Dave Matthews’ Environmental Amnesia: His Own Sick Slick in Chicago River.

Dave Matthews is suddenly concerned  about harmful sludge discharged from the bowels of the earth, and the effect it has on living creatures in and around the sullied water.  It wasn’t too long ago, however, that good old Dave didn’t give a hoot about the oil slicks and tar balls the bowels of The Dave Matthews Band unleashed on unsuspecting citizens drifting along the Chicago River.

“It’s a national problem that requires a national solution,” (Dave Matthews on the Gulf Oil Spill…not to be confused with statements made when his tour bus dumped 800 lbs. of human waste on innocent bystanders).

In the same ad Dave implores you to” [Demand] restoration and protection of America’s Gulf Coast.”  Kind of like the state of Illinois demanded $70,000 bucks from you Dave, for “violating state environmental laws”!  I’m sure some of your fans would say, “Funny the way it is”?…

And finally, if you watch the video you’ll see almost all the stars except Dave ask participants to “Be the one” to help restore the Gulf Coast. Why the mysterious absence from that portion, Dave?  Methinks it’s because you’re too much of a fan of “Number Two.”

Don’t drink the water

Dave Matthews can dump 800 pounds of his own human waste on you, but don't you dare let an oil gasket blow BP, or he'll come running (I'm talking about with his feet, not his bowels...I think)

in the Gulf because it’s a.) salt water and b.) oily. And don’t drink the water in Chicago when Dave comes to town unless your Brita Filter is altered for microbiological eclectic rock band waste filtration.

And yes, I know the Space Between what Dave’s band was responsible for and what BP and the federal government is responsible for is huge…but someone has to remind others that the liberal moral pedestal back patters tend to use the world as their personal toilet when they think no one is looking.

Consider yourself Crushed, Dave.

Dave Matthews: I look so concerned about the environment here. You would never know I paid out tens of thousands for my own environmental disaster that left people covered in sludge.

Obama to Use Greek Temple from Democratic Convention to Plug Hole.

I turns out that the Washington Post is shocked (shocked, I tell you!) that people actually expect Barack Obama to deliver the goods on a wide range of public policy issues that he…ummm, campaigned on.  And the Washington Post is shocked (shocked, I tell you!) that the guy who doesn’t sweat is suddenly sweating it big time when it comes to that big messy earth-pore gushing junk at the bottom of the ocean:

Why can’t he . . . well, you get the point. Obama, it turns out, is not Superman. In (unhappy) truth, no president is, no matter how politically gifted and no matter how many people, in this country and around the world, root for his success.

Wait a second…so it turns out that giving someone a Nobel Peace Prize before they’ve ever actually achieved tangible results isn’t a really clever way to trick dictators and despots into being “swell” guys? You mean the candidate who claimed electing him would be “the moment…when the rise of the oceans began to slow and the planet began to heal” suddenly finds himself presiding over rising (oily) tides caused by a hemorrhaging hole in the earth?  You don’t say.

I have an idea: Why doesn’t someone find that huge set of Greek Pillars Obama used for his Denver convention speech and use it to plug the hole in the Gulf? One would think that a Greek Temple created to symbolize the greatness of The One would be big enough to put a stop to all of this. That is…unless they were fake imitations of the real thing. Hmmm.

It is only at the end of the piece that—in passing—that the author acknowledges Barack Obama’s own culpability in the credibility gap he now experiences:

Obama, fairly enough, is reaping what he sowed in assigning himself an impossible mission as a global savior. But Americans are his culpable enablers. Few people want to hear this, but he’s doing the best he can, considering the difficult circumstances that he and the nation face. And what he needs most from the public is a quality that distinguishes adults from children: patience.

George Bush was going to go "Old School" on your grandpa using the Patriot Act, but Obama is "doing the best he can"? Hypocrites.

I don’t really remember calls for “patience” when George W. Bush was trying to figure out how to secure victory in Iraq. I do remember Harry Reid literally surrendering to our enemies. Regardless, this sets the stage nicely for Democrats to call for extensions of Obama’s Afghanistan timeline since the reality on the ground doesn’t seem to be cooperating with his previous rhetoric and artificial pullout dates.  Obama’s doing “the best he can…considering the difficult circumstances that he and the nation face.” That’s so weird, because in a post 9/11 world it seemed like that’s exactly what George W. Bush was doing, and the left was trying to convince us that he was going to go Old School on your grandpa with federal agents using the Patriot Act, make himself King George by fiat, and say “FUDGE IT!” to the U.S. Constitution. But that didn’t happen. Instead, he’s making Facebook videos with a bit of the same charm and grace he showed in office (albeit with an awkward green screen viewers can do without).

When it comes to Afghanistan, I’m willing to give the president all the time he (and the nation) needs in order to succeed.  I will never play politics with national security or go down in history like Harry Reid, 21st Century Retreat Monkey.  It’s just annoying how the appeals for “patience” only happen when a Democrat is in office.

My name is Douglas Ernst, and I hereby endorse The Axl Rose Doctrine in times of war.

The "Axl Rose Doctrine " apparently only applies to the nation when a Democrat is in office during a time of war. For those of you without a MA in AxlRosian thought, we're talking about "Patience."

President Barack “Sea Bass” Obama.

I love the guys at hotair, but at the same time they really need to stop

Who knew the President was modeling his presidency on "Sea Bass" from Dumb and Dumber?

calling President Obama “Kickass.”  Why? Because Kickass is actually a great movie with American Exceptionalism written all over it! I’d hate for anyone to start associating that movie with President Obama because a faux macho charade was employed to appease the “glib” Matt Lauers of the world during a time of crisis.

Personally, I’d like people to start calling the President “Sea Bass” from the Jim Carrey classic, Dumb and Dumber. I think the “Kick his ass, Sea Bass!” refrain fits rather nicely when making Gulf oil spill presidential analogies as well.  And, in some strange way, I think it’s safe to say Americans feel like Jim Carrey in the infamous gas station bathroom scene…

If the kids were looking for hopeandchange, they now know that they didn’t get it. How can I make such a claim? Easy. When Jon Stewart goes Wolvie Berserk style and leaves the President with intellectual adamantium poisoning and claw slashes inches deep…it’s over.  It’s just sad that it took so long for so many people to see the Milli Vanilli nature of it all.  It’s little consolation to consider myself part of the “called it way back when” crowd.

So, in short, as much as I love the fake movie posters, I don’t want to see a great movie like Kickass sullied by the President’s handling of the BP Oil Spill. If you start linking good movies with liberalism, even in jest, Hit Girl’s nemesis, Roger Ebert, might start liking her. And that would just be wrong.

Many Americans are closing their eyes, sucking their thumbs, and deciding to pretend nothing bad happened after it's all over. I'm not one of them...but I understand the desire to do so.