Is it more likely that Harry Reid was beaten up, or that Mitt Romney didn’t pay his taxes?

ReidLet’s play a little game, shall we? It’s called “Is it more likely that Harry Reid was beaten up, or that Mitt Romney didn’t pay his taxes?”. The reason behind this game is simple: the retiring senator, who laughed off his 2012 presidential election lie about Mitt Romney, is now upset that radio host Rush Limbaugh said what others were already thinking: it looks like someone beat Harry Reid up.

Here is what Mr. Reid told CNN’s Dana Brash on March 31 when asked if he regretted his lie about Mitt Romney not paying taxes: “Romney didn’t win, did he?”

Telling, isn’t it? The ends justify the means to Mr. Reid, no matter how low he has to sink.

Now, here is the Nevada senator complaining to CNBC’s John Harwood about Mr. Limbaugh’s commentary on his battered and bruised body: “It shows the credibility of Rush Limbaugh. He’s the guy that got all this started. Why in the world would I come up with a story that I got hurt in my own bathroom with my wife standing there? How could anyone say anything like that? I think a lot of people, as I read, they kinda don’t like me as a person. That’s unfortunate.”

Why would anyone not like Harry Reid — besides the fact that he made up a giant irresponsible lie about Mitt Romney during a presidential election?

Harry Reid looks like artificial intelligence out of “Avengers: Age of Ultron” took over his workout equipment and then beat the living daylights out of him. That is what Rush Limbaugh correctly pointed out when he said “I don’t believe for a minute that whatever happened to Harry Reid has anything to do with an exercise machine unless somebody repeatedly threw him into it.”

I worked in a gym for three years. I can not think of one exercise that Harry Reid would do (or has the capability of performing) that would leave him looking like an angry bouncer unloaded on him. The official story is that an elastic waistband snapped and sent him sprawling inside his own bathroom.

I ask again: Is it more likely that Harry Reid was beaten up or that Mitt Romney didn’t pay his taxes?

There is one word to describe the rumors that are swirling about Mr. Reid’s battered and bruised body: karma. If a man makes up disgusting lies to smear political opponents, then he has zero moral authority to complain when the karma boomerang comes back and hits him in the face again…and again…and again.

Patriots push back feds at Bundy Ranch: America wins as agents, snipers ‘protecting’ turtles retreat

Ranchers Bundy

We live in interesting times: the federal government must be dragged tooth and nail to do what is necessary to protect that nation’s sovereignty along the southern border, but it will deploy attack dogs and snipers against Nevada ranchers who have worked the same land for over 100 years.

If you didn’t follow the Cliven Bundy story over the past week, here it is in a nutshell: Mr. Bundy’s family has raised cattle on the same land for over a century. How long? They’ve been there since before the Bureau of Land Management was even created. Somewhere along the line, the federal government came in and told Mr. Bundy’s family they needed to “manage” his land. Mr. Bundy has argued that they federal government has been trying to “manage” him out of business. And so, he’s refused to pay the federal government to ruin his livelihood. The BLM asserts that his family has over $1 million in unpaid management fees to the federal government.

Last week, in an effort to “protect” a species of desert tortoise, agents moved in and confiscated the herd. Ranchers from all over the region got word of what was going on, and joined with him in his stand against the federal government. A pregnant woman was knocked to the ground and a stun gun was used on Mr. Bundy’s son, but the standoff ended with the federal government retreating and all of Mr. Bundy’s cattle returned — for now.

The Las Vegas Journal review reported:

BUNKERVILLE — More than 100 head of Cliven Bundy’s confiscated cattle were released from a corral outside of Mesquite after a 20-minute standoff between angry and armed ranchers and law enforcement officers Saturday.

With rifles pointing toward each side and tensions reaching a critical level, federal land officials backed off and agreed to give up the cattle to Bundy’s family and supporters. …

Locals who make a living on the range and own horses showed up on horseback.

Nearly all of them defended Bundy’s actions and spoke about how tired they were of the federal government micromanaging Americans, including passing too many regulations, not just in Nevada but across the country; not just in cattle ranching, but in all facets of life, from Obamacare to the Environmental Protection Agency.

Brent Mackelprang, 58, a cattle rancher from Arizona, said the government’s decision to seize Bundy’s cattle in the name of protecting “the supposedly endangered” desert tortoise was a mere excuse “to go in and grab land from the people,” including Bundy, who has long claimed that the land belongs to his family and the state of Nevada — “certainly not to the federal government.”

Since Sen. Harry Reid has been M.I.A. during this whole debate, I’ll turn to a quote from Frederick Douglass to explain what went on in Nevada:

“Find out just what the people will submit to and you will have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue until they are resisted with either words or blows, or both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose.” — Frederick Douglass

The people finally — thank God — stood up to the power-mad federal government, and they got results.

 

Krissy Thornton, right, looks at blood from a taser wound on Ammon Bundy near Bunkerville, Nev. Wednesday, April 9, 2014. Bundy was tasered by Bureau of Land Management law enforcement officers while protesting the roundup of what the BLM calls "trespass cattle" that rancher Cliven Bundy grazes in the Gold Butte area 80 miles northeast of Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Las Vegas Review-Journal, John Locher)
Krissy Thornton, right, looks at blood from a taser wound on Ammon Bundy near Bunkerville, Nev. Wednesday, April 9, 2014. Bundy was tasered by Bureau of Land Management law enforcement officers while protesting the roundup of what the BLM calls “trespass cattle” that rancher Cliven Bundy grazes in the Gold Butte area 80 miles northeast of Las Vegas. (AP Photo/Las Vegas Review-Journal, John Locher)

And why is it that Sen. Reid has been so quiet?

The Washington Times reported:

The Bureau of Land Management is headed by former longtime Reid aide Neil Kornze, who was confirmed by the Senate as BLM director on Tuesday, just as federal authorities descended on the cattle ranch outside Mesquite, Nev.

Mr. Kornze issued a statement Saturday saying that the bureau would return the cattle and withdraw its agents from the ranch as a result of safety concerns after clashes between law enforcement and the Bundy family’s growing legion of supporters.

“It was likely pressure from upstairs, rather than weapons from the field, that changed his mind on the matter,” the liberal group Americans Against the Tea Party said in an online post. “Fact is, Harry Reid probably didn’t want his name attached to the biggest civilian massacre in U.S. history right before election season.”

Behind the scenes, you know that men like Sen. Reid are furious. It wasn’t supposed to play out the way it did. Mr. Bundy was supposed to fold. He was supposed to just accept the slow and steady infringements on our rights to life, liberty and property like so many other Americans — but he didn’t. That act of defiance stirred something inside the stomachs of locals and patriots from other states that they knew to be just and right, and so they came to his aid.

Bundy Ranch

Hopefully, what happened at the Bundy Ranch will inspire more Americans to push back against the injustices imposed upon them by an out-of-control federal government.

Related: If you want to read stories about the federal government’s overreach, check out Cheryl K. Chumley’s ‘Police State U.S.A.’ I’ll be reviewing the book when it comes out in May.

Harry Reid acts as if the Internet doesn’t exist: ‘All’ Obamacare horror stories are untrue

Harry Reid Obamcare horror stories

Harry Reid is the guy who infamously said the “war is lost” in Iraq while troops overseas were trying to turn things around during the surge. Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates said of the traitorous display: “When you have somebody like the Senate Majority Leader come out in the middle of the surge and say ‘this war is lost’—I thought that was one of the most disgraceful things I’ve heard a politician say.” Gates is right. Given that, nothing the Democratic senator says should surprise Americans at this point. However, he took to the floor of the Senate on Wednesday and delivered one of the most ridiculous lines of all time regarding Obamacare, and he did it with a straight face.

There are plenty of horror stories being told — all of them untrue — but they’re being told all over America. [Koch brothers…Koch brothers…] stories made up from whole cloth, lies distorted by Republicans to grab headlines or make political advertisements.” — Harry Reid, D-Nev.

It is hard to hold it against informed Americans when they walk away entirely from the political process these days. It is tempting to conclude on some days that this is all part of a Machiavellian scheme to rid the political landscape of intelligent people. Perhaps in Harry Reid’s mind he thinks that if he behaves so incomprehensibly stupid that no sane person of above-average intelligence would want to have anything to do with him, then it will allow him to be king of the idiots.

As I’ve said on this very blog, I’m at the point where I only have interest in writing about men link Abraham Lincoln and entertainment news because chronicling the buffoonery of men like Harry Reid is depressing.

Allahpundit over at Hotair summed it up nicely:

Guy Benson is virtually shaking with rage and disbelief that this tool could say this with a straight face, knowing that there are scores of reporters watching who’ve encountered genuine horror stories and could debunk him. (Start with Pulitzer winner Charles Ornstein of Pro Publica and work your way down.) But that’s another sign of a trend developing among top Democrats: The more time wears on, the more brazen and Orwellian the lies get. Why else would Sebelius have said, on camera, that the administration never chose seven million as a target for O-Care enrollment when she must have known that she herself had used that figure — also on camera? Are they just exhausted from defending the law at this point and willing to resort to nonsense no matter how easily exposed it is?

The information is out there, but does anyone care? Are we doomed to just elect politicians who make the least amount of meme-worthy “Big Bird and Binder” comments? Was it all part of Harry Reid’s master plan to act like such an idiot for such a long period of time that people care more about Marco Rubio sipping water than millions of people whose insurance plan was liquidated as the Affordable Care Act was implemented? I hope not, because when you elect the guy who laughed off the notion that Russia posed serious national security challenges to America in 2012 and beyond you then end up with a president who doesn’t understand what’s going on in Syria and the Ukraine in 2014.

Related: ‘Hope and Change’ sticker shock hits America: ‘I was all for Obamacare until I found out I was paying for it’

Related: AP: Here’s the truth on Obamacare — now that the wave is set in motion

Related: Obamacare website like ‘Sloth’ death from Brad Pitt’s ‘Seven’ — and no one gets fired

Related: Cancer patient finds out what Obama meant when he vowed to ‘fundamentally transform’ America

Related: Michael Moore: Obamacare is ‘awful’ — but more of it will be awesome

Ben Franklin’s thoughts on the rattlesnake as a symbol of America: ‘Don’t tread on me’

Gadsen Flag

Once upon a time, Americans listened to men like Benjamin Franklin. Today, they get unhealthy doses of Sen. Harry Reid. Given that, I thought I’d share a few excerpts from ‘The Completed Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin,’ which was compiled and edited by Mark Skousen, Ph.D.

I like Archer just as much as the next guy, but Archer is not Ben Franklin. If I had one piece of advice to give to young people it would to turn off the television for a year or two and read the works of the men who helped shape America’s identity at its inception. Learn from the wisdom preserved for us by the best and brightest minds ever turned out by Western Civilization. Once you do that, you will realize who it is within the political class and the entertainment community that wants you to wander through life like a zombie. You will be able to discern who is telling you what you want to hear and who is telling you what you need to hear. You will be able to tell the difference between the man who is snake oil salesman from the man who is like the rattlesnake.

The rattlesnake as a symbol of America: ‘Don’t tread on me’

“I observed on one of the drums belonging to the Marines being raised that there was painted a rattlesnake, with this modest motto under it, “Don’t tread on me.” It occurred to me that the rattlesnake, being found in no other quarter of the world besides America, might therefore be chose to represent her. Having frequently seen the rattlesnake, I ran over in my mind every property by which she was distinguished.

I recollect that her eye excelled in brightness, that of any other animal, and that she has no eye-lids. She may therefore be esteemed an emblem of vigilance. She never begins an attack, not, when once engaged, ever surrenders; she is therefore an emblem of magnanimity and true courage.

As if anxious to prevent all pretensions of quarreling with her, the weapons with which nature has furnished her she conceals in the roof of her mouth, so that, to those who are unacquainted with her, she appears to be a most defenseless animal, and even when those weapons are shown and extended for their defense, they appear weak and contemptible; but their wounds however small, are decisive and fatal. Conscious of this, she never wounds till she has generously given notice, even to her enemy, and cautioned him against the danger of treading on her.

I confess I was wholly at a loss what to make of the rattles until I went back and counted them and found them just thirteen, exactly the number of the colonies united in America; and I recollected too that this was the only part of the snake that increased in numbers; perhaps it might be only fancy, but, I conceited the painter had shown a half formed additional rattle, which, I suppose, might have been intended to represent the province of Canada.

‘Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together, so as never to be separated but by breaking them to pieces. One of those rattles singly is incapable of producing sound, but the ringing of thirteen together is sufficient to alarm the boldest man living.

The rattlesnake is solitary and associated with her kind only when it is necessary for their preservation. In winter, the warmth of a number together will preserve their lives, while singly they would probably perish.

The power of fascination attributed to her, by a generous construction, may be understood to mean that those who consider the liberty and blessing which America affords, and once come over to her, never afterwards leave her, but spend their lives with her. She strongly resembles America in this, that she is beautiful in youth and her beauty increases with age, “her tongue also is blue and forked as the lightning, and her abode is among impenetrable rocks.”

I communicated my sentiments to a neighbor of mine, who had a surprising readiness at guessing everything which related to public affairs. He instantly declared it as his sentiments that the Congress meant to allude to Lord North’s declaration in the House of Commons that he never would relax his measure until he had brought America to his feet, and to intimate to his Lordship that were she brought to his feet, it would be dangerous treading on her.” — The Completed Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, compiled and edited by Mark Skousen, Ph.D. Pages 112-114.

Rebellion to Tyrants is obedience to God

“Only July 4 I had been appointed to a committee, along with Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, to design the great seal of the United States. I urged the following to be adopted: Moses standing on the shore, and extending his hand over the sea, thereby causing the same to overwhelm Pharaoh who is sitting in an open chariot, a crown on his head and a sword in his hand. Rays from a pillar of fire in the clouds reach to Moses to express that he acts by command of the Deity. Motto: Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.” — The Completed Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, compiled and edited by Mark Skousen, Ph.D. Page 124.

Take a few moments to really think about America’s founding and what it meant to have men like Franklin at the helm when the fate of the nation hung in the balance. And then, when you’re done…if you really must, go back to the cartoons.

Nailed on taxes, Harry Reid intellectually drools into live microphone

Want to see Harry Reid’s mind melt before your very eyes? Ask a question that simultaneously corners him into acknowledging the federal debt and his intellectual bankruptcy. You’ll be able to see the record in his mind skip on the needle a few times before he says “Next question.”

When Harry Reid isn’t worrying about the lack of sweatshops in the United States or surrendering to al Qaeda in Iraq, he usually keeps his gaffes minimized to micro-bursts of stupidity behind the podium. It may be rather depressing to read through the writings of statesmen like Thomas Jefferson and James Madison and then have to turn on the television and listen to Harry Reid … but alas, he is all we have.

Regardless, today a reporter actually had the nerve to hold his feet to the fiscal fire, asking why Democrats didn’t raise taxes on the “wealthy” when they controlled all three branches of government. Reid’s response: “Next question.”

TWS: Leader Reid, when it comes to the Bush tax cuts…why didn’t Senate Democrats push through this bill back when you controlled the Senate, the House, and the presidency?

REID: The tax cuts weren’t about to expire then. So that’s why we’re doing it now.

TWS: You could have foreseen this issue two years ago.

REPORTER: What are you talking about? They expired at the end of 2010.

REID: And that’s why they were extended one year.

TWS: Why didn’t they vote when you could have pushed this bill through and had it signed into law?

REID: (pause) Next question.

Watch the video and note the pause from Reid as the wheels turn in his head. He knows he’s nailed, but the synapses in his brain are firing so fast he can’t think of something to say (mainly because talking points weren’t given out for that question).

One theory as to why Reid personally wasn’t interested in raising taxes back then was because he was too busy apologizing for referring to President Obama as “light skinned” with “no negro dialect.”

The top Democrat in the U.S. Senate apologized on Saturday for comments he made about Barack Obama’s race during the 2008 presidential bid.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada described then-Sen. Barack Obama as “light skinned” and “with no Negro dialect,”…

“I deeply regret using such a poor choice of words. I sincerely apologize for offending any and all Americans, especially African-Americans for my improper comments,” Reid said in a statement released after the excerpts were reported on the Web site of The Atlantic.

As I said before, IRS data proves that the “rich” pay more than their “fair” share of the tax burden in the United States. We have a spending problem — not a revenue problem — and liberals don’t want to talk about that because math isn’t as sexy as class warfare.

Federal spending per household

Federal spending is out of control, and our good friends at Heritage have done us a favor by collecting the data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the Office of Management and Budget, and the Congressional Budget Office before presenting it in a way that is easy to understand. How anyone can look at federal spending per household (adjusted for inflation) and not see that Harry Reid is a dishonest hack of the highest order is beyond me, but it’s up to conservatives to talk about these numbers in ways their friends, family and neighbors understand.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll watch Sen. Reid intellectually drool into the microphone five more times just because it gives me the giggles. And then perhaps I’ll cry, because Baby Boomers and jerks like him have stolen the wealth of future generations. It’s a shame too many young people haven’t realized the magnitude of what men like him have done.

Reid: I’ll burn my socks from Datang, China because I’m an idiot

Senator Reid wants you to know that while he is perfectly okay running up trillions in debt to Chinese banker-pimps, he will not stand for Ralph Lauren’s Chinese contractors.

If you wanted to see the kind of sad-sack losers walking the halls of Congress, look no further than Sens. Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer and the populist clowns calling for Olympic uniforms to be burned because they were created in China. These elected oxygen thieves are perfectly fine having turned the United States into a debtor nation to our Communist banker-pimps, but God forbid Ralph Lauren contracts out the labor to Chinese seamstresses.

Question for Harry Reid: Will you hold a press conference to publicly burn your socks and neckties, since most of them probably come from Datang, China?

Datang produces an astounding nine billion pairs of socks each year — more than one set for every person on the planet. People here fondly call it Socks City, and its annual socks festival attracts 100,000 buyers from around the world. …

[T]hese days, buyers from New York to Tokyo want to be able to buy 500,000 pairs of socks all at once, or 300,000 neckties, 100,000 children’s jackets, or 50,000 size 36B bras. And increasingly, the places that best accommodate those kinds of orders are China’s giant new specialty cities.

As the nation holds at 8% unemployment for over 30 straight months, the big concern of Harry Reid is the lack of sweat-shop type jobs available in the United States. Instead of trying to figure out a way to unlock the entrepreneurial spirit within the American people — so that we can churn out thousands of doctors instead of thousands of socks — our Senators our playing rhetorical games with the country that holds trillions of dollars in U.S. debt.

What would happen if all the Chinese, Korean and Japanese companies that have plants in the  United States pulled up their stakes because they were “outsourcing” jobs to the United States? What if all those Asian tourists and businesses that head to Las Vegas every year suddenly decided to put their money into local Chinese casinos and hotels? It would be fun to see Sen. Reid hem and haw and look like more of a stuttering buffoon than he already is.

Liberal politicians create business environments that push manufacturing overseas. They demonize entrepreneurs. They find creative new ways to stick it to producers through oppressive taxation and regulation, and then play a phony populist card when the blow back hits them in the face for all the world to see.

Remember when Senator Reid literally surrendered during the darkest days of the Iraq War? I do. Someone tell our Commie-banker overlords to push back on Reid and he’ll fold like a nice pair of cotton underwear made in China.

Democrats target Dos Equis’ Most Interesting Man in the World

Democrats in the U.S. Senate are preparing to bring "The Least Interesting Man in the World Act" before the floor for a vote, hoping to cut the Dos Equis spokesman from American airwaves. Citing his popularity as a detriment to young people and the health of the nation, the bill seeks to curb Dos Equis consumption in the United States while also impacting underage drinking.

It was only a matter of time, but liberal Democrats in the U.S. Congress have found a new target: the Dos Equis spokesman, better known as The Most Interesting Man in the World. Late Saturday night a press release came from the office of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-N.V., confirming that legislation has been drafted to restrict Dos Equis ads featuring the popular commercials from U.S. airwaves. Citing a 2009 Youtube video, in which actor Jonathan Goldsmith says he met a man whose son wanted to be “The Most Interesting Man in the World,” as the inspiration for the bill, it then goes on to say:

Dos Equis has created The Most Interesting Man in the World. In fact, he’s too interesting. Men love him. Women love him. Kids want to be him. There comes a point in any marketing campaign, just as their comes a point with any business, where success becomes a detriment to the greater good and must be stopped.

Republicans can not be trusted to stop The Most Interesting Man in the World, and so the burden must once again fall on sturdy shoulders of the Democratic Party. We took on Joe the Camel and the tobacco industry. Today, we’re fighting “Big Cereal” and their War on Children. Tony the Tiger’s days of causing childhood obesity are just about up, no thanks to the extremists in the GOP. And so, it is with a clear conscious that I announce the first salvo in the battle to take down Dos Equis’ Most Interesting Man in the World. Its name? The Least Interesting Man in the World Act.

If passed in the House and Senate and then signed into law, American citizens will no longer be brainwashed into drinking Dos Equis imported beers, particularly before the age of 21. Underage drinking of this particular product will come to an end, and the American people will have the Democratic Party to thank for it.

The announcement comes at a bad time for Dos Equis, which planned an ad campaign around a Chuck Norris team-up with The Most Interesting Man in the World. President Obama has vowed to sign the bill if it comes to his desk, despite the loss of political capital pundits are predicting. Asked about plans to address record-high gas prices and unemployment, the president had no comment.

Bottom line: If anyone can overcome the Democrat-sponsored legislation, it’s The Most Interesting Man in the World.

It’s Not Halftime in America, Clint. It’s time to pull the quitters from the game.

Clint Eastwood is now on record, denying there were political motives behind his “Halftime in America” Super Bowl ad for the U.S. auto industry. Regardless, the ad went viral, largely because the “two teams” metaphor is perfect for the upcoming election. Most commentators have largely focused on what the two teams have done domestically, but it’s the foreign policy parallels that are most striking. War is most certainly not a game, but sometimes the symbolism fits: when it was halftime in the Iraq War, Harry Reid literally forfeited the game.

It was just under five years ago that Senator Reid held a press conference to announce, “Now I believe, myself, that Secretary of State, the Secretary of defense – and you have to make your decision as to what the president knows – that this war is lost. And that the surge is not accomplishing anything as indicated by the extreme violence in Iraq yesterday. ” When the Bush Administration was trying to regroup and find a way to secure victory, Senator Reid and the major players in the Democratic Party were throwing in the towel. If Eli Manning took career advice from Senator Reid, the Giants would have packed it in after their second regular season loss to the Washington Redskins!

The Democrat Party’s quarterback, Nancy Pelosi, is no different. In 2005 Pelosi held her own press conference and declared, “The war in Afghanistan is over.” Oddly enough, the very same Democratic Party now frames President Obama’s handling of both wars in terms of a “win” for the administration! Perhaps Tom Coughlin should have interrupted Madonna’s halftime show to announce that the Giants were boarding the plane early and heading back to New York.

As voters go to the booths in a matter of months, they should remember Clint Eastwood’s Super Bowl commercial. If the Iranian nuclear crisis were to explode – literally – within the next four years (or within the next few months, as Defense Secretary Leon Panetta has predicted), do we really want a team on the field that tries to quit with every shift of momentum? It isn’t halftime in America, Mr. Eastwood. It’s just time to put the quitters on the bench.

Air Jordan bill drafted by Democrats. GOP labeled Racist for Anti-Shoe Legislation Stance.

In the wake of the Air Jordan riots, Democrats have vowed to hold companies like Nike accountable for assaults connected with shoe releases. Republicans have been labeled racist for their anti-shoe legislation rhetoric.

In the wake of the riots and violence that accompanied the release of retro Air Jordans just before Christmas, liberal Democrats on Capitol Hill have vowed to take action in 2012 to make sure it never happens again. As The Detroit Free Press reported, “The frenzy over Air Jordans has been dangerous in the past. Some people were mugged or even killed for early versions of the shoe, created by Nike Inc. in 1984.” Democrats are looking for victories leading into campaign season, and to them the Jordan fiasco is low hanging legislative fruit.

Democrat Senator Harry Reid was crystal clear:

Nike should be ashamed. Yet again, a corporation filled with the top 1% of wage earners has shown that it can not be trusted. Moreso, Michael Jordan should be ashamed of himself. How many people have to be bloodied and bruised before the basketball great owns up to the responsibility he bears for their injuries? If Michael Jordan cared about the 99% he would have modeled his career on the likes of Bill Wennington. That way, there would be no riots. That way, the shoe would sell or not sell on its own merits—not the greatness of “Air” Jordan. If Nike cared about footwear, they’d put themselves in the shoes of every person who was knocked down, robbed, or assaulted over a pair of Jordans. Since they won’t step up to the plate, Democrats will. It is our solemn vow to see to it that not one person ever again feels the pain of an unregulated shoe-release.

Not surprisingly, Republicans in both Houses have come out against the bill. They were promptly called racists, due to the heavy concentration of Air Jordan purchases in urban areas. Politifact takes issue with that claim, citing that presidential contender Ron Paul has been anti-shoe regulation since Congress looked into the implications of a Larry Bird deal with Converse in the early 1980’s.

Note: The author of this post is a graduate of The Dennis Rodman School of Satire in Detroit, Michigan.

Obama Touts Promises Kept Video. Harry Reid’s Iraq War Surrender Ignored.

During the darkest days of the Iraq War, Harry Reid literally surrendered. The left took out ads casting General Petraeus as "General Betray Us." Barack Obama opposed the surge. And yet, his "Promises Kept" video never mentions any of those things. Neither will most historians. Conservative bloggers, much to their chagrin, have good memories.

Barack Obama’s campaign for reelection has just released a new video, Ending the War in Iraq: A Promise Kept.

“Iraq’s future will be in the hands of its people. America’s war in Iraq will be over. There was one constant—your patriotism. Your commitment to fulfill your missions. Your abiding commitment to one another. That did not change. That did not waver…The War in Iraq will soon belong to history. Your service belongs to the ages.”

I don’t agree with the president with much, but he’s right when he says that the soldiers’ commitment to the mission remained constant. His sin of omission is that he neglects to mention his own mercurial positions on the war, or the left’s attempts to undermine the effort at every turn. President Obama opposed the surge. Harry Reid literally surrendered, saying that the war “was lost.” The anti-war movement beat their bongo drums and marched in the streets right up until the day George Bush left office, at which time they decided making evil papier-mâché effigies of Obama wasn’t worth the effort.

President Obama also missteps when he says the Iraq War will soon belong to history. It always belonged to history, which is why his efforts, and the efforts of the left to cut the mission off at the knees during its darkest days are so contemptible. While George Bush was trying to secure victory, liberalism’s top brass was encouraging everyone to pack up the tents and go home. When there were signs of success, there were headlines like, “As Violence Falls in Iraq, Cemetery Workers Feel the Pinch”:

A drop in violence around Iraq has cut burials in the huge Wadi al Salam cemetery here by at least one-third in the past six months, and that’s cut the pay of thousands of workers who make their living digging graves, washing corpses or selling burial shrouds.

In a sane world, the history books would reflect who, precisely, empowered the type of people who would wait until the fate of Iraq hung in the balance to take out ads casting General Petraeus as “General Betray Us.” In a sane world, the reckless rhetoric of candidate Obama (i.e., “air raiding and killing civilians” in Afghanistan) would have its own chapter in books titled How Not to Win a War. Sadly, most of the chroniclers of history subscribe to the Howard Zinn school of thought.  Men like Ward Churchill, the infamous University of Colorado at Boulder professor who referred to World Trade Center workers as “little Eichmanns,” populate our nation’s campuses and fill our kids’ heads with pernicious mush.

As campaign season kicks into high gear, President Obama will continue to release more “Promises Kept” videos. That’s understandable, but it’s also like a termite taking credit for saving the house after a pest control officer clears out the infestation.