Batman is not gay, but Grant Morrison is liberal

When liberal writer Grant Morrison links sexual deviance to gay men it’s no big deal. If a conservative comic book writer did that he’d never get to work in the industry ever again. But hey, have fun writing The Caped Sandusky, Mr. Morrison.

Seemingly out of nowhere, writer Grant Morrison decided he was going to issue a decree: Batman is gay. Morrison is a powerhouse of a comic book writer, so I assume that he thinks he could start the editorial ball rolling in that direction. And that very well could happen, even if he was eventually given some sort of “alternate universe” gay-Batman story to write. As he told Playboy:

“[Bruce Wayne is] very plutonian in the sense that he’s wealthy and also in the sense that he’s sexually deviant,” Morrison told the magazine. “Gayness is built into Batman. I’m not using gay in the pejorative sense, but Batman is very, very gay. There’s just no denying it.” … Morrison adds, Batman’s “gayness” is actually part of the character’s near-universal appeal: “I think that’s why All these women fancy him and they all wear fetish clothes and jump around rooftops to get to him. He doesn’t care — he’s more interested in hanging out with the old guy and the kid.”

If Grant Morrison was named John Boehner or Kurt Cameron this story would be plastered on cable news shows for the next 48 hours. Since Grant Morrison has sturdily planted his feet in liberalism’s camp the generally-bigoted explanation he gives will go largely unnoticed.

If a conservative comic book creator coupled sexual deviance and “gayness” there would be hell to pay. When Grant Morrison does it, complete with allusions to what Bruce would do with “The Boy Wonder” … nothing. According to Grant Morrison, Batman really should be called The Caped Sandusky. Where is GLAAD when you need them? Probably monitoring conservative websites, I guess.

Let it be known that Grant Morrison is a guy who pumped himself up with so many drugs in Katmandu that he claims to have had a discussion with hyper-intelligent silver blobs from the fifth-dimension. Perhaps the fifth dimension exists, or…perhaps the trip melted parts of Grant’s brain.

With that said, the universal appeal of Batman doesn’t stem from his sexuality, but from his constant struggles with his inner demons, and his obsessive drive to root out evil. Or, as I said in regards to The Dark Knight Rises:

“Bruce Wayne, like all of us, is fallible. Like many Americans, he doesn’t want to believe that The Batman has to exist, but “he must.” He must because there are evil men.”

Bruce is wealthy, and most people would like to be wealthy. He’s fallible, and all of us are fallible. He’s conflicted, and all of us are conflicted. And he strikes fear into the hearts of of very bad men. What’s not to like?

If you’re still wondering why someone would decide that it would be okay to switch a character’s sexuality out of nowhere, look no further than the writers of Marvel’s Ultimate Spider-Man, who created a half-black, half-hispanic version of the ol’ web head:

Italian artist Sara Pichelli, who was integral in designing the new Spider-Man’s look, says, “Maybe sooner or later a black or gay — or both — hero will be considered something absolutely normal.”

As I said before, it is normal! It’s only not normal when it’s shoved in our faces. It’s only not normal when political points are shoe-horned into a story for no other reason than to make readers adopt a Progressive worldview. Instead of creating a likable gay character with mass appeal, guys like Morrison wish they could just say, “Batman is gay” and have one. It doesn’t work that way, and all it does is annoy people.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to watch The Dark Knight Rises trailer for the 100th time.

Grant Morrison vs. Tim Tebow: Rolling Stone’s Metaphysical Double Standard?

Grant Morrison's "most outlandish thoughts" pay for his existence. He finds it bizarre that "thoughts you may have had in 1994 on an Ecstasy tab can turn into money, which turns into houses, which turns into cat food. It's the Yukon in our brain, it's a gold rush, it's all sitting there, and it's worth money." I wouldn't have it any other way.

“I’m still trying to not sound like an insane person,” says Grant Morrison in his recent interview with Rolling Stone’s Brian Hiatt. One: The article, The Psychedelic Superhero, is amazing. Two: If you don’t know who Grant Morrison is, he’s a comic book writer who happens to be much more than a comic book writer—and generally pretty awesome. Love him or hate him, he is a force.

With that said, I don’t think he’s insane. I’m not an advocate of the lifestyle he leads, per se, but I do not think he’s insane. I do, however, think Rolling Stone and liberal media outlets have a very interesting double standard, though, when it comes to “The Great Beyond.”

Tim Tebow believing in Christ? Crucify him (in print, at least). Begrudgingly acknowledge the guy’s talent, but forward the notion that Christians are all a bunch of dim-witted, racist, bigoted homophobes. Then Youtube something by Christopher Hitchens to wash it all down and assure yourself that anyone who believes in a reality that transcends our five senses’ ability to interpret it is an idiot.

Grant Morrison comes to the very same conclusion—there’s stuff out that’s beyond human comprehension and there’s no way he can prove it—by taking a completely different path, and he’s the coolest guy alive.

Know of any millionaire occultists? You do now:

Morrison hasn’t felt any malevolent presence in his house, but he’s pretty sure he’s met a few demons over the years. Morrison considers himself a magician, and not the rabbits-from-hats kind – magick with a “k” style sorcery. He’s been conducting occult rituals since age 19, summoning various entities and gods and such – ranging from a flaming lion’s head to what he believes to have been the spirit of John Lennon, who he says, gave him a song…

In Katmandu, he had a spiritual experience that has guided his work ever since, a revelatory vision from some kind of fifth-dimensional perspective. He saw the universe from the outside, met silvery blob-like entities who explained the connectedness of all life on Earth. “I felt it was a higher intelligence, and there’s no proof it wasn’t,” he says. “I remember space and time being just a flat surface.”

I have no desire to summon demons or meet silvery blob-like entities; I’m patient. I’m confident I’m going to die (understatement of the year award?), so I won’t be spending my life looking for peepholes into the afterlife. Grant is into that, and more power to him. What irks me is that even among atheists there seems to be an unspoken rule where Christians are zeroed in on and everyone else gets a free pass. Islamic radicals that stone women and kill gay men in the Middle East? Yawn. Comic book artists that look for demons? Eh. Christian guy who thanks God for blessing him with athletic prowess and, more importantly, life? It’s game time, baby! Let’s get this joke parade marching!

Read the entire article (or a few issues of Rolling Stone), and the genesis for the double-standard becomes apparent—it’s all about the politics. Leftist politics will get you a pass every time, whether you’re a Christian, a Buddhist, or an acid-dropping badmammajamma comic book writer.

Still wondering about that Beatles song? Behold:

“I put all the Beatles albums in a circle, wore my clothes from the band, tight trousers, Beatles boots, had a Rickenbacker guitar, and I had ‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ on a loop and I just played it, and I took this tiny lick of acid, just to give an edge. Basically, I got this image, this thing, like a huge Lennon head made out of music. It gave me a song – it’s a pretty convincing John Lennon song.”…

Morrison whips out a guitar and plays the song given to him by the floating Lennon head. “Keep taking the pill/Keep reading the books/Keep looking for signs that somebody loves you,” he sings in a rough tenor. The audience laughs at first, then falls silent. He gets to the bridge – “One and one and one makes two/If you really want it to.” – and the melody suddenly sounds like it could be on the White Album, or at least pass for Oasis.

Ah yes, “One and one and one make two…if you really want it to.” That actually would be true if everyone wanted it to be true. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. What happens in this plane of reality is that some people think that way and what you wind up with is 15 trillion dollars of U.S. debt racked up and no one to pay the bill (in part because they’re not born yet).

While Rolling Stone is generally a liberal-hack rag, they do occasionally do some cool stuff. The Psychedelic Superhero is one such instance. And, truth be told, Grant didn’t get completely off the hook; the “Oasis” line was a bit of a dig… Check it out if you get a chance.

The Man of Steel’s One Weakness: Political Hacks

Is Henry Cavill's Superman the kind that fights for "Truth, Justice, and...All That Stuff", or will he fight for the American Way? The intensity in his eyes says director Zack Synder has the Man of Steel back on track.

The first images of Henry Cavill as Superman are up and about. He looks good. Case closed, which frees us up to ask the more important question: Who is the Man of Steel? Underneath all those bulging biceps—deep down inside—what’s really making him tick? What motivates him? Who is he at the center of his being?

Not too long ago moviegoers were asking the same thing about Captain America, and it turned out that despite the director’s best efforts at self-sabotage, it turned out to be a good film.

Because Superman is an American icon, writers and directors worth their salt need to have a firm grasp on America’s core principles. Superman should exude our highest ideals, which is why doing him “right” is extremely difficult. Placed in the hands of a confused writer or pseudo-intellectual, the character will collapse under his own weight. Writer Grant Morrison (who can be brilliant at times) misses the mark when he says:

“Each decade, these characters represent our own best idea of what we’d like to be, our own big idea…Superman started out as a socialist fighter for the oppressed in 1938, but that was the time of the Depression. In the ’80s, he’s a yuppie,” (H/T Four Color Media Monitor).

Wrong. Only bad writers are so lured by a sign of the time that they’d boil a character down to something that can be summed up in pithy pejoratives or political talking points. Only bad writers mistake universal rights for international opinion. Only bad writing essentially creates FDR’s Superman and Reagan’s Superman. Good writing transcends the kind of political sniping Grant Morrison sets the stage for.

So when Henry Cavill says he wants to “[be] as true as I can be to the original character and who the character is,” someone needs to follow up with the soon-to-be Clark Kent. They need to poke and prod his muscles with something deeper than, “How cool is it to put the big ‘S’ on every morning for work?”

I have confidence that Zack Snyder will do Superman proud. In fact, I would argue that his spot-on understanding of Dr. Manhattan (an awesome, yet cynical, take on what Superman would end up like if he existed) has prepared him for the task. He’s ready.

And now, it’s time to watch Rorschach die in all his awesomeness.