Woo is necessary, but so is methodically laying out the evidence for the people (even if “Amazing Larry” doesn’t believe you).

If those things are done, and done well, conservatives will be okay. And when the public policy breakthrough finally comes we can ride off into the sunset like Satan’s Little Helpers on their choppers…until the next obstacle throws us over the handlebars.

The Federal Government: Your Personal Stay Puft Marshmellow Man. Stick with The Private Sector.

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Recently I was watching Bill O’Reilly discuss insurance companies, and how they “profit off the sick” with John Stossel. Normally I only like watching The No

Which is more dangerous: A government like Stay Puft...or Geraldo Rivera?

Spin Zone when Neil Cavuto gives him an economic beat down, but I think I can grow fond of Stossel picking up the old Irish guy and giving him an intellectual suplex. However, it mildly frustrated me when John had an opportunity to deal Bill a devastating blow, but opted to pull back instead. The idea that anyone who “profits off the sick” should somehow provide their service for free (or a severely-reduced charge) is silly, emotional, and endemic of the kind of appeals liberals make for their Federal Government Stay Puft Marshmellow Man Dreams. If Bill wasn’t 90 feet tall I’d slap him across the head and tell him to read a book or two by Thomas Sowell.

Here’s an example. Years ago I worked as a substitute teacher in a high school just outside Chicago. Before I became permanently assigned to one school, my workload for the week fluctuated with how many teachers were sick, on vacation, or taking a personal day. However, the bulk of the time I was making money off the stuffy noses, sore throats, and hospital stays of full-time educators! Every week I was pulling in enough money to pay my bills, support a few hobbies, and still save money for a rainy day. But, according to Bill’s logic (who admits the insurance industry’s profit margins are rather tame compared to others), I should somehow feel dirty for providing a much-needed service to those who required it.

Are insurance companies perfect? No. I’m sure there are areas of reform both conservatives and liberals can agree on. However, my problem with Bill is that he’s made the decision to pander to “the folks” the kind of pap John “Two Americas:“The One Where I’m Faithful and the One Where I’m Not” Edwards did on the campaign trail. Why? Because he still maintains he’s “Independent.” Okay, Bill… Give me a break.

If you’re “independent,” then Geraldo Rivera didn’t just get side-swiped by a giant wave. Or give away our troops’ position. Take your pick.

Continue reading “The Federal Government: Your Personal Stay Puft Marshmellow Man. Stick with The Private Sector.”