Kevin Bacon uses dance as a weapon against his arch nemesis: Middle America. If you're asking if he gave Cold War era Soviets killer hip snaps...the answer is no.

Every generation has its silly dance movies, whether it’s Flashdance, Footloose, Dirty Dancing, Save the Last Dance, etc.  However, what’s even more depressing than seeing Kevin Bacon use dance as a weapon against those oppressive redneck hicks in Middle America (or Kevin Bacon in cinematic child molester case studies Roger Ebert can’t stop thinking about)…is the liberalism that usually undergirds most of them.  Why was it Kevin could give angry hip thrusts and fist pumps to Middle America, but not to Soviet expansionism in South America or Eastern Europe? I think you know the answer…

The trailer for Step Up is a perfect example of the kind of intellectual liberal pixy stix the entertainment industry feeds us on a daily basis. It’s all sugary good idealism with little to no nutritional value:

“Dance can change things. One move can bring people together. One move can make you believe like you’re something more. One move can set a whole generation free!”

Somehow, I don’t have much confidence that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is going to watch the gyrations of American FLO Rida fans put on and say, “Dude, this whole nuke obsession and Holocaust denial? I was totally wrong. Instead of calling for the death of all Jews, gays, Americans, Western Civilization, infidels, and most of the women on earth…from now on I’ll just bowl them over with killer dance move lock and pops!”

Sadly, though, we’ve grown into a nation of self-esteem junkies who need

The new "Step Up" features FLO Rida's insane beats while Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threatens to destroy Israel---in 3D!

to be told we’re special from the cradle to the grave.  The same people who think they’re “something more” because of a single dance move were the same kids who got first place ribbons in elementary school field day events despite placing dead last in the 50 yard dash (because we’re all winners).  They’re also the same kids who thought Barack Obama was going to be able to woo the world’s worst dictators into civilized behavior with sweet nothings and “Atta boys!” in their ears. Newsflash: it doesn’t work.  When you try and to do the impossible you end up like Derek Zoolander in the famous “Walk Off” scene (i.e., self-imposed wedgies).

If your middle school kid asks you to see Step Up 3D…drive to your nearest theater to check out The Expendables this summer, where the only twisting and turning guys do will be when they’re breaking off a knife in some dictator or his thug-lackey’s gut.

Dancing with Irrational Holocaust denying thug regimes is a good way to give you a national wedgie that bleeds American.

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