The Situation Room: Where Liberalism Goes to Die.

The Situation Room: Where Liberalism Goes to Die.

By now we’ve all seen the picture from the Situation Room. President Obama, stone-cold serious. Hillary Clinton, “oh-my-God” hand clasped over mouth. Joe Biden, looking glum (although, admittedly, a weird kind of glum better suited for a tough loss for your favorite football team).

One might think I’m being glib. I’m not. In fact, I’m sure I would have had a similar expression on my face had I been there. However, it’s a look I’ve seen before. Where was it? Oh yeah…it was on President Bush on 9/11 as he was reading My Pet Goat. If you’re like me, you’ll forever have a deep respect and admiration for the man because, differences aside, you knew that he loved his country and loved the troops. You know, like the kids who were in the classroom that day, that George W. Bush is a man who sought to protect us:

“I’ll always remember watching his face turn red. He got really serious all of a sudden. But I was clueless. I was just 7. I’m just glad he didn’t get up and leave, because then I would have been more scared and confused.” Chantal Guerrero, 16, agrees. Even today, she’s grateful that Bush regained his composure and stayed with the students until The Pet Goat was finished. “I think the President was trying to keep us from finding out,” says Guerrero, “so we all wouldn’t freak out.”

Getting sand-blasted by reality instigates the same facial expressions, whether you're liberal or conservative.

The utter seriousness in both pictures show us what it looks like to be sand-blasted by reality (i.e., we live in a world with sick individuals who plot and plan and dream about ways to tear down the pillars of a free society). And we need to see them. It’s healthy to periodically revisit images of the Twin Towers falling or the men and women who chose to jump to their death before it happened. To ignore them allows time to lull us into a false sense of security. Even worse, it opens the door for unscrupulous politicians to demonize others for short-term gain.

And that is why the Situation Room photo is so amazing. Only a few years ago certain individuals in that room (you know who they are), fed their followers rhetorical red meat about George Bush’s motives on Iraq, Afghanistan, Gitmo, and the War on Terror. And yet, there they are—spellbound by the truth. In those moments politics tend to disappear, because when the right thing to do is before you it shines so bright and brilliant it’s hard to see alternatives.

Pakistani sovereignty, anyone? “No thanks. We need to do what needs to be done. And this is no time to theorize as to what it means to be sovereign if you have zero control over your border and your intelligence service is in bed with the bad guys. We’ll take this one alone.”

Conservatives recognize that we live in an imperfect world. Sometimes you aren’t dealing with good guys and bad guys. Sometimes you’re dealing with bad guys and really bad guys.

Sadly, no one cut Bush any slack when he was the one in the Situation Room. I don’t expect an apology anytime soon. But Bush, who always trusted that history would be far kinder to him than the Chris Matthews Leg Tingle Brigade, is looking good these days. And future generations won’t need an apology on record from President Obama or anyone else to understand just how well “W” did with the crappy hand he was dealt. They’ll know.

Kanye West: Liberal Runaway?

Kanye needs to stop talking about his entrepreneurial successes and pointing out that media regularly distorts reality when it conflicts with their worldview. Pretty soon they’ll label him a “runaway”…and converge like a horde of zombies.

Kanye West was back in the news over the holidays and, while the headlines read “Kanye Laudes Bush,” the real story should have been: Kanye’s Latent Conservatism.  It may have taken the patience of a World War II Indian code breaker to glean the meaningful moments from his inane, narcissistic drivel, but it’s there:

I always felt like I could do anything, but now I feel so fearless like to do an album right, after the year I had…and to come back…to come back and do 100,000 first day digital alone…to be slated to do 600,000 in the first week…and I don’t talk about the numbers, but what that number says is that people want me to keep making music and not give up.

Whether we like his product or not, it’s undeniable that Kanye West has embraced his entrepreneurial spirit.  He’s cornered the market for shameless self-promotional musicians who write catchy tunes for the “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for” generation.  He’s made a mint doing it in the process, and God bless the free market for that.  Kanye can tell us all day he doesn’t talk about the numbers (before doing just that), but everyone knows that he’s constantly looking for barometers to measure his success.  And that’s a good thing.

As conservatives, someone should be reaching out to Kanye to let him know why it’s much better if he reaps the benefits of successful endeavors, and not the politicians who use “Bridge to Nowhere” logic for pet projects and entitlement programs. The federal government shackles creative men and women through complex regulations, excessive taxation, and public policy that create incentives for sloth and apathy. If the right person explains that to the musician it could take him from the brink of an epiphany to actually having one.  Or perhaps being cannibalized by his liberal media allies in the wake of the Taylor Swift debacle has already served as the catalyst:

Cause look at this: everybody wants to use people and [vilify] people.  Even if you take the concept of George Bush. There is no leader in history that has been [vilified] in that way and didn’t get killed at war or commit suicide.  So any man that lives through it deserves one moment of redemption.  Any man.  Because at the end of the day we are all—none are without flaw…

It’s not about popular opinion.  It’s about when you look in your heart and know what’s right and what’s wrong. When you look in your heart look at what the media did—look at how they exploited him.  They said that he said [the Kanye West incident] was his lowest moment and as a mass as America we took that as a fact.  If you look at the interview he said it’s one of his moments and he said it about ten different things! But because of the popularity of me they exploited that to make you watch the interview and make you feel [Bush] was stupider than ever to think that a rapper’s comment could be his lowest moment.  That’s not what he f***ing said!  That’s not what he said.  He said it’s one of his lowest moments.  It shows you the way they try to [vilify].  The way they try to do that.

Kanye is in dangerous territory, telling liberals that it’s possible to look into your heart and know the difference from right and wrong.  Didn’t someone tell him that liberal moral relativists believe universal truths are antiquated, dangerous things that conservative ignoramuses use to exploit the poor and minorities?  Pretty soon he’s going to go completely off the reservation and say something crazy like:

  • Demonizing the people who create jobs is not conducive to economic growth.
  • You can not tax your way to prosperity.
  • 14 trillion dollar economies can not be “planned” by 535 elected officials in Washington, DC.
  • We should not emulate the policies that led to Greece’s economic meltdown.

Kanye needs to be careful, writing songs titled Runaway.  If he keeps talking up enterprise and calling out media’s treatment of George Bush, they’ll think he’s fled the liberal orthodoxy.  And then the collective will converge like zombies on one who resisted their bite.

“Young Guns” No Bush. Search for Conservative Magnificent Seven Continues.

Paul Ryan's batting average was great...until this one.

I’ve been thinking long and hard as to whether or not to comment on the RNC’s “Young Guns” ad. As I’ve stated in the past, I have an aversion to conservatives airing their dirty laundry for everyone to see. In this case, it’s doubly worse for me because Paul Ryan’s batting average has been amazing up until this point.
I guess I should start by asking, “Who was this ad aimed at?” because if the answer is “young professionals” then we have a problem. There are only a handful of guys who can walk across the screen in slow motion in the hopes of exuding cool who can actually attain the desired effect: The cast of Reservoir Dogs. The cast of Swingers. The Expendables. The Magnificent Seven. The list goes on, to be sure, but it almost certainly doesn’t include gangly white politicians from Washington, DC.

The ONLY exception to the U.S. politician rule in recent memory is a famous picture of Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld walking along a dusty path on W’s ranch. Why is that? The answer is simple: They just got done kicking a** and taking names in the Middle East. Terrorists, Taliban, al Qaeda, jihadi sympathizers and scum around the world threw a jaw-jarring sucker punch to the United States on 9/11, and George Bush and Co. rubbed its chin, rolled up its sleeves, looked up with a confident grin and a swagger in its step, and threw down. Big time.

Bush didn't need to convince anyone he was a "cowboy." His critics (and jihad scum around the world) called him that because they were terrified of the man.

We can debate whether or not it was prudent to take out Saddam Hussein when we did, but there is no debate that despotic punk thugs around the globe and the terrorist skid marks that are allowed to exist in their wake didn’t know what hit them during the Bush administration. Literally, because many of them were atomized over the past few years when huge hellfire missiles landed on their tiny jihadi brain stems.
People called George Bush a cowboy—he didn’t have to ask them to. When George Bush said he wanted Osama bin Laden “Dead or Alive” people knew that U.S. Special Ops were already behind the scenes disrupting terrorist plots, snatching bodies that needed a little snatching, and causing the civilized world’s human cockroaches to run for cover. And, while roaches are incredibly difficult to kill or eradicate, at least George Bush kept them from overrunning the house. He pushed them back where they belong—in the shadows, where real life versions of The Expendables break up terrorist cells or individual terrorist necks (whichever comes first).

Likewise, why did The Dark Knight resonate with many conservatives? Why was there Wall Street Journal articles linking George Bush to Gotham’s caped crusader? Because Bush unabashedly acknowledged pure evil when he saw it in a time and place where we’re told to deny it or go to a little blue comfort cave in our mind’s eye.

Can you imagine anyone comparing the actors in the “Young Guns” ad to The Dark Knight? Of course not. And whoever came up with the bright idea for the spot to begin with needs to have their head examined if they thought it would resonate with young professionals.

Cool people don’t need to convince anyone they’re cool. They just are. Conservatives don’t have a media machine, the education system, and Hollywood A-listers to help their branding, and no one is going to cover up their more obvious flaws like they do so with liberals. Conservatives need to be genuinely witty, affable, or intellectually sharp to win over Americans when the purveyors of cool are against them. It’s not fair, but that’s the way it is. And in some ways, it can be seen as a blessing in disguise.

Instead of making cheesy videos that are ready-made material for late night comics, conservatives need to concentrate on building up their farm league. There are plenty of sharp, young conservatives who can enter the lion’s den and come out unscathed. Sadly, it seems like instead of cultivating the next generation of conservative leaders, our leading politicians are busy preening for the cameras.

Somewhere in the conservative ranks is a Magnificent Seven. Sadly, Americans are only treated to the "Gang of Six." Look it up...

Stallone, Barack Obama, Marvel Comics and the Very Real Secret War.

Stallone rocks. Why? Because unlike most of Hollywood, he knows the world has some pretty scary characters in it.

Do I write a post about Stallone’s new flick The Expendables, or do I cover the Obama administration’s Secret War tactics in the War on Terror? How about…both!

In the new trailer The Expendables, Stallone’s voiceover begins:

“We are the shadows…and the smoke in your eyes. We are the ghosts…that hide in the night.”

What does this mean? It means that the world is a dangerous place, and sometimes we need people to go in an clean up messes the civilized world would like to pretend don’t exist. Think the BP oil spill is a threat to humanity? Okay. But oily terrorists operating in lawless regions around the world can also cause messy explosions, gushers (of blood) on city streets, and black-charred coatings where beautiful things used to stand…

Sometimes, someone like George Bush comes around and is willing to openly talk

about the world’s scum buckets and dirt bags who’d like nothing better than to make Americans take dirt naps in densely populated urban areas. And people get angry, because if you acknowledge how susceptible free societies are to jihad nuts with a desire to return to the dark ages…it means you have a lot of tough decisions to make.

Even liberal writers like Brian Michael Bendis seem to know (really, really, deep down) that we live in a world where a Secret War or two or three or more…is being waged between competing visions for humanity’s future. The only problem is, when guys like George W. Bush are in office, liberal comic book writers come up with weird Bush-Gitmo allegories that inadvertently make the case for conservatism!

Can someone tell me when Brian Michael Bendis is going to lampoon Barack Obama in the comics for the very real “Secret War” that he’s apparently taken to another level? Don’t hold your breath:

Beneath its commitment to soft-spoken diplomacy and beyond the combat zones of Afghanistan and Iraq, the Obama administration has significantly expanded a largely secret U.S. war against al-Qaeda and other radical groups, according to senior military and administration officials..Obama, one senior military official said, has allowed “things that the previous administration did not.”

How many young voters pulled the lever for Barack Obama under the liberal auspices that we can live in harmony with jihadi head choppers if we just try really hard to “understand” and “reach” them? (My favorite is Richard Gere’s infamous post-9/11 suggestion that guys like Osama Bin Laden just need to be loved.)

It’s all a lie. The world is a dangerous place. Evil exists, despite what the Neal Gabler moral relativist Mole Men tell you. And it’s better to be honest and frank about that, because otherwise you create bizarre realities where “peace activists” (who try to slice through your liver with gigantor-knives when their cargo is about to be inspected) can play the victim-card. You also have scenarios play out where young people say, “Umm…what happened to all that hopeandchange?” (Yes, that’s one word):

The Obama administration has rejected the constitutional executive authority claimed by Bush and has based its lethal operations on the authority Congress gave the president in 2001 to use “all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons” he determines “planned, authorized, committed, or aided” the Sept. 11 attacks.

Many of those currently being targeted, Bellinger said, “particularly in places outside Afghanistan,” had nothing to do with the 2001 attacks.

Weren’t there a lot of Democrats that voted for that? Hmmm. Nevermind.

The hopeandchange never materialized because it was never there. I bet the kiddies are feeling pretty numb, right now. It’s okay Thunder Kiss, conservatism will welcome you with open arms when the reality hits that it’s a strange, strange world (incompatible with “planned” economies and Youtube Diplomacy).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Stallone trailer to watch.

Hey Bendis, do you mind telling me when you’re going to roast Barack Obama for his Secret War? Want to weigh in, Marvel? Didn’t think so. Hypocrites. Deep down, all of these guys are furious that George W. Bush is going to be largely vindicated.

Death Cab for Coffee Party: The Truth Hurts, Guys.

I was reading about the side effects of our wonderful new healthcare bill, and I couldn’t help but think of Andrew W.K’s song Get Ready to Die:

This is your time to pay,
This is your judgement day,
We made a sacrifice,
And now we get to take your life.
We shoot without a gun,
We’ll take on anyone,
It’s really nothing new,
It’s just a thing we like to do.

Part of me is just posting this because I know somewhere, someplace, a Death Cab for Cutie obsessed diminutive liberal girl attending a Coffee Party has just lost it. Or was that Moby? (If you live in DC he’ll be at Busboys and Poets Wednesday, April 7th trying to convince you to go vegan, but that’s material for an upcoming blog post…) The Death Panel panic button is

See this face? This energy? This is what I'm bringing on you for a long time to come, John "control the people" Dingell. Get ready to land in a government-run hospital due to exhaustion, because I'm ready to Party Hard...for years.

always within arms reach, and the New York Times’ Charles Blow and Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann and the rest of the liberal cheerleaders in the media are always itching to paint you and I as kooks.

The problem for them is, we have sound, coherent, arguments for why the government taking over 1/6 of the US economy and declaring healthcare a “right” is a really bad idea. And bad ideas, sadly, have a nasty habit of convincing each generation they’re not despite long track records of proven failure. That’s why it’s a long, philosophical war that we have to be gearing up for. I suggest bringing all the intellectual ammo we can carry in our rucksacks. Let the liberals reload with Bush BB’s if they want to, but I’m more a fan of 5.56 mm intellectual bullets provided by Heritage and other credible conservative idea factories (I put the “intellectual” qualifier in there for Arianna Huffington in case I’m frightening her.)

With that said, I’d like to close out this blog by asking: Is it possible to taint Death Cab for our Coffee Party friends? Let’s see… I believe this song makes me think of Obamacare:

Love of mine some day you will die
But I’ll be close behind
I’ll follow you into the dark

I always thought this, but I guess now I’ll just have to prepare to die a little earlier. Unless that Bankruptcy Wormhole the President seems to believe in really works…

Jason Mattera’s Dave Matthews-Barack Obama Human Waste Dump Conundrum

Jason Mattera, author of Obama Zombies: How the Liberal Machine Brainwashed My Generation, accurately described media coverage of Barack ““Milli Vanilli” Obama with the more contemporary musical phenomenon, The Jonas Brothers:

The media treat leftist politicians as though they are at a Jonas Brothers concert. They’re just fawning licking the heels of their favorite teen idol. I think many young people forgot they were voting for a president, and instead thought they were voting for the ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air…Barack Obama would organize these free Dave Matthews concerts around the country…and they’re like ‘Sweet bro! Barack hooked me up with Dave Matthews, I’m gonna vote for him!

I think instead of getting consternated, Jason should use Dave Matthews’

Dave Matthews' fans love him despite the fact his tour bus dumps 800 pounds of human waste on them. Likewise, those same fans voted for Barack Obama and they can expect to find a flaming bag of gut-busting generational debt-diarrhea on their future front doorsteps.

songs in an attempt to convert those same kids into conservatives, as demonstrated in one of my previous blog posts. And if that doesn’t work, we shouldn’t be surprised; the same kids who voted for Barack Obama’s policies also like a guy who dumps 800 pounds of human waste on his fans (just as Barack Obama went through a wormhole and left a flaming bag of explosive diarrhea in the form of gut-busting debt for them on their future doorsteps). When you drink the water…you get sick. (See how that’s done, my friend?) When you vote for liberals, you get health care brown notes that The Mythbusters can’t even deny.

Right now there is Misery amongst the legions of young Obama voters, even if they never heard of Soul Asylum. I assure you, with unemployment at nearly 10%, the “Obama Zombies” want somebody to shove, and George Bush has nothing to do with massive government entitlement programs and the generational debt they’re going to inherit. Kids used to watch Chester Bennington’s liberal, leather-clad soapbox mini-cinema and think of “Bush,” but right now I’d wager that “What I’ve Done” is already more aptly applied to their decision to elect President Obama.

And, if you don’t believe me Jason, I’ll just have to agree with the New York Times and deem you a racist. I’m sure I could even get Charles Blow to agree with me, if he’s ever regained consciousness from the intellectual hadouken I gave him.

Jesse James: Bush is jerk. PS: I Cheated on my Wife, Sandra Bullock, with a Dominatrix.

Do you remember when Sandra Bullock’s husband, Jesse James, called George Bush a d*ckhead? I do:

“Everyone in Iraq knows Bush is a d**khead. He’s the boss’ kid. Everybody I know who has a successful business who has a kid – the kid is always a f**khead. Have you ever noticed that?”

Do you know what I’ve noticed, Jesse? The Hollywood and entertainment community-types that have been the most strident with their anti-Bush rhetoric over the years often tend to have interesting personal lives.

Let me guess-Jesse James, the same guy who hooks up with a dominatrix in his garage, while his wife is filming on location, is probably adamant that waterboarding KSM or other al Qaeda terrorists is torture, right?

Normally, I don’t like to get tabloid-y in my blog, but here I can’t resist:

After taking Michelle on a tour of his garage, Jesse brought her into his office and locked the door. “We ended up on the couch,” she says. “He wanted to watch movies, but I asked him, ‘What’s going on with you and Sandra?'” Jesse was evasive. “He said, ‘She doesn’t live here. She has a house in Austin. She is filming, and I can’t talk about it.'” Assuming he and Sandra were separated, Michelle continued talking to Jesse, she says, and then, “We had intimate relations.”

Jesse James is great with choppers, but apparently he has the “game” of a middle schooler. In the garage? On the couch watching movies? I wonder if James popped in a copy of Demolition Man and hooked up with his mistress while Sandra Bullock was doing so (futuristically) with Stallone. Maybe in his mind she cheated on him first!

Speaking of choppers and expendables, have you seen the new trailer for Stallone’s 80’s throwback action movie? Even if it’s bad it’s going to be good. Too bad we can’t say that for Jesse “Bush is a d*ckhead, but my wife is expendable” James.

If my wife is intimate with Stallone in an action flick set in the future, does that let me off the hook for cheating on her in real life with a dominatrix? Just checking.

Obama Realizes He Might Very Well Need Bush’s Matrix-Like Shoe Dodging Skills.

If you’re like me, you might occasionally wonder if all that muslim

Muslim world reacts to Obama outreach. Is there at least a pair of Jordans in there?

outreach Barack Obama has done over the first year is paying dividends. And the answer is emphatically: Yes. Unfortunately, the payday is going to the guy who runs the “throw a shoe at Obama” booth in Indonesia. You know, that Islamic country that is slightly more friendly towards Beyonce and Gwen Stefani than Malaysia (provided they essentially wear winter jackets and moon boots during their performances). It’s also the same country, however, that gets to deal with Bali terrorists that like to kill you to Euro-Asian fusion dance beats and Sunday churchgoers who get bomb threats with Holy Communion.

It’s not that I don’t think there’s a place in the world for Youtube Diplomacy, or high stakes geo-political chess matches in which pawns like Ashton Kutcher can conceivably take out KGB Kings with his Dude, Where’s My Car intellect. I do. Actually…I don’t, but if I did it would be a really, really, really small one. Instead, these sorts of gestures (which apparently get you a Nobel Peace Prize) seem to be play a much bigger role than I think most Americans are comfortable with. Symbolism over Strength does not appear to be working. From the reset button with the Russians to carefully prepared outreach pieces to the Muslim world, the Obama administration seems to have put far too much faith in his image to alter a country’s actions based on its self-interest. They seem to be learning this the hard way, but I guess it’s better late than never, right? Unless “late” in this case actually winds up being too late…

Whether it’s underwear Christmas bombers from Yemen, Pakistani Taliban press releases, Iraqi election day bombs, Iranian efforts to acquire nukes, or shoe-throwing Indonesians—large swathes of the muslim world still (and always will) despise the United States and its President, regardless of party affiliation. For further explanation read Mark Steyn’s wonderful book America Alone.

And so I ask you this, the most important of all questions, Mr. President: Will you display Bush’s Matrix-like reflexes when the first shoe flies? I’d ask David Axelrod, but he’s cranky and acting like David Axl Rose right about now.

Barack Obama, Youtube Diplomacy, and Iran.

When Iran isn’t busy killing its own people or sending Ahmadinejad around the world to deny the existence of gay people, it’s busy moving ahead with its nuclear program.

Usually, we only get the standard screw you to the United Nations in diplomat-speak, but everyone once-in-awhile you get a story like this, that really highlights the extent to which nutcase mullahs will go for their “peaceful” nuclear program.

All of this begs the question: What were the kids thinking when they voted for a guy who thinks he can win over a religious police state that monitors your every move on the internet, deems you an enemy of God, and then kills you?

And why do people continue to have faith in the United Nations when it perpetually demonstrates that it’s one big joke? You would have thought that they learned a thing or two after United Nations Security Council Resolution 1441…but I guess not. And why would they? The current president thinks George Bush would have succeeded with the world’s dictators and thugs if only he used a little more Youtube diplomacy.

Peggy Joseph and the Federal Government Zombie Factory.

Well, it looks like President Obama has brought about change–just not the type he was looking for. Americans are finally starting to realize that a massive federal government the size of Galactus maybe, sorta, kinda – yeah, it does – impinge upon civil liberties.

The government is like a drug, and political dependence peddlers like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid know it. And speaking of people who are hooked on the government sloth trough, who is going to be the first to ask Peggy Joseph who’s making her gas and mortgage payments? Did Barack Obama ever cough up the dough, or not? And if not, what does she think about that?

How sad is it that Peggy Joseph doesn’t even realize that she’s been turned into Woody Harrelson target practice? Remember “The Burbs”? Instead of chanting “I want to kill…everyone” Peggy subconsciously subscribes to a mantra that tells her Big Government can solve all her problems. The only thing she’s killing is the spirit of independence and God-given drive that’s inside her, the inner fortitude that would allow her to accomplish big and great and grand things if she only had faith…in the abilities now-dormant within. And when her own kid becomes a female Lloyd Christmas Jim Carrey would applaud I have no doubt who she’ll blame: George Bush.

Disagree? Let me know. I’m not Kanye, so I promise I won’t respond with can’t tell me nothin’.