Douglas Ernst Blog

Obama to Use Greek Temple from Democratic Convention to Plug Hole.

June 12, 2010June 12, 2010by Douglas Ernst2 Comments

I turns out that the Washington Post is shocked (shocked, I tell you!) that people actually expect Barack Obama to deliver the goods on a wide range of public policy issues that he…ummm, campaigned on. And the Washington Post is shocked (shocked, I tell you!) that the guy who doesn’t sweat is suddenly sweating it big time when it comes to that big messy earth-pore gushing junk at the bottom of the ocean:

Why can’t he . . . well, you get the point. Obama, it turns out, is not Superman. In (unhappy) truth, no president is, no matter how politically gifted and no matter how many people, in this country and around the world, root for his success.

Wait a second…so it turns out that giving someone a Nobel Peace Prize before they’ve ever actually achieved tangible results isn’t a really clever way to trick dictators and despots into being “swell” guys? You mean the candidate who claimed electing him would be “the moment…when the rise of the oceans began to slow and the planet began to heal” suddenly finds himself presiding over rising (oily) tides caused by a hemorrhaging hole in the earth? You don’t say.

I have an idea: Why doesn’t someone find that huge set of Greek Pillars Obama used for his Denver convention speech and use it to plug the hole in the Gulf? One would think that a Greek Temple created to symbolize the greatness of The One would be big enough to put a stop to all of this. That is…unless they were fake imitations of the real thing. Hmmm.

It is only at the end of the piece that—in passing—that the author acknowledges Barack Obama’s own culpability in the credibility gap he now experiences:

Obama, fairly enough, is reaping what he sowed in assigning himself an impossible mission as a global savior. But Americans are his culpable enablers. Few people want to hear this, but he’s doing the best he can, considering the difficult circumstances that he and the nation face. And what he needs most from the public is a quality that distinguishes adults from children: patience.

oldschool — George Bush was going to go "Old School" on your grandpa using the Patriot Act, but Obama is "doing the best he can"? Hypocrites.

I don’t really remember calls for “patience” when George W. Bush was trying to figure out how to secure victory in Iraq. I do remember Harry Reid literally surrendering to our enemies. Regardless, this sets the stage nicely for Democrats to call for extensions of Obama’s Afghanistan timeline since the reality on the ground doesn’t seem to be cooperating with his previous rhetoric and artificial pullout dates. Obama’s doing “the best he can…considering the difficult circumstances that he and the nation face.” That’s so weird, because in a post 9/11 world it seemed like that’s exactly what George W. Bush was doing, and the left was trying to convince us that he was going to go Old School on your grandpa with federal agents using the Patriot Act, make himself King George by fiat, and say “FUDGE IT!” to the U.S. Constitution. But that didn’t happen. Instead, he’s making Facebook videos with a bit of the same charm and grace he showed in office (albeit with an awkward green screen viewers can do without).

When it comes to Afghanistan, I’m willing to give the president all the time he (and the nation) needs in order to succeed. I will never play politics with national security or go down in history like Harry Reid, 21st Century Retreat Monkey. It’s just annoying how the appeals for “patience” only happen when a Democrat is in office.

My name is Douglas Ernst, and I hereby endorse The Axl Rose Doctrine in times of war.

axldoctrine — The "Axl Rose Doctrine " apparently only applies to the nation when a Democrat is in office during a time of war. For those of you without a MA in AxlRosian thought, we're talking about "Patience."

President Barack “Sea Bass” Obama.

June 10, 2010by Douglas Ernst2 Comments

I love the guys at hotair, but at the same time they really need to stop

calling President Obama “Kickass.” Why? Because Kickass is actually a great movie with American Exceptionalism written all over it! I’d hate for anyone to start associating that movie with President Obama because a faux macho charade was employed to appease the “glib” Matt Lauers of the world during a time of crisis.

Personally, I’d like people to start calling the President “Sea Bass” from the Jim Carrey classic, Dumb and Dumber. I think the “Kick his ass, Sea Bass!” refrain fits rather nicely when making Gulf oil spill presidential analogies as well. And, in some strange way, I think it’s safe to say Americans feel like Jim Carrey in the infamous gas station bathroom scene…

If the kids were looking for hopeandchange, they now know that they didn’t get it. How can I make such a claim? Easy. When Jon Stewart goes Wolvie Berserk style and leaves the President with intellectual adamantium poisoning and claw slashes inches deep…it’s over. It’s just sad that it took so long for so many people to see the Milli Vanilli nature of it all. It’s little consolation to consider myself part of the “called it way back when” crowd.

So, in short, as much as I love the fake movie posters, I don’t want to see a great movie like Kickass sullied by the President’s handling of the BP Oil Spill. If you start linking good movies with liberalism, even in jest, Hit Girl’s nemesis, Roger Ebert, might start liking her. And that would just be wrong.

llyod — Many Americans are closing their eyes, sucking their thumbs, and deciding to pretend nothing bad happened after it's all over. I'm not one of them...but I understand the desire to do so.

Conservatives Sleep As Kids Taken Over By Dance Beats to Die To?

June 5, 2010June 8, 2010by Douglas ErnstLeave a comment

I almost feel bad for the conservative movement’s Rip Van Winkles,

because they’re sound asleep at the wheel as liberals are trying to drive an entire generation off a cultural cliff into a moral relativist void. Those of us who are awake know the landing is a painful one…but we need help. Badly.

Bands like MGMT are molding the Kids’ minds. Perhaps one should simply watch the video for Time to Pretend to get a better idea as to what we’re up against. Pay close attention to the lyrics:

I’m feeling rough, I’m feeling raw, I’m in the prime of my life.
Let’s make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
I’ll move to Paris, shoot some heroin, and f**k with the stars.
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We’ve got the vision, now let’s have some fun.
Yeah, it’s overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

…We’ll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We’re fated to pretend
To pretend

There are a number of ways to interpret this song, but I think the psychedelic video speaks for itself. Moral Relativism? Check. Drugs? Check. A denial of reality? Check. The visuals seem to indicate that choking on vomit in an untimely death is preferable (or at least a toss-up) to accepting responsibility that comes with adulthood. As MGMT sees it, most people are simply existing to shove money into a burning volcanic pit that renders the pursuit pointless (or that we should just cast off capitalism in general).

Anyone doubting the liberal, hippie-commune vibes could read the lyrics to their song KIDS (Currently closing in on 30 million views on Youtube):

Control yourself
Take only what you need from it
A family of trees wanted
To be haunted…

So I if have this straight, we should cast off all responsibility, do drugs, live amongst the trees as a minimalist, choke on our own puke, and die young (but don’t worry about it because life will begin anew)? Great.

kids — I look so cute with my pursed lips and furtive glances. Would it change your opinion of me if I turned your kid's brain into a psychedelic oatmeal mish-mash of wasted potential?

If conservatives aren’t going to fight for the minds of young people, they deserve to lose them to guys churning out catchy dance-music to get high and die to. It’s funny that people often mistakenly refer to MGMT as “management”, because bands like them our “managing” the development of young minds while “leaders” within the conservative movement piddle around, hoping someone else will be able to carry the load. And, while there are a lot of fine organizations (e.g., Heritage, Young America’s Foundation) attempting to cultivate the next generation of conservative leaders, by and large the movement is MIA.

There’s an electric feel that this is going to end badly if those with power and influence don’t wake up soon.

Perhaps I’m wrong (although I don’t think so). Some people say I’m a little warped because my mind was molded by a guy with an electric head, but I beg to differ.

This guy? The jury is still out…

Navy Seal Hero or Adam Lambertized USA? Vote Marcus Luttrell

June 5, 2010June 5, 2010by Douglas Ernst1 Comment

I’m getting really tired of the entertainment industry; it’s so desperate to

alam copy — Mad Max-costumed same sex kisses for shock value: Zzzzzz. Thunderdome cage match between middling celebrities? Now you're on to something.

find something shocking that they keep coming up with post-apocolyptic dance numbers featuring gay make-out sessions. First there was the Adam Lambert AMA awards, and now Miley Cyrus seems to want to provoke people with a Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome simulated lesbian lip-lock.

If the entertainment industry really wanted to shock me they would put Adam Lambert and Miley Cyrus into a Thunderdome-esque cage match and have the two of them engage each other in a life-or-death struggle for the largely-irrelevant entertainer of the year crown. Adam Lambert in a Master Blaster costume, whacked in the head with a sledgehammer Mel Gibson-style by Miley Cyrus? Now that would freeze my remote control. And my money would be on the one with the two X chromosomes.

It’s rather interesting to see where liberalism is today. Its adherents have skewered every sacred cow they can find, and they’re pretty much out of

alamdance — This guy told all of his friends to watch his "big break." Dude...your steely focus for a bondage themed, leather-strapped dance number is just sad.

ideas. They could mine the Deep Water Horizon-sized humor well that is Sharia Law and Wahhabism…but that might actually require some inner courage. Outside the creators of South Park there doesn’t seem to be much of that emanating from our artists, musicians, and writers.

Note to Hollywood: No one who is younger than 30 years old cares if you’re gay. What does annoy me is your attempt to get under my skin with whatever “edgy” material some focus group thinks will get a rise out of me. Glorified lounge singers prancing around in bondage gear doesn’t annoy me—it just makes me shake my head in disbelief that some twenty-five year old kid is proud of his “big break.”

I think about guys like Marcus Luttrell of Lone Survivor: The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10 and then I look at some leather-clad losers bringing a steely focus to their S&M styled dance number and I can’t help but laugh.

Hollywood used to pride itself on pushing boundaries. Please. Come talk to me when you stop rehashing the same “make fun of Christians” jokes you use as a crutch when you’re grasping for ideas. Or…see me when you start painting “Mohammed at 1000 Meters”.

Navy Seal — Do we want a United States based on the moral code guys like Marcus Luttrell live by...or Adam Lambert? My vote is with the Special Ops hero with one of the most amazing stories you'll ever hear.

Stallone, Barack Obama, Marvel Comics and the Very Real Secret War.

June 5, 2010June 11, 2014by Douglas ErnstLeave a comment

Do I write a post about Stallone’s new flick The Expendables, or do I cover the Obama administration’s Secret War tactics in the War on Terror? How about…both!

In the new trailer The Expendables, Stallone’s voiceover begins:

“We are the shadows…and the smoke in your eyes. We are the ghosts…that hide in the night.”

What does this mean? It means that the world is a dangerous place, and sometimes we need people to go in an clean up messes the civilized world would like to pretend don’t exist. Think the BP oil spill is a threat to humanity? Okay. But oily terrorists operating in lawless regions around the world can also cause messy explosions, gushers (of blood) on city streets, and black-charred coatings where beautiful things used to stand…

Sometimes, someone like George Bush comes around and is willing to openly talk

about the world’s scum buckets and dirt bags who’d like nothing better than to make Americans take dirt naps in densely populated urban areas. And people get angry, because if you acknowledge how susceptible free societies are to jihad nuts with a desire to return to the dark ages…it means you have a lot of tough decisions to make.

Even liberal writers like Brian Michael Bendis seem to know (really, really, deep down) that we live in a world where a Secret War or two or three or more…is being waged between competing visions for humanity’s future. The only problem is, when guys like George W. Bush are in office, liberal comic book writers come up with weird Bush-Gitmo allegories that inadvertently make the case for conservatism!

Can someone tell me when Brian Michael Bendis is going to lampoon Barack Obama in the comics for the very real “Secret War” that he’s apparently taken to another level? Don’t hold your breath:

Beneath its commitment to soft-spoken diplomacy and beyond the combat zones of Afghanistan and Iraq, the Obama administration has significantly expanded a largely secret U.S. war against al-Qaeda and other radical groups, according to senior military and administration officials..Obama, one senior military official said, has allowed “things that the previous administration did not.”

How many young voters pulled the lever for Barack Obama under the liberal auspices that we can live in harmony with jihadi head choppers if we just try really hard to “understand” and “reach” them? (My favorite is Richard Gere’s infamous post-9/11 suggestion that guys like Osama Bin Laden just need to be loved.)

It’s all a lie. The world is a dangerous place. Evil exists, despite what the Neal Gabler moral relativist Mole Men tell you. And it’s better to be honest and frank about that, because otherwise you create bizarre realities where “peace activists” (who try to slice through your liver with gigantor-knives when their cargo is about to be inspected) can play the victim-card. You also have scenarios play out where young people say, “Umm…what happened to all that hopeandchange?” (Yes, that’s one word):

The Obama administration has rejected the constitutional executive authority claimed by Bush and has based its lethal operations on the authority Congress gave the president in 2001 to use “all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons” he determines “planned, authorized, committed, or aided” the Sept. 11 attacks.

Many of those currently being targeted, Bellinger said, “particularly in places outside Afghanistan,” had nothing to do with the 2001 attacks.

Weren’t there a lot of Democrats that voted for that? Hmmm. Nevermind.

The hopeandchange never materialized because it was never there. I bet the kiddies are feeling pretty numb, right now. It’s okay Thunder Kiss, conservatism will welcome you with open arms when the reality hits that it’s a strange, strange world (incompatible with “planned” economies and Youtube Diplomacy).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Stallone trailer to watch.

nickfury — Hey Bendis, do you mind telling me when you’re going to roast Barack Obama for his Secret War? Want to weigh in, Marvel? Didn’t think so. Hypocrites. Deep down, all of these guys are furious that George W. Bush is going to be largely vindicated.

Iron Man is America.

May 5, 2010March 28, 2016by Douglas Ernst4 Comments

While it might seem odd to comment on a movie before it comes out, I can’t contain myself with Iron Man 2. John Nolte has forced my hand:

Though the highly anticipated “Iron Man 2” qualifies as a hilarious, entertaining, irreverent, and openly patriotic summer blockbuster well worth the price of admission (and then some), like most sequels, the continuing story of Tony Stark and company does falls short of its predecessor…

Hilarious: Check. Entertaining: Check. Patriotic: Check.

That’s all I needed, John. Thanks. And now I’d like to take a moment to

ironmanamerica — Iron Man is America. Liberals refuse to accept how cool that is. Their loss.

describe why Iron Man is such a great character (despite the best efforts of liberal writers to ruin him with sad attempts at Bush/Cheney warmonger allegories)

The same thing that makes Iron Man great is the same thing that makes America the most Kick Ass country the world has ever seen. The Christian elements of our nation’s founding guarantee that the innate creativity of man is encouraged to blossom. God gave each of us gifts, and wants us to take full advantage of them. Capitalism, Science, and The Rule of Law fused in America to produce a system that churns out ideas and innovation and entrepreneurs at an astounding rate—when the government gets out of the way. The spirit of America is embodied in the character of Tony Stark: He’s big. He’s bold. He shoots for the stars, and he’s unapologetic about his accomplishments.

However, like America, Tony Stark has his flaws. His same strengths can, at times, cause him to lose sight of himself. Success can be a double-edged sword (or, ummm…malfunctioning repulsor ray?), but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s still inherently a hero. And that’s exactly where so many movies written by liberal Hollywood self-loathers get it wrong. They’re so concerned about offending France’s cheese eating elitist lecture circuit and the sensitivities of cultures that won’t even play Western movies, that their heroes come across as weak-kneed nincompoops. When you stand for everything you stand for nothing. And that makes for a horrible superhero movie.

Stan Lee, a living legend most non-comic fans have heard of, once said something to the effect: I wanted to take a character that was almost impossible to like and make him popular.

To a liberal like Lee (creative genius he may be) the idea that an entrepreneur like Tony Stark would be a hard sell is, quite frankly, politically tone deaf. As much as liberals like to bash successful businessmen, the American people want to be them. As I said before, most people know that they have God-given talents and seek ways to cultivate them for the benefit of themselves and their family. Work is a virtue. Work is a gift. Giving to other people through our creative efforts is a satisfying and just endeavor, and profiting off of those efforts is equally as righteous. And that is something that liberals, for whatever reason, just don’t seem to understand.

This week I will see Iron Man 2. And I will most-likely enjoy it. And even if I don’t, I can take heart that a character who personifies American ingenuity gets to step into the limelight yet again.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go listen to that out.freakin’.standing. crooner Robert Downy Jr. And then watch…Lego Star Wars awesomeness. I suggest you take part too. You’ll thank me later.

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure: Starring The Federal Government

March 27, 2010October 6, 2010by Douglas ErnstLeave a comment

Do you remember Tim Burton’s directorial debut, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure? If you do, I’m sure you remember Francis Buxton. And if you do you’ll know exactly where I’m coming from when I say the federal government is Francis Buxton.

Francis Buxton was a big, fat, immature bully who used someone else’s money to buy things he couldn’t afford. And when he couldn’t buy what he wanted…he stole it. The federal government isn’t any different, using your hard-earned cash to buy all sorts of things it can’t afford (although I will admit that it tends to favor cars instead of bikes). And when it knows that you can’t be bought off? It does what it wants anyway.

Luckily, when the theft is egregious enough, there’s usually someone who storms the castle, crashes the pool, grabs the behemoth around the gut, and confronts the jerk. And that is exactly what the American people need to do right now, although, as the movie demonstrates, sometimes that isn’t enough to work. Perhaps Francis’ daddy (e.g., labor unions and other liberal lobbyists) shows up in the knick of time to prevent the fraud from being exposed. Perhaps any number of strange events occur that prevent justice from being done.

What then? Well, going intellectually old-school John Woo is necessary, but so is methodically laying out the evidence for the people (even if “Amazing Larry” doesn’t believe you).

If those things are done, and done well, conservatives will be okay. And when the public policy breakthrough finally comes we can ride off into the sunset like Satan’s Little Helpers on their choppers…until the next obstacle throws us over the handlebars.

The Federal Government: Your Personal Stay Puft Marshmellow Man. Stick with The Private Sector.

March 19, 2010March 20, 2010by Douglas ErnstLeave a comment

Recently I was watching Bill O’Reilly discuss insurance companies, and how they “profit off the sick” with John Stossel. Normally I only like watching The No

Stay-puft-ghostbusters-imag_1200689273 — Which is more dangerous: A government like Stay Puft...or Geraldo Rivera?

Spin Zone when Neil Cavuto gives him an economic beat down, but I think I can grow fond of Stossel picking up the old Irish guy and giving him an intellectual suplex. However, it mildly frustrated me when John had an opportunity to deal Bill a devastating blow, but opted to pull back instead. The idea that anyone who “profits off the sick” should somehow provide their service for free (or a severely-reduced charge) is silly, emotional, and endemic of the kind of appeals liberals make for their Federal Government Stay Puft Marshmellow Man Dreams. If Bill wasn’t 90 feet tall I’d slap him across the head and tell him to read a book or two by Thomas Sowell.

Here’s an example. Years ago I worked as a substitute teacher in a high school just outside Chicago. Before I became permanently assigned to one school, my workload for the week fluctuated with how many teachers were sick, on vacation, or taking a personal day. However, the bulk of the time I was making money off the stuffy noses, sore throats, and hospital stays of full-time educators! Every week I was pulling in enough money to pay my bills, support a few hobbies, and still save money for a rainy day. But, according to Bill’s logic (who admits the insurance industry’s profit margins are rather tame compared to others), I should somehow feel dirty for providing a much-needed service to those who required it.

Are insurance companies perfect? No. I’m sure there are areas of reform both conservatives and liberals can agree on. However, my problem with Bill is that he’s made the decision to pander to “the folks” the kind of pap John “Two Americas:“The One Where I’m Faithful and the One Where I’m Not” Edwards did on the campaign trail. Why? Because he still maintains he’s “Independent.” Okay, Bill… Give me a break.

If you’re “independent,” then Geraldo Rivera didn’t just get side-swiped by a giant wave. Or give away our troops’ position. Take your pick.

Continue reading “The Federal Government: Your Personal Stay Puft Marshmellow Man. Stick with The Private Sector.”

George Washington likened to Xenu followers, Alan Colmes normal? We have a lot of work to do.

March 19, 2010March 19, 2010by Douglas Ernst5 Comments

I was recently talking with a friend in Los Angles about what I do for a

GWvfprayer — This guy is a cultist who believes in Xenu while Alan Colmes is considered normal? We have a lot of work to do.

living. In short, I told her, I get to promote a think tank that believes Free Enterprise, Limited Government, Individual Freedom, a Strong National Defense, and Traditional American values are the principles our public policies should be crafted in concert with. In short—our First Principles.

My friend’s response was that it sounded like I was “in a cult.” And, while she was in no way trying to insult my person or my profession, I think she was inadvertently on to something, which is why I responded, “Sure, I’m in a cult…if you consider the Founding Fathers part of a cult.” My apolitical, left-leaning friend unwittingly voiced what conservatives have known for years: we now live in a United States where the roadmap the Founding Fathers actually intended future generations to follow is now foreign to large swathes of the American public.—particularly young people. Liberalism and the moral relativism that comes part and parcel with it has muddied up the learning pool enough so that things that were once “self-evident” no longer are, and past axioms associated with freedom and liberty are no longer such—they must be questioned and examined.

To you and I, the evidence is clear that free societies are strongly correlated with prosperity and economic growth. To you and I, bloated government is like an out of control Zeppelin that clumsily teeters to-and-fro before crashing and burning into a sickening display of wreckage. But to countless others, there is no intellectual double-take when the same people who can’t run a post office decide they want to control the ultimate package: You, and the health and well-being housed inside (Kudos to any liberal critics who pick apart this post by pointing out that “Ultimate Package” sounds like a really bad 80’s adult film, but it still doesn’t undermine the soundness of the argument).

It’s a sad and pathetic existence when smart, creative young people in the prime of their lives are trained like Pavlov’s dogs to doubt the potential for greatness inside them (the key to their release?). Instead of cultivating a nation of go-getters who would look at the US economy’s flotsam and jetsam and make something new and bright and bold that might change the world for the better—because of their initiative—we’re planting the seeds for a nation of reticent loafs who wait for third parties to tell them what to do and how to do it.

It would be easy to blame the usual suspects (e.g. Hollywood, liberal academics, etc.) for the situation we find ourselves in, but in this instance I think it’s important for conservatives to look in the mirror and take ownership for the part they play in colonization of America by Alan Colmes clones.

When you’re trying to paddle to a destination up steam, a really a good idea is to paddle with a force greater than that of the current. Sure, the Tea Party movement is fighting furiously to save us from quickly becoming a nation of Nanny State slaves wallowing in subsidized mediocrity like blissfully ignorant pigs, but what if it’s too late? What if we’re too close to the waterfall and no amount of paddling can save us?

Personally, I don’t think we’re at that point (I’m an eternal optimist), but conservatives need to learn some hard lessons from this moment in history. When fighting against the tide of liberalism, whether it’s on a college campus or the entertainment industry or any other aspect of our lives, we need to work twice as hard as the next guy and always be on the lookout for new ways to innovate from within, educate the public outside the Beltway, and disseminate amongst all contributors to the movement.

And if you haven’t gotten anything from this post I award you no points…and may God have mercy on your soul.

Robert Gibbs, Beltway Brown-Noser and Jim Carrey Lloyd Christmas Fodder.

March 12, 2010March 12, 2010by Douglas ErnstLeave a comment

The catalyst for this blog was Robert Gibbs’ foray into the Twitterverse, offering up his Gibbsian absurdity for the world to see in 140 characters or

gibbslight — Nipp, Nipp, Nipp, Nipp, Nopp, Nopp, Nopp, Nopp.

less. And so, it brings a great smile to my face that the guy who owes his career to being one heck of a Beltway Brown-Noser gives me the opportunity to cover his latest newsworthy moment.

Is it possible to lampoon a guy who uses the Sarah Palin scandal de rigueur to mask his woeful tenure as a Press Secretary? Is it possible to ridicule a guy who depends on the Gibbs Giggle Index to obfuscate Obama administration failures (When the truth is, they’re often laughing at him for the efforts)? The answer: Yes. And you can archive that, Gibber.

Ask yourself if you’ve ever gotten any worthwhile information from a Robert Gibbs Press Briefing? For the life of me I can’t think of any substantive information that has been given out at one these fiascos…for years. Am I wrong, or just jaded? It feels as though Gibbs looked at wonderful examples of past Press Secretaries and said, “Nope, I’ll model myself after that guy.

The next time Gibbs mentions Supreme Court cases the American people disagree with, I wonder if someone will ask him about Kelo vs. New London. Somehow I doubt anyone would ask Robert “Captain Stubing” Gibbs about a decision that completely undermines your private property rights because it’s kind of a bummer to think that one of the pillars of a free society was demolished right in front of our eyes and no one noticed. My own reaction, years later, is still something akin to Snake’s death. Or was it… Snaaake’s death?

Regardless, all you need to know about Robert Gibbs has already been said-by Jim Carrey.