Tag: Superior Spider-Man

Dan Slott: Marvel’s lying scribe attacks critics, then turns to Twitter to massage his fragile ego

April 21, 2014January 30, 2015by Douglas Ernst198 Comments

For roughly an entire year now Dan Slott has had regular meltdowns directed at yours truly. Last May, I wrote a piece titled: ‘Is Dan Slott’s ‘Superior Spider-Man’ really a Superior anti-Semite?’ The whole point of the article was to show that a villain who came within inches of exterminating 6 billion people was about to be placed in Peter Parker’s body. Marvel’s flagship character was going to be taken over by a genocidal maniac. At a pivotal point in Spider-Man history, one of his greatest villains declared that he would transcend Hitler, Pol Pot, and Genghis Khan in terms of infamy perpetrated upon the world.

Dan Slott has obsessed over me for almost a year — even going so far as to sic his Twitter groupies on me — because I had the gall to react to his insertion of a real-world monster into a fictional comic. In response to his attacks I asked: What is more offensive — Dan Slott’s indiscriminate use of incendiary names or my reminder of the implications of his indiscriminate use of incendiary names? He never answered. All he’s done is engage in online ranting and raving (e.g., I’m a “terrible human being”) that must make consummate professionals within the confines of Marvel’s offices cringe.

For the past year he’s taken to multiple platforms to engage in character assassination. I’m a “terrible” person. I’m a “bad” person. He’s holds that I simultaneously “implied” and “flat-out” said that he — a Jew — was anti-Semitic (as if I even knew or cared about his heritage in 2013).

My response was that it was quite clear in the piece — and in the comments section within an hour of writing the piece, that I did no such thing and that his accusations were false.

From the piece: Silly me. The guy who “just” came within inches of an extinction level event because he hated all of humanity is now housed in Peter Parker’s body. …

Slott [to Newsarama]: He’s trying his best to be a hero, but he’s doing it in a very Doc Ock way. And Doc Ock’s an egotistical, annoying sh*t. It makes him an interesting character. At his core, he’s someone we don’t really think of heroic. But is he any more annoying than [former villain] Hawkeye used to be?

From the comments section the day it was published: Very well articulated. I agree with you in that I don’t think a hatred of Jews drove him, but I wrote the piece to corner Dan Slott’s fans into admitting just how horrible Otto is.

Rational adults can see that. I even used Dan Slott’s own words to show who and what he believes Otto represents (i.e., a wannabe hero is just kinda-sorta more annoying than Hawkeye before he was an Avenger — never mind that whole extinction-level event plot months earlier). Dan Slott refuses to acknowledge the truth when it’s right in front of his face, so I had to reiterate it for him:

Note that I say that if I had it all to over again I probably would have just used a picture of Hitler, but that it was “the first one that showed up on the Holocaust museum website [as] I was looking for stats, it was late at night, and I write my posts after extremely long days. I used that one. Oh well.” I needed a Nazi picture. There was one on the page I was reading at that moment. I grabbed it. Case closed.

How was I to know that a single blog post — by a random guy Dan Slott doesn’t know and will likely never meet — would cause the Marvel scribe to seethe with “crazy town banana pants” anger for an entire year? Of course I would have picked a different picture if I had it to do over again.

Afterward, Dan Slott started littering up the YouTube page with jokes about how I said I was unable to find a picture of Hitler online. Why would he do that? Because when faced with irrefutable evidence that he is wrong about the objective of my piece — or at a minimum should rethink his knee-jerk reaction to categorize me with real-world rapists, murderers, dictators and despots — he does what he does best: attack. And then, in order to feel even better about himself, he turns to Twitter, where The Dan Slott Ego Massage Squad can go to work. It’s always ready to rub down all those tender areas of his fragile mind.

Here’s the extended tweet:

Today a blogger explained to me why he used a picture of Jewish remains being shoveled out of ovens in his Spider-Man article. And why he left it up on his site for the better part of a year. It was because he couldn’t find a picture of Hitler. There are TWO takeaways here. 1) This guy is the world’s BIGGEST asshole. […] and 2) Apparently it’s REALLY hard to Google a picture of Hitler.

You see, it’s much more soothing for his sensitive psyche to soak in the slobbering Slott-worship of Superior Spider-Man diehards, who will lather him in in praise and confirm his conclusion that detractors are “assholes” and “douches,” than it is to deal with rational people on YouTube:

Dan Slott’s reply? I simultaneously “imply” and “flat-out” call him an anti-Semite. It’s a good thing that Dan Slott covers all his bases. Never mind the quotes above that demonstrate I did no such thing.

The truth of the matter is that Dan Slott didn’t like the way I went about making my point. He didn’t like the fact that I used very real historical pictures to point out that there are implications to what all of us write and say. When you put words in a character’s mouth, those words mean something. Or, as President Obama would say: “words matter.”

Dan Slott now says that Doc Ock citing a desire to surpass Hitler, Pol Pot and Khan’s collective infamy was merely the rhetorical flourish of a “James-Bond”-type villain. Fair enough, but if Dan Slott thinks that Hitler’s name is now merely fodder for James Bond-ish dialogue, some of us think that with that should come a dose of perspective.

And so, at this time, I will include the following image, which I show you with Dan Slott’s blessing.

Human remains found in the Dachau concentration camp crematorium after liberation. Germany, April 1945. — US Holocaust Memorial Museum — Human remains found in the Dachau concentration camp crematorium after liberation. Germany, April 1945.
— U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum

That’s a wake-up call, isn’t it? Given Dan Slott’s reaction over the past year, it appears that he’s gotten the message — when you infuse real-world genocidal maniacs into the pages of Marvel comics, do not act surprised when history lovers take it seriously. Strangely enough, Dan Slott didn’t go into a TwitLonger rage when Bleeding Cool called out his character for “full-blown Nazi-like experimentation/ torture on his victims.” Ouch. How did that scene sneak by Dan Slott before going to print, given how important it is for him to protect the honor of his ancestors?

Being a veteran, whose friend was killed by a sniper in Iraq, I’ve had people say some pretty gruesome things to me, both online and in person. (Try dealing with it when it’s your college professors.) I’ve seen some horrible images that were personal affronts to the experience that probably shaped my life more than any other. However, I never obsessed over the individuals behind those hurtful or offensive acts and I didn’t call them “evil” people because, unlike Dan Slott, I know how to put things in proper perspective. But I digress. Back to the Holocaust image.

I received two reader comments that nicely summed up the debate about the picture after Dan Slott’s attacks began. They are excerpted here:

Reader #1. I think the pic was in poor taste. I see your point about taking a fictional character’s frame of reference as being wildly inappropriate. You are absolutely correct about that, it didn’t need that kind of punch. I believe Slott was only trying to maximize the horror and insanity of Ock’s mind. Regardless of his remarkably bad decision, it is still fiction, and the references should have stayed away from real-life mass murderers, unless it was far in the past. Hitler was too recent a reference, and as a Jew, Slott should have had the good taste to stay away from it. Enter Doug Ernst, who not only takes very real umbrage at this reference, but feels the need to one-up it with not only a blog post, but a photo of these poor, massacred souls to make a point. You also overstepped a boundary, Doug, and I still hope you decide to remove it on your own without further prompting. Slott is too full of bile to ask nicely, even if he is the one who instigated this. I then ask you, for the sake of those people who were in those ovens, the descendants of those unknown souls, and the millions who suffered this still-historically-relevant fate to please remove it from that entry. It serves no purpose other than sensationalism, and you don’t strike me as that kind of man who needs to stoop to that level.

Reader #2. I think Rogue is way off on the sensationalism and especially the testosterone rationale. It is important to show what Slott so casually put in his dialogue and inside Spider-Man’s head. I agree they are real people with no voice, I agree it was horrible, I agree it’s grisly — but it was Slott who betrayed their legacy — and that needs to be shown. Obviously his own grandfather’s story didn’t keep Slott from writing a tasteless story with an iconic hero, so maybe that image drove it home. I respect Rouge’s opinion, but I wouldn’t have changed it. It was Slott who inserted this awful chapter of history into the comic.

Two very different points of view, but which one is right? I ended up taking down the photo, even though I agreed with Reader #2.

My rationale:

I have removed the image and added an editor’s note. While I disagree about your conclusion that the only purpose it serves is to be sensationalistic, I think the more important point at this moment in time is that through respectful dialogue adults can work through their issues.

For that, Dan Slott called me a “coward,” proving my point that he is currently incapable of respectful dialogue.

Instead of responding to the coward claim, I will again cite Reader #1, who prompted me to take down the picture:

Slott never should have used Hitler as a reference, period. Can a fictional story use hot political or religious topics without the author being blamed as the source? No. Authors have been targeted over the course of history for their words, fictional or not. I won’t give history lessons here, but Slott decided to use a non-fictional, politically monstrous, recent, religiously sensitive reference to further a Spider-Man (HYPHEN!!!) story, and (I’m possibly reaching here), since he is a Jew, decided it was OK for him to use it. Only him. Because he’s a Jew. And he’s sensitive to the plight of the Jews. And his family has personally suffered from the Holocaust, so it was OK. Anyone else using Hitler as a reference is a BAD man, and has taken his “one thought bubble” out of context. What Slott fails to see is the hypocrisy inherent in what he did. You cannot use Hitler as a fictional hot button safely, simply because you are a Jew, then fall back on Jewish outrage to bury it once someone else picked up and expanded upon it. The truly laughable part was the threat to sue. Oy vey. I didn’t like Doug’s use of the pic for reasons stated above, none of which were in any way sympathetic to Slott or his reactions.

The point is, this whole debate is actually a lot more complex and nuanced than someone of Dan Slott’s maturity level can handle. It’s easier to call me “evil” and “terrible” and “bad” over and over again. And then, when a guy like me points out — after nearly a year of verbal diarrhea hurled in his direction — that one of the reasons why I enlisted in the armed services was so guys like him would never have to fear being shoved in an oven or shot and killed, he has the nerve to say I have unfairly used my military service as a shield.

A friend of mine put just laughed and mentioned that Dan Slott is pretty good at hiding behind his Jewish heritage (a point that Reader #1 also seems to have noticed).

And with that, I give you one last piece of evidence to show you what an immature and confused man Dan Slott is at this point in his life:

The guy encourages me to use the Holocaust picture for “intellectual honesty,” and then when I tell him I will do just that he again loses it and lashes out at my character. Do you see how it works in Dan Slott’s world? If I use the picture at his request — essentially his dare to provide “intellectual honesty” — I’m a “terrible” person; if I don’t use the picture, I’m a “terrible and dishonest” person. Dan Slott wins every time.

If I put up a picture that offends Dan Slott, I’m a “terrible human” on par with (ironically) Hitler. If I take it down after a reader acts like an adult, I’m a “coward.” While East Ukrainian Jews are being told to register with pro-Russian forces, Dan Slott pats himself on the back at night because he’s identified and attacked the real threat to the Jewish community — me. For days. And weeks. And months.

What courage. What bravery. What sacrifice. Churchill would be proud.

The great thing about Dan Slott calling me a “coward” is that anyone who reads these blog posts will understand that he’s attacked me personally on YouTube, Comic Book Resources, Twitter, TwitLonger, Comic Vine, the Marvel Message Boards and probably a few other places that I don’t even know of for roughly one year — but he hasn’t come here. Maybe now he’ll show his face. Or not. He seems to like the sound his Twitter followers make when he blows the stroke-my-ego dog whistle.

If he does decide to show up, expect him to once again say that I implied that he was anti-Semitic, even though I quite clearly never did such a thing. (Or was that “flat-out” say he was an anti-Semite? I can’t remember because it changes hourly.) No Dan, you did not write a book with an anti-Semitic character — you just wrote one with a man who wanted to kill six billion people because he hated all of humanity. And then, you made him Spider-Man. For an entire year. Again, silly me.

Time once again for Dan Slott to do his best ‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record, Baby)’ imitation.

Speaking of Church, here’s how Dan Slott’s tolerant liberal colleague Erik Larsen “celebrated” Easter.

As a practicing Catholic, I find this to be incredibly tasteless (understatement of the year award). Using the Dan Slott litmus test for “bad” and “terrible” people, Erik Larson fits the bill. It’s a good thing I don’t use Slottian methods for judging someone’s character. If I did, then I’d obsess over Mr. Larsen’s single tweet for the next year and abuse the caps-lock button as I proclaim: “I’m Catholic! I’m Catholic! I — a Catholic — am Catholic! I’m Cathooooooooolic! How dare you challenge the Universal Salvific Will of God! RAGE!”

If you enjoyed this post, just know that there will probably be more in the future, as Dan Slott’s obsession with me shows no signs of slowing down. The next time he complains about tight deadlines, take a moment to think about just how much time he wastes attacking his critics.

H/T Hube on the Erik Larsen tweet.

If you’ve made it this far I now invite you to enjoy Dan Slott’s favorite song: ‘You Spin Me Round’

Exit question: How long will it be before Dan Slott lies to his Twitter groupies and tells them that a.) I picked ‘You Spin Me Round (Like a Record Baby)’ for surreptitiously evil purposes, and b.) I seriously implied/said (pick one … or both) that he enjoys listening to Wagner, even though he’s not supposed to.

Bonus Number 2: Tomorrow Dan Slott tweets to his followers that Francis Ford Coppola may be an anti-Semite.

Dan Slott gives fans zombie Peter Parker — then counts his precious sales

April 2, 2014February 26, 2017by Douglas Ernst57 Comments

Superior Spider-Man #30 is finally here, and with it comes the guy we’ve all been waiting for: Zombie Peter Parker. Fans are supposed to rejoice now that Dan Slott’s “memory fragment” of Peter Parker has assumed the role of Spider-Man after Doctor Octopus decided to call it a day — conveniently as everything was crumbling around him. With great power comes…ducking responsibility? Since the real Peter died in Amazing Spider-Man #700 and the downloaded Otto maybe-sorta-kinda just committed suicide, fans are left to wonder: Does Spider-Man have a soul or is he an empty husk whose able to say witty one-liners and think about Uncle Ben from time to time? I suppose it’s possible that the real Peter Parker was simply brainwashed the entire time, which would mean that Dan Slott made him do all those dastardly deeds over the course of SSM’s run, but that’s a whole other can of worms.

Regardless, for those who want to know how SSM #30 transpired, all you need to know is that Otto’s love interest, Anna Maria, is being held hostage and will die unless Spider-Man finds her. As all the evil Ock has done as Spider-Man has come back to haunt him, he realizes that only Peter Parker could save Anna, and thus he relinquishes the role of the hero back to Peter.

Fans of the book are supposed to sniffle just a wee bit as Otto disappears into a Dr. Manhattan-blue mind dust and gets wind-swept into the super unknown. This fails because people who aren’t suffering from anterograde amnesia remember that this is the same character who blew a guy’s face off at point blank range only months ago.

And it’s the guy who wanted to surpass “Pol Pot, Hitler and Genghis Khan” in terms of evil perpetrated upon the world — “combined!” just over a year ago.

So the question becomes: Was it worth it? If you’re like Dan Slott and you only think in terms of sales, then yes.

If you’re like the retailer who went online to criticize the book because some things (i.e., the integrity of a character) are more important to you than a buck, then no.

Justin Bieber sells a lot of tickets, but the world knows he’s no Jack White. Dan Slott sells a lot of comics (by 2014 standards), but the world knows that sales are but one metric by which success is measured. As the years go by, critics will come to regard the Superior Spider-Man more as a bizarre embarrassment in the character’s rich history than a run to be treasured and adored.

To make matters worse, there’s also collateral damage to consider. Take how dumb The Avengers have become during the course of Superior Spider-Man. Their stupidity reaches a crescendo in issue number #30 as Iron Man and Captain America freak out about an “illegal medical facility” that Spider-Man turned a blind eye to. Blowing off a guy’s face as he’s on his hands and knees in front of you? Eh. Taking a page out of President Obama’s NSA spying scandal playbook and putting an entire city under surveillance? Zzzz. Amassing a militia of thugs and arming them with an arsenal that would cause Libyan Islamic terrorists to giggle like schoolgirls (if they allowed girls to attend school)? Yawn.

Didn’t go through the proper bureaucratic red tape necessary to open a medical center? Gasp! Dan Slott’s and Christos Gage’s Captain America wants to “arrest” that man. The Department of Health and Human Services is going to hear about this one, buster.

Should the world be happy that Peter Parker is back? Sure. But the problem is that we don’t know if he’s back because, as far as Dan Slott is concerned, a “memory fragment” without a soul is just as good as the real thing.

H/T to Colossus of Rhodey for the “sales” tweet.

And with that, I give you a preview of Jack White’s new album “Lazaretto.” Dan, since I know you’re reading this, I suggest listening to “High Ball Stepper” while imagining me doing the vocals two inches from your face. As long as you continue to write Spider-Man, I will continue to write high ball steppin’ reviews. Cheers.

Dan Slott thinks he’s ‘Slott Bakula’ in Quantum Leap as he defends Superior Spider-Man

February 19, 2014February 15, 2015by Douglas Ernst44 Comments

The history of Dan Slott trolling the Internet in search of wrongs to right is well known. He scours comic websites, Twitter feeds, Facebook groups and YouTube accounts looking to play “Slott Bakula” in his own version of Quantum Leap — even as he whines about tight deadlines. The funny thing is, when it comes to douglasernstblog.com, he has always chosen to try and slime me from a distance. Doing so allows him to sling all sorts of ad hominem attacks, knowing that the vast majority of the people will not fact check him. Oddly enough, he now talks about me on YouTube.

Dan Slott’s Twitter buddies wrote about me on Newsarama, and when I started to make him look bad I was suddenly banned. When users defended me, the entire thread was locked. (The url to “The Inferior Online Debate” is now dead.) Dan Slott also took to Twitter to insult me and sic his followers on me. He couldn’t resist talking about me over at Comic Vine, and the moderator had to chide him for his behavior. He couldn’t resist douglasernstblog.com talk over at Comic Book Resources and turned to the moderator to shut down the thread when he couldn’t goad me into saying something worthy of a ban. He even resorted to making weirdly-veiled legal threats over at Comic Vine at one point. To top it all off, there are the Orwellian Marvel boards at his disposal, which I also fell victim to over the years.

Here’s how I found out Dan Slott decided to take his attacks on me to yet another social media platform: a reader pinged me to let me know that in Dan Slott’s world, when you disagree with him it means that you must have fallen victim to the Douglas Ernst Jedi Mind Trick.

Note: A college student who disagrees with my politics and much of what I say just so happened to agree with a good portion my analysis regarding Superior Spider-Man. The comic is so bad that it transcends ideologies. Dan Slott’s reaction? The guy must be an idiot who can’t think for himself.

Even though this student disagrees with much of what is said on this blog, because he’s roughly on the same page as me regarding Superior Spider-Man, Dan Slott labels him a mindless automaton spewing “talking points.” Insulting. Dan Slott is all about winning over hearts and minds over at Marvel.

As usual, when I came in to defend myself Dan Slott starting hurling bizarre attacks in an attempt to derail the discussion or possibly predispose certain readers to outright dismiss anything I said. While most people want to talk about Superior Spider-Man on a YouTube video about Superior Spider-Man, Dan Slott wants you focused on Trayvon Martin, Global Warming and a post I did Doctor Octopus’ desire to “transcend” the evils perpetrated upon the world by Hitler, Pol Pot and Ghenghis Khan “combined” (not to be confused with Bleeding Cool’s article, which described Superior Spider-Man’s “Nazi-like” torture practices).

I deny Global Warming, according to Dan Slott. (I thought it was “Climate Change” these days, Dan. Which is it?) Here’s what I actually said on the matter, so the world can see how intellectually dishonest you are, Mr. Slott:

There is no doubt that the climate “changes.” The question is: How big of a role does man play? Is it big enough to warrant the redistribution of wealth — to the tune of hundreds of billions of dollars — from the private sector to a bureaucratic Leviathan? Answer: No. Is shaving a few degrees off computer models that even the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change now admits are flawed worth the price in individual liberty? Of course not.

And then there was Trayvon Martin:

Here’s what I actually said, to show how intellectually dishonest Dan Slott is:

I don’t know if Zimmerman is “guilty.” Guilty of what? Murder 2?

An act is “imminently dangerous to another and demonstrating a depraved mind” if it is an act or series of acts that: a person of ordinary judgment would know is reasonably certain to kill or do serious bodily injury to another, and is done from ill will, hatred, spite, or an evil intent, and is of such a nature that the act itself indicates an indifference to human life.

I would say there is plenty of reasonable doubt. You? You apparently think that Zimmerman hunted this guy down in cold blood in “Rambo” fashion and deserves to go to prison. You also seem to have an endless list of excuses for a high school kid punching a man in the face. I can honestly say that if I was walking through a neighborhood late at night and an adult asked me what the heck I was doing I would not punch him in the face.

And finally, my post: ‘Is Dan Slott’s ‘Superior Spider-Man’ really a Superior anti-Semite?’ Read it. Read the whole thing and make your own decision if Dan Slott is being intellectually honest. If you’re busy, here’s the takeaway line:

The guy who “just” came within inches of an extinction level event because he hated all of humanity is now housed in Peter Parker’s body. And fans “love” the story. It’s what brought them back to the book. Congrats Mr. Slott, those are the kinds of winners I want giving me high fives and pats on the back at comic conventions…

Poor Slott Bakula — he can never reunite with Al in the future because every time he tries to right wrongs…he’s the one who is wrong.

Dan Slott: I treated Peter Parker like a ‘meat puppet,’ but ‘Learning to Crawl’ will respect his history

February 14, 2014February 14, 2014by Douglas Ernst67 Comments

Dan Slott has spoken to the Associated Press about the return of Peter Parker, and the news service has dutifully played its role as Marvel’s mouthpiece — the perfect interview for a guy who prefers Orwellian message boards for critics of his work. Strangely enough, the guy who gleefully treated Peter Parker like a “meat puppet” for over a year now wants to assure fans that as he messes with the character’s earliest history he will do so in a way that “lovingly respects” the canon.

The Associated Press reports:

Dan Slott, who has been writing Spider-Man for Marvel since 2008, said the new story not only pays homage to the first 1962 appearance of the Stan Lee and Steve Ditko-created character, but peels back more layers of what was going on in the first volume of the 700-issue “The Amazing Spider-Man,” which began in March 1963.

“When you’re looking at things in those issues, you’re going: ‘Wait a minute! How did this happen? How did he get this? Where did this come from? Why didn’t Aunt May ever wonder about that?'” he said.

The five-part story titled “Learning To Crawl” starts May 7 with “Amazing Spider-Man” 1.1 and concludes in September with issue 1.5. Slott is writing the interlude with art by Ramón Pérez. Artist Alex Ross has painted each of the story’s five covers. …

“You start looking at it closer and closer and you go, ‘There’s a story here that we’re not seeing,'” he said. “A very pivotal and crucial story that lovingly respects everything that went on but tells you more, so much more about Spider-Man and so much more about Peter Parker.”

Do you remember when Dan Slott’s Superior Spider-Frankenstein went exactly where critics said it would — “Nazi-like” torture, I believe Bleeding Cool called it? Do you remember when Dan Slott’s body-snatching rapist was confirmed in issue #22 of Superior Spider-Man, and the type of person who crawled out of the woodwork to defend it was of the “it’s not rape if the perpetrator doesn’t climax” persuasion?

“I’m wondering if all the Ock- is-a-rapist whiners ever even read the issue? It’s clear two pages later Otto is berating his minions for “interrupting him at the worst possible time” which implies the deed wasn’t completed.” — Rick

Marvel has itself a brand new fan base on its hands. I suppose these days they probably let guys get Spider-Man subscriptions behind prison bars, so what does it matter to them? (When sales are all you’re after, who cares if Mr. “the deed wasn’t completed” is touting the book.)

Over the past few years the “brain trust” at Marvel:

Destroyed Peter’s marriage.
Had the deal with the devil (for all intents and purposes) go down.
Had him treated like a meat puppet when a megalomaniac took over his body.
Lowered the IQ of the supporting cast by about 30 points in order to appease people who like their Spider-Man fresh off a quest to kill six billion people.

Now ask yourself: Do you really expect Dan Slott to “lovingly” respect Peter Parker’s past? If you need help answering, look to his Twitter feed:

“If you write serialized stories, it’s not your job to make the reader happy. Your job is to captivate & entertain them. You’re Scheherazade” — Dan Slott

Let’s run with that, shall we? If Dan Slott believes his job is not to “make people happy,” wouldn’t it stand to reason that his job is also not to make people angry? If so, why were his stories pitched as creative endeavors that would “get you angrier than you were after Spidey #700!”? He’s just fine with making long-time readers angry if it will fuel sales, but making them “happy”? What kind of fool does that?

Dan Slott and Marvel decided they would fuel sales by tapping into fan anger, which is rather sad.

In truth, Dan Slott has nothing in common with a character from ‘Arabian Nights.’ He’s much closer to Celia Gimenez:

Dan Slott’s work on Spider-Man is reminiscent of the woman who tried to restore a 19th-century fresco of Jesus and turned it into an abomination. The finished product isn’t popular because it is beautiful, but because it is so incredibly weird and bizarre.

Impressed? Dan Slott’s fresco will also include a new villain:

“He’s got his first villain who is his own age, someone that he’s inspired. … He’s a troubled teen hero fighting a troubled teen villain!” Slott said.

Let’s hope that Marvel can do better than “Freak” this time.

Dan Slott has shown that he only respects the history of Peter Parker that he likes, and furthermore his”loving” affection is for his interpretation of that history. Unfortunately, that interpretation is steeped in moral relativism.

If you are a betting man, I would not put money on “Learning To Crawl” to remotely come close to returning Peter Parker’s respectability.

Dan Slott’s Superior Spider-Man: Body-snatching rapist confirmed in issue 22

December 4, 2013September 18, 2015by Douglas Ernst78 Comments

In December of 2012 I examined what it would mean if Dan Slott’s body-snatching Spider-Man slept with Mary Jane under false pretenses. If I had a twin brother, pretended to be him in the dark, and slept with his groggy wife I would be a monster. Likewise, if Doctor Octopus — living a lie in Peter Parker’s body — sleeps with a woman, for all intents and purposes he is a rapist. These are uncomfortable truths, but truths we must face because this is the state of the comic book industry in 2013.

With Superior Spider-Man 22, Dan Slott’s creation goes full body-snatching rapist. Didn’t anyone ever tell Mr. Slott and Marvel’s editors never to go full-rapist? (i.e., They could have “merely” kept it to Doctor Octopus pleasuring himself — in Peter’s body — to thoughts of Mary Jane.)

Chris from Spider-Man Crawlspace reviews the issue:

[W]hile I have seen stories in which bad guys have used stolen bodies to get laid (the Buffy-Faith body swap is the example I can think of right now), I don’t think I’ve ever seen a romantic relationship in such a scenario unfold naturally over the long term quite like the relationship between “Peter” and Anna Maria. After months of development, that relationship reaches a new stage in this issue, as the art and dialogue strongly imply that the two began to have sex until they were interrupted by “Peter” being called to action as Spider-Man. Obviously, obtaining consent through deception makes Otto despicable. Earlier in this run, it seemed like practically every online discussion regarding Superior Spider-Man I came across was dominated by anxiety over whether Otto, impersonating Peter, would sleep with Mary Jane, and whether such an event would constitute rape. Curiously, I have not seen the same online fervor now that Otto has actually done this to someone. People in the comments section, can you help me figure out why that is?

Indeed, Chris. Asking: “Here, now? Are you sure?” and then having Anna Maria reply “Yes. I’m not wasting a moment either…” is more than a strong implication. Those two glowing jellyfish attempting to tangle themselves together in the background as Anna says “while we have the chance,” seem to seal the deal.

Sadly, there are readers who just don’t get it. “Hairychap” weighs in to answer Chris’ inquiry — and fails miserably:

“Sleeping with Anna isn’t taking advantage of a pre-existing relationship established by Peter, heck she never even meet Peter before he was Ock.”

It’s a good thing we don’t live in a world where real body-snatchers or telepaths exist because inevitably it would be populated with “Hairychaps”… Regardless, here are a few reasons for Chris why he hasn’t seen the online furor that was displayed at the start of Superior Spider-Man:

Readers have had nearly a year of experience with this “Superior” Spider-Man and aren’t shocked anymore. He blew off a guy’s face at point-blank range, the supporting characters act as if they’ve been lobotomized in order to keep the debacle going, and even Bleeding Cool was forced to call out Marvel on the “nazi-like” torture scene approved for the annual.
Dan Slott has admitted that he turned Peter Parker into a “meat puppet.” There really isn’t much else to say. At some point Mr. Slott (consciously or unconsciously) decided to come clean. Once a writer says that a character is being used as a “meat puppet,” there’s really nothing left for readers to expose. All they can do is reiterate how awful the editorial decisions on the book are.
Dan Slott makes weirdly veiled legal threats when people who give his work hard-nosed critiques, sends his Twitter followers to block people, and generally throws online tantrums where he proclaims that he’s “done” with the internet and message boards — before coming back hours later. One of my favorite Dan Slott memories is when I started talking about Superior Spider-Man at Comicvine and he decided it was the appropriate time to discuss my writings on … Trayvon Martin.
Remember Marvel’s Orwellian comments section, where tactful comments went down the Mighty Marvel Memory Holes when they hit a nerve? I do.
It’s the holiday season. People are spending time with their family, Christmas shopping and eating good food. Most websites see a dip in traffic this time of year. My guess is that the kind of people who understand the moral bankruptcy of Superior Spider-Man are also the kind of people who check out from online message boards during November-December.
Perhaps Crawlspace might have a problem replying to inquiries regarding its comments section? There is one person who would like to comment on the rape situation over at Crawlspace, but can’t — me. I used to be able to comment there, but on July 22 that stopped. Below is a screenshot of my email to the website. (In full disclosure, I haven’t checked since July since there wasn’t a response to my inquiry.)

Dear Sir,

I’ve been trying to post in your comments section, but have been unable to for some reason. I was wondering if there is a glitch in the system or if I’ve been banned for some sort of breach of etiquette I was unaware of (I haven’t used foul language or attacked other individuals in the comments section).

I tried to comment in both Firefox and Safari and neither of those worked. [Any] insight you can give me would be appreciated. I enjoy your podcasts and updates and would like to comment, if possible.

Best,

Doug

It’s interesting that I never received a reply.

Regardless, the reason why Chris sees less “anxiety” these days is because people are resigned to the fact that Dan Slott has done vast amounts of damage to the Spider-Man brand. They’re really just waiting for the day when a new creative team can come in and pick up the pieces.

How much lower can this title go? I’ll let you know in the months ahead.

Bleeding Cool calls out Dan Slott’s creation — a ‘Nazi-like’ Superior Spider-Man

November 22, 2013September 15, 2014by Douglas Ernst47 Comments

In May, I broke down for readers what, exactly, it would mean to have a megalomaniac body-snatching Spider-Man running around in Peter Parker’s body. Dan Slott’s creation, on the cusp of enacting a world-wide Holocaust, in which 6 billion lives were meant to perish, proclaimed he would be a “mass murderer worse than Pol Pot, Hitler, and Genghis Khan combined!” What followed was months of Dan Slott following me around the internet, haranguing me for using that line as a springboard for discussion, as well as using an actual image of the Holocaust in the process.

I asked: What is more offensive: Dan Slott’s indiscriminate use of incendiary names, or my reminder of the implications of his indiscriminate use of incendiary names? I never really received an answer. Is it too early to say “vindicated”?

Bleeding Cool calls out the Super Spider-Man’s “Nazi-like” nature, which is on display in the Annual Superior Spider-Man.

Because we have seen in the regular title, Spider-Man, now possessed fully by Doc Ock, trying to be a better man. He’s not trying to take over the world, he’s not trying to steal, he is trying to be a superhero. He is vicious, he makes different decisions, he has killed, but he saves people – both those close to him, and large numbers of strangers. His motives are positive, if warped by his previous nature.

In today’s Superior Spider-Man, the character goes a little further. Into full blown Nazi-like torture/experimentation on his victims. By ripping out teeth and fingernails…

How will Dan Slott react?

This is the “Spider-Man” Marvel gives readers in 2013.

This is Dan Slott’s creation. We reap what we sow.

There are moment’s in a man’s life where he says something that gives us a glimpse into his soul. Dan Slott’s Doctor Octopus — moments from wiping out humanity — did such a thing. Dan Slott put the words into his mouth. Now, even Bleeding Cool is acknowledging that a character who tortures his victims by pulling out their fingernails and teeth does, indeed, have quite a bit in common with the Nazis. Superior Spider-Man? More like Dan Slott’s Frankenstein. And no amount of feigned outrage by Dan Slott regarding the memories of his ancestors can change that.

Given one of the most iconic characters of all time, Dan Slott honors his ancestors by creating a “Spider-Man” who tortures his victims in the name of “science.” Telling.

Hat Tip: The Colossus of Rhodey

Dan Slott: I love Peter Parker so much I turned him into a ‘meat puppet’

October 13, 2013January 16, 2014by Douglas Ernst122 Comments

The New York Comic Con is on, which means that comic fans get to view internet photo galleries of beautiful Cosplay ladies dressed as Power Girl, and Peter Parker fans get to read Dan Slott interviews where he inadvertently telegraphs to the world what he really thinks of the character.

Caps-lock abusing Dan teased things to come for Superior Spider-Man this weekend, and his state of mind couldn’t be clearer. ‘The Superior Freaky Friday Spider-Man’ takes on the Green Goblin in the months ahead, but before they clash Dan Slott wanted to set the record straight for posterity: He is the guy whose editorial judgment was so sound he decided to let a megalomaniac use Peter Parker as a “meat puppet.”

From CBR News:

CBR: We know what the Green Goblin meant to Peter Parker, but what does he mean to Otto Octavius?

Dan Slott: I don’t want to give stuff away. You’ll have to wait and see, but one thing to keep in mind is Doc Ock killed Spider-Man, took his life, and carried on. So he’s had the ultimate victory over Spider-Man.

When you look at the rankings, I’m sorry but everything he’s done from the “Dying Wish” arc of “Amazing Spider-Man” on moves him up in the rankings. Norman Osborn is like, “Ha! I threw your girlfriend off a bridge.” And Dock Ock could reply, “You know what? I RIPPED HIS BRAIN OUT OF HIS SKULL, PUT MY MIND INSIDE, AND WORE HIM LIKE A MEAT PUPPET! TOP THAT!” [Laughs] So at some point you go, “You know, I think Doc Ock might just be the #1 Spider-Man villain of all time.” It’s like, “Suck it Goblin!”

Slow clap for Dan Slott. He is actually proud of allowing Peter Parker to be treated like a “meat puppet.” If you take to blogs, twitter and other comic forums to voice displeasure with his Peter Parker meat puppetry, he mocks you. Question for long time Peter Parker fans: Did you ever think things would reach this point?

How do you top that? In Dan Slott’s mind, one would assume that making Peter Parker into The Green Goblin might be an option. There are probably all sorts of dastardly things one could do to Aunt May that could “top” it, but do we really want to go there? Anti-heroes are still, on some level, supposed to be heroes, and if Dan Slott thinks Doc Ock can exist as one in Peter Parker’s body for such an extended period of time, what now constitutes a villain?

Read the full interview and you can’t help but notice that Mr. Slott seems to have concluded that if he can’t generate sales by uniting all Spider-Man fans (those who love Peter Parker and those who really just want to see someone in the costume swinging around the city with spider-powers), he’ll do so by creating events that a.) have far-reaching implications for the entire Marvel Universe, and b.) tormenting readers. People filled with anger and people filled with inspiration can be moved to action, but it is much easier to upset readers than to uplift them — hence, Superior Spider-Man.

Again, the question becomes: Where do you go from here? At some point in time Peter Parker will have to come back, and a poor writer will have to figure out a way to undo the damage. Dan Slott’s work on Spider-Man is reminiscent of the woman who tried to restore a 19th-century fresco of Jesus and turned it into an abomination. The finished product isn’t popular because it is beautiful, but because it is so incredibly weird and bizarre.

Dan Slott is the Celia Gimenez of the comic book industry, even if he doesn’t realize it yet.

NPR fresco — Dan Slott’s work on Spider-Man can be compared to the Spanish woman who took the 19th-century fresco of Jesus (Ecce Homo or Behold the Man) and turned it into something so strange people had to notice. How will anyone return the fresco to its original beauty? How will a writer return Peter Parker to his rightful place of glory in the Marvel Universe?

If you are a fan of Peter Parker, I high suggest taking to social media platforms to let your voice be heard. There are few comic book characters that can be considered American cultural icons, but Peter Parker is one of them. When the history books are recorded, it should be a mark of shame upon the creative team that allowed him to be treated like a “meat puppet.”

Dan Slott, absent a superior argument, now sics Twitter followers on critics

September 30, 2013October 28, 2014by Douglas Ernst125 Comments

Superior Spider-Man writer Dan Slott has a reputation for not taking criticism well. His online behavior is well known, but now that he has issued marching orders to his followers like Mole Man to his troops, I will calmly and coolly dismantle his online rant for posterity.

An online critic is trying to weasel out of the time he implied that I (a Jew) was adding an antiSemitic element to my book.

Actually, no, I’m not. I’ve always been right here. The problem is that Dan Slott has never commented on my blog, sent me a direct message or asked for my email address to discuss his grievance. Instead, he’s followed me around the Internet demanding that I talk to him to about a blog post I wrote in May titled: Is Dan Slott’s ‘Superior Spider-Man’ really a Superior anti-Semite?

In Dan Slott’s mind, analyzing a character who wanted to transcend Hitler, Pol Pot and Ghengis Khan in terms of evil perpetrated upon the world is the same thing as accusing or implying Dan Slott of being anti-Semetic (as if I knew or even cared about his heritage before he brought it up). Reasonable people can separate the two, but Dan Slott can’t. What Dan Slott doesn’t get — in some sense because moral relativism has warped his mind — is that it doesn’t matter what his intentions are if the end result is that a monster worse than Hitler is in Peter Parker’s body.

His first attempt today: Why was I still talking about it? It was “months ago.”

Seriously, why am I so upset that he took one word balloon out of context and built up an entire FALSE blog entry about it? In his mind It shouldn’t matter to me that he ran that REPREHENSIBLE piece and then punctuated his point with a picture of Jewish remains being removed from a concentration camp oven.

Dan Slott was the one who made Doc Ock say he wanted to transcend Hitler, Pol Pot and Khan — at the exact moment he was on the brink of causing an extinction-level event. Not me. That context is important. There are certain critical moments in history where a man says something that reveals his true character. Doctor Octopus did just that as six billion lives were on the cusp of experiencing the apocalypse, and I wrote about it. I’m sorry if Dan Slott doesn’t like it, or if deep down he knows I’m right.

C’mon. I should drop it. Even though the article is STILL up at his site and he has NEVER apologized for it.

Dan Slott’s demand for an apology is based on the false premise that I thought or wanted people to think he was an anti-Semite.

His latest attempt today: The title of his blog raised a QUESTION. It ended in a question mark. It didn’t say I was promoting antiSemitism in a comic book. It only ASKED if I was. Therefore… It’s okay. I mean, don’t we live in a society where anyone is free to broach ANY question?

I don’t think he understands what the word “implying” means.

Poor Dan, the title was posed as a question — and then I answered the question: “Otto didn’t want to kill millions of Jews — he “merely” wanted to kill six billion people, which would just so happen to include all the Jews. Silly me. The guy who “just” came within inches of an extinction level event because he hated all of humanity is now housed in Peter Parker’s body.”

Yes, it’s pretty clear to everyone but Dan Slott what I did. He just doesn’t like it, so instead he’ll follow me around the internet demanding that I apologize to him. He’ll make it personal by invoking his Jewish faith over and over, and when a moderator doesn’t like what he’s done Mr. Slott will sic his 39K Twitter followers on me.

That blog entry, with the one word balloon taken out of context, the bizarre semantic gymnastics he makes to posit his “question,” and the graphic photo of the remnants of people I share ancestry with being shoveled out of an oven in Dachau– was put together by this unscrupulous person for NO other reason than TO imply I had antiSemitic leanings.

Again, I never did that. “Semantic gymnastics” is Dan Slott’s euphemism for “writing that doesn’t lend itself to Dan Slott’s personal attacks.”

The point of the piece was to show that Dan Slott’s “anti-hero” is in fact a monster worse than Hitler, Pol Pot and Khan. Want proof he doesn’t get it? Dan Slott used a Newsarama interview to compare a character who almost wiped out the entire earth to … Hawkeye.

“At his core, he’s someone we don’t really think of as heroic. But is he any more annoying than [former villain] Hawkeye used to be?” (Dan Slott).

That is how steeped in moral relativism Dan Slott is.

He used Godwin’s Law, the laziest and most offensive “debate” tactic, to compare someone you don’t like to Hitler & the Nazis. Why? Because he’s upset over Spider-Man comic books. IT’S SHAMEFUL. And to try to semantically weasel out of it is DOUBLY SHAMEFUL.

What is more offensive: Dan Slott’s indiscriminate use of incendiary names or my reminder of the implications of his indiscriminate use of incendiary names?

Dan Slott drops the Hitler card in his comic book as a throwaway line, and then gets upset when someone doesn’t take it as a throwaway line. Dan Slott takes his Jewish ancestry seriously, and yet he just casually has Otto say he wants to transcend three of the most reviled men in history? Interesting…

If you follow my feed and wish to show support, please block @douglasernst. And please do not give his blog ANY hits.

If you follow @douglasernst and are offended by this entry, please let me know so I can block you. I don’t want anything to do with anyone who feels fine supporting a person who would do this, leave it up on his site for months– and worse– try to walk it off as nothing wrong.

The internet can be a wonderful tool for meeting people around the world and sharing thoughts and experiences with them. It can also be a way to spread hate and distortions.

Hate? Dan Slott has called me “a bad person” multiple times now. I generally reserve that term for people who abuse their children, rape women and murder people. You know … guys like Hitler. Dan Slott? His moral relativism allows him to put me in the “bad person” category with the rest of them because I wrote a blog post he disagrees with.

Using Dan Slott’s logic, I should go ballistic on all of my friends over the years who have made Catholic jokes. My faith is incredibly important to me, but yet I don’t go around calling people “bad” because they occasionally jabbed at a part of me that I hold dear. I deal with it like an adult. He should try it sometime.

One of my most prized possessions are antique clay pipes from Masada that my uncle, a rabbi, gave me for my Bar Mitzvah. I may not be a diligent or observant Jew as an adult, but I look at those pipes and it reminds me that for the grace of my ancestors overcoming great hardships and prejudices, neither I nor my family would be here today.

That’s touching, but it does nothing to change the fact that one of the most iconic superheroes ever is now a character who wanted to exterminate humanity.

The thought of someone trying to tarnish my reputation by DISTORTING one line of dialogue I’d written– and using it to portray me as someone who would promote antiSemitism SICKENS me. The fact that same person won’t own up to it– and worse– would try to rationalize it away– just fills me with sorrow that someone who could do that even exists. And when it’s all done to score internet-points over a comic book? That just makes it even more pathetic.

Sad? Dan Slott doesn’t realize that a comic book can be much more than a comic book. When I was a kid my brother let me read ‘Maus’ by Art Spiegelman. I suggest giving it a read right now if you’ve never heard of it. Mr. Spiegelman — unlike Dan Slott — would never have Doctor Octopus just casually mention Hitler in one line of dialogue. If Doctor Octopus was moments away from exterminating all of humanity and he uttered Hitler’s name, it would mean something. Every word would be there for a reason.

Dan Slott doesn’t feel sickness and sorrow because I’m wrong; he feels those things because the truth can cut deep. Every word is precious to a good writer, and “one line of dialogue” is never just “one line of dialogue.” It is not my fault that Mr. Slott chose to use Hitler’s name in such a careless and haphazard manner if his ancestry is that important to him.

I’m taking an internet break for a while and talking to real people– people I can look in the eye. Sorry for the long vent. Had to get that off my chest.

Cathartic, isn’t it Mr. Slott? It’s kind of like someone venting after a writer kills off one of the most culturally significant comic book characters of all time and replaces him with a megalomaniac.

Here's a screenshot of Dan's tweet to his 39K followers with his re-tweet of my blog entry (which has since been deleted). But here's the rub: the internet is forever. — Here’s a screenshot of Dan’s tweet to his 39K followers with his re-tweet of my blog entry, which has since been deleted. Here’s the rub: the internet is forever.

And finally:

Dan Slott, the guy who chases people around the internet demanding they apologize for ... an implication ... writes notes to himself that he should never apologize to anyone. Classic. — Dan Slott chases people around the internet, demanding they apologize to him for perceived slights, and never stops to think that maybe (just maybe) the notes he writes to himself are subconscious attempts to clue him in on some serious projection issues.

Now Dan’s fans are taking a cue from him, where they can attack me over at Comic Vine because they don’t want to come here. You’d think if a guy was going to go to all the trouble to Photoshop my name into a panel, then he’d at least spell my name correctly. ‘Doulas’? Seriously?

The poor guy couldn't even spell 'Douglas' in his little personal attack panel that he posted at Comic Vine. Sad. — The poor guy couldn’t even spell ‘Douglas’ in his little personal attack panel that he posted at Comic Vine. Sad.

Big Bang Theory delivers punishing blow to Superior Spider-Man; Dan Slott feigns delight

September 28, 2013September 30, 2013by Douglas Ernst49 Comments

Do the writers of The Big Bang Theory read this blog? If not, it appears as though we’re on the exact same wavelength when it comes to Dan Slott’s Superior Spider-Man.

Here is what I said on February 1st after Dan Slott stalked “The Main Event” and got intellectually body slammed:

“It was only a few weeks ago that Dan Slott thought long-time Spider-Man fans would be okay reading a rip-off of 2003′s “Freaky Friday” starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan — only with Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus. (Or was that 1988′s “Vice Versa” starring Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage?)“

Dan Slott’s general response to me over the course of Superior Spider-Man has been to call me an idiot multiple times while abusing the caps-lock button, to call me a “bad person,” and to try and link me with some guy I don’t even know who writes fan fiction Spider-Man porn.

Now, take the most recent episode of The Big Bang Theory:

Howard: What were they thinking putting Doctor Octopus’ mind in Peter Parker’s body?

Raj: I’ve been quite enjoying that. It combines all the superhero fun of Spider-Man with all the body-switching shenanigans of ‘Freaky Friday.’

Dan Slott’s reaction? Feigned joy.

Let me spell it out for Mr. Slott and everyone else who keeps saying “Raj likes the Superior Spider-Man”: The reality is that the writers just made a joke that cut deep — at Dan Slott’s expense.

When a character on a television says he loves Superior Spider-Man because it reminds him of the “shenanigans of ‘Freaky Friday,” it is the equivalent of a Little Mac power punch to Mike Tyson on the old school NES. Correction: a Little Mac power punch to Glass Joe.

Howard asks “What were they thinking?” and the response — accentuated by the laugh track — was that Marvel killed off Peter Parker for what is essentially a rehashed version of Freaky Friday. Congratulations. Freaky Friday grossed $110 million dollars, so using the ‘Slott Rule’ for success, we only have to wait a few more decades before people realize the genius of Lindsay Lohan’s portrayal of Anna Coleman.

As I’ve said before, I believe there is room in the Marvel Universe for Doctor Octopus to play the “Superior Freaky Friday Spider-Man.” I am not opposed to having a megalomaniac running around New York with spider-powers. I just think that executing Peter Parker (twice) so that Dan Slott could make Jamie Lee Octavius everyone’s favorite wall crawler was an error of monumental proportions.

Ask yourself this question, Spider-Man fans: Knowing what you know about how Dan Slott conducts himself on message boards, how would he respond if someone said that they hated Superior Spider-Man because it was little more than ‘Freaky Friday’ with Marvel characters? Now ask yourself why he took to Twitter to feign admiration for a joke told at his expense. Perhaps because it’s a little more dangerous to mock and ridicule the writers of The Big Bang Theory than it is to personally attack the average fan? Hmmm.

Thank you, writers of The Big Bang Theory, for delivering a KNOCK OUT blow to this abomination.

Update: Someone over at ComicVine shared my blog post. Dan Slott has decided that personal attacks and weird discussions on Trayvon Martain and Ben Shapiro would be appropriate instead of actually discussing Superior Spider-Man.

“Douglas Ernst was clearly in the wrong– and horribly offensive– in the WORST way a human being could possibly be. He has NEVER apologized for that BASELESS, DISGUSTING, and REPREHENSIBLE attack. He has stuck to his guns that he was in the right for doing this TERRIBLE and ATROCIOUS thing. Douglas Ernst is a bad person. Plain and simple. Why you people give him the time of day here I’ll never know,” (Dan Slott).

It’s good to know “All-Caps” Dan Slott dislikes me so much that he … reads my commentary on legal cases like the Trayvon Martin case.

Speaking of legal issues, Dan Slott is now making weirdly veiled legal threats in my direction. Dan Slott stifles debate? Who would ever get that idea?

“If someone, like you, who is in the habit of spreading gross falsehoods about me online, I am interested to see if any of them rise to the level of being liable and actionable,” (Dan Slott).

Side note: Here’s Slott’s tweet after (one would assume, given the timing) reading this post. All press is good press, right? Even if writers are mocking your product, who cares if the attention will bring in more sales. Sad.

Dan Slott and Marvel’s Orwellian message boards can’t hide the truth: Fans want Peter Parker

July 26, 2013April 22, 2014by Douglas Ernst167 Comments

Anyone who has read George Orwell’s ‘1984’ is familiar with the Ministry of Truth and its “memory holes,” those fabulous tubes that get rid of pesky realities for the good of The Party. Anyone who has ever frequented the Spider-Man section of the Marvel message boards for any length of time knows that Ministry of Truth is alive and well, deleting comments that draw metaphorical blood from the monster that is Superior Spider-Man — or its creator Dan Slott.

Lucky, the Brotherhood exists … and proof of it can been seen in the search engine terms being used online each day by countless Peter Parker fans.

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. Doctor Octopus is Spider-Man. It doesn’t have to be that way.

This blog is on pace to have roughly 25,000 page views for the month of July. The individuals who get here search any number of topics, from liquid fluoride thorium reactors to Navy SEALS, weightlifting advice to the national debt. However, readers also get here because they care about the character Spider-Man. I have taken one search result from each day this month in order to highlight what many Spider-Man fans are thinking:

July 31: “Is Peter Parker coming back?”

July 30: “When will Superior Spider-Man end?”

July 29: “Dan Slott should be fired”

July 28: “Will Peter Parker return?”

July 27: “Superior Spider-Man ending”

July 26: “Dan Slott is an asshole”

July 25: “Why Dan Slott ruined Spider-Man”

July 24: “Dan Slott is an asshole”

July 23: “Bring back Peter Parker”

July 22: “Will Peter Parker return as Spider-Man?”

July 21: “Dan Slott sucks”

July 20: “Fire Dan Slott Superior Spider-Man”

July 19: “Superior Spider-Man people are pissed”

July 18: “Can Marvel make Spider-Man good again?”

July 17: “Bring back Peter Parker”

July 16: “Why Dan Slott doesn’t want Peter Parker returns?”

July 15: “Dan Slott hates Peter Parker”

July 14: “Bring back Peter Parker”

July 13: “Dan Slott sucks”

July 12: “Why does everyone hate Dan Slott now?”

July 11: “When is Superior Spider-Man ending?”

July 10: “Bring back Peter Parker”

July 09: “I hate the Superior Spider-Man”

July 08: “When is superior spider-man going to end?”

July 07: “Idiots killed off Spider-Man”

July 06: “Sick of Superior Spider-Man”

July 05: “The Superior Spider-Man sucks ass”

July 04: “Will Peter Parker come back?”

July 03: “When is Peter Parker coming back?”

July 02: “Will Peter Parker come back?”

July 01: “I hate Dan Slott”

Here is a screenshot from the July 21 to give you an idea of what WordPress bloggers see on the back end. (Side note: I love that people are now searching ‘Harold and Kumar Get Droned’ because it was a piece of satire I wrote on Kal Penn’s hypocrisy that appears to have taken on a life of its own).

These are only a fraction of the search terms available, but even if I included the others a pattern becomes clear: There are a lot of dissatisfied fans out there who want Peter Parker back and many of them are not happy with Dan Slott.

Search Engine stats tell us exactly why the moderator for the Marvel boards has a penchant for deleting posts when they come from someone who might be perceived as Dan Slott’s intellectual “superior.” Search engine stats tell us why Dan Slott must turn to the moderators at Comic Book Resources and ask them to shut down the debate when he can’t goad guys like me into saying something that would get us banned.

“This whole topic has become abhorrent. Can the mods please close this thread? This has already gotten far more attention than it deserves,” (Dan Slott)

Search Engines stats are why the moderator at Newsarama shut me down — and then shut down all comments when strangers came to my defense.

And finally, search engines give us a clue as to why, perhaps, Dan Slott was a no-show at the San Diego Comic-Con for the Superior-Spider-Man panel. I suggest you watch it, if only to see 33 minutes of pure awkwardness. (At one point fans had to be asked to show their excitement for the book three times because the first two efforts sounded like a room full of kids being told to eat re-fried beans out of the can.) Dan Slott “phoned in” his participation towards the end, and when someone said they couldn’t relate to the Superior Spider-Man because Otto was essentially “Jerk Spider-Man,” the response by Mr. Slott and Steve Wacker was essentially: “The book is awesome! … Want to hear Dan Slott’s impression of J. Jonah Jameson?”

In the end, there will always be many more comic book fans than there are Peter Parker fans. That is why Dan Slott likes to talk about sales. And that is why when intelligent people start mulling over the actual merits of the book (e.g., How is this any different from turning the Red Skull into Captain America and then trying to pass it off as creative genius?) their comments go down the Mighty Marvel Memory Hole.

Rolling Stone put a real terrorist on the cover of its magazine, a lot of people got upset, and sales went up 20 percent. Dan Slott turned a fictional terrorist into Spider-Man, a lot of people got upset, and sales are up. Sales are not the sole litmus test for success, and they certainly aren’t the litmus test for decency. Hopefully, by offering you a glimpse into the search terms people use to get to this blog, your confidence will be renewed that there are plenty of fans out there who are not happy with the state of Spider-Man in 2013.

History will not judge this era of Spider-Man comic books kindly. In time a writer with true vision will come along who will unite ardent fans of Peter Parker, those with no particular loyalties who are just looking for an interesting tale — and yes, the lowest common denominator — who will buy anything as long as it says Spider-Man on the cover. And when that happens and sales skyrocket the world will see Dan Slott for what what he truly was, which was certainly not a good steward of one of the greatest characters of all time: Peter Parker.

Dan Slott was a no-show at the San Diego Comic-Con. Maybe when you mouth off to countless fans online you get worried that they might show up to confront you about it. Internet tough guys ... usually aren't in real life. — Dan Slott was a no-show at the San Diego Comic-Con. Maybe when you mouth off to countless fans online you get worried that they might show up to confront you about it. Internet tough guys … usually aren’t in real life.