Tag: Amazing Spider-Man

Amazing Spider-Man 1.6: Molina’s story mercifully ends — like Julio’s life

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AG Julio

It’s a tough time to be a fan of The Amazing Spider-Man. Readers regularly must to deal with things like Dan Slott turing the wall-crawler into a living spider-meteor, or telling audiences that Peter Parker’s love for Mary Jane is “anti-Marvel.”  There seems to be no end in sight. The past year has added insult to injury with the addition of Jose Molina’s “Amazing Grace” storyline, which has finally ended with “Part Six: Lead Me Home.”

For those who have not paid attention since the beginning, here is a quick recap:

  • Peter Parker, The Amazing Atheist (on Molina’s watch) becomes obsessed with Julio Manuel Rodriguez. The mystery man died of cancer, returned from the dead, and seemingly performs miracles with his new lease on life.
  • Spider-Man and the Santerians (Julio’s friends) plan to track him down and reveal the truth.
  • Iron Man tells the group that Rodriguez is drawing power from a portal to the spirit world that is located in Harlem.
  • A “showdown” in the city is announced.

ASM 1.6 concludes with the group realizing that a demon has taken up shop in Julio’s body and will draw power from  it until the two are separated. Iron Man informs the group that a gate to the spirit world is opening that must be closed before all hell literally breaks loose.

Uncle Ben’s spirit returns once more to give his atheist nephew some advice about life, death and the nature of God — but the hero wants none of it.

“Unsubscribe,” Peter says before swinging into the fight.

Amazing Grace SpiderMan

AG1.6

 

One of the Santerians eventually break’s Julio’s neck, which causes the portal to close and the demons to disappear. Spider-Man is livid and scolds the team after Julio’s (second) funeral: “Julio was not to be harmed! There’s always another way!”

The fact of the matter is that there is not always another way. As the kids point out to the veteran superhero, “We had 30 seconds before that monster got loose in our world.”

Would it have been nice to have a priest on hand to perform an exorcist? Sure. Would it have been a good idea to call Dr. Strange for some help along the way? Of course. But that didn’t happen, and the Santerians did the best they could in a bad situation.

Peter mocks the group for believing Julio is in a better place, and they shoot back: “After everything you’ve seen…why can’t you?“

The story ends with Peter walking into a church and asking a priest to talk.

PeterParker Priest

The most disappointing thing about “Amazing Grace” is that it had a lot of potential and guys like me should have loved it.

  • Jose Molina is the first writer to seriously address spiritual issues in ASM in years.
  • “Spirit Uncle Ben,” or whatever you want to call him, actually makes some interesting points.
  • Peter Parker goes to a priest — for advice. (Marvel won’t even allow Matt Murdock into a church these days unless its on Netflix.)
  • The Santerians understand a grim reality that law enforcement personnel and soldiers all over the world are all too familiar with: Sometimes a life needs to be taken to save life.

The problem for Mr. Molina, however, is that Peter Parker should have never been portrayed as a militant atheist to begin with. He would have never blamed God for Uncle Ben’s death because he blames himself. Spider-Man was born out of the guilt that Peter felt over Ben’s murder.

I cannot cheer this particular scene, which respectfully broaches issues of faith, because the writer needed to warp Peter Parker’s origin to make it happen.

I hope Mr. Molina learns from this experience and goes on to write some solid comic books down the line, but someone needs a verbal beatdown for putting him on ASM before he was ready. The book was a disaster from start to finish.

Related:

Molina’s Amazing Spider-Man 1.5: Car crash scene a perfect metaphor for story

Molina’s Spider-Atheist: God ‘a lie’ because Uncle Ben died

Molina’s Amazing Spider-Atheist makes mockery of Peter Parker’s history

Molina’s Spider-Man: ‘Amazing Grace’ a sloppy mess

‘Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man #2’: Gage explores ‘self-fulfilling prophecy,’ recidivism, and redemption

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CWII ASMII cover

Marvel’s Civil War II has been a mixed bag of good ideas and poor execution, but writer Christos Gage’s work on the project has generally been a notch above his peers. Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man #2, like the issue before it, highlights just how much potential he has as a writer, even if some elements of the book are rough around the edges.

Here is what you need to know for CWII: ASM 2:

  • Spider-Man, tipped off by Ulysses, defeats a “quintronic man.” (The aftermath features a nice nod to Amazing Fantasy #15.)
  • Clayton Cole (aka, Clash) runs into an old henchman he knows, but rebuffs an offer to talk about working with the Owl.
  • Clayton eats a meal with his parents, who are seemingly rotten people. They tell their son Peter Parker is exploiting his genius, liken Clayton’s beard to a something a homeless man would sport, and say his girlfriend Donna (a single mother who works at Parker Industries as an administrative assistant), is only interested in him for his future earnings.
  • Donna breaks up with Clayton just before he asks her to marry him. She is worried about what will happen when her son learns about his criminal past.
  • Clayton explodes on a coworker and later becomes paranoid (with good reason) when Ulysses and Spider-Man act like gossipy high-school kids around him.
  • Spider-Man catches Clayton using an experimental device that can retroactively track and record sound waves. The two have an argument and Clayton storms off.
  • Mendel Stromm (aka, Robot Master), pitches a heist of Parker Industries to Clayton in a bar for henchmen. The plan is to frame Harry Osborn Lyman.
  • Peter tells Harry in a private meeting that he wants to make amends with Clayton, never realizing that the Tinkerer has been given a request to upgrade Mr. Cole’s “Clash” costume.

I mentioned in my first review that Mr. Gage added more intrigue to ASM in one issue than Dan Slott has in months. The good news is that Mr. Gage continues to creatively cross his ‘t’s’ and dot his ‘i’s’ in ways the head ASM scribe shows no interest in duplicating. The bad news is that as a reader it’s hard to witness Clayton’s behavior and not think, “Is Peter Parker the worst judge of character of all time?”

Consider this: Peter Parker’s ‘very close’ girlfriend tried to kill him, his inner circle lies to him and tries to work with corporate saboteurs, and his biggest investor (and secret santa) was the head of an international terrorist organization. He might want to have Doctor Strange check out that spider-sense one of these days, because it certainly doesn’t work during job interviews…

CWII ASMII

Overall, CWII: ASM #2 does a good job of getting readers to think about how hard it must be for an ex-convict to escape the long shadow of sins past. There is a nuance to Mr. Gage’s message about second chances and redemption that has always been absent from Mr. Slott’s work, and for that he should be commended.

At the end of the day, however, Mr. Cole largely comes across as an unsympathetic character due to his actions and the way artist Travel Foreman depicts his hair-trigger rage (an apology by the character afterwards does little to endear him to readers.)

Mendel Stromm

The best-case scenario for Mr. Cole is that he is using inside knowledge of Mendel Stromm’s attack to his advantage — as a hero. Perhaps he will set-up the villain to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt to Spider-Man and Ulysses that he is a good man. There will likely be confusion along the way  — a brief fight with Spider-Man, which technically will prove Ulysses was correct — but in the end Spider-Man and “Clash” will work together to take down Robot Master.

CWII ASMII SpiderMan

What did you think of CWII: ASM #2? Do you think “Clash” will be back to his villainous ways, or will he redeem himself by double-crossing Robot Master? Let me know in the comments section below.

Editor’s Note: Check out the YouTube page and subscribe if you’re into video reviews and podcasts. I plan on doing a lot more of that in the years ahead.

Amazing Spider-Man #15: Dan Slott’s Regent took down a god, then falls to … Mary Jane

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Mary Jane Iron Spider

It is a good bet that when Marvel writer Dan Slott was a kid that he was the one who always changed the rules of whatever game he was playing with friends. The Amazing Spider-Man #15 is a perfect example of a story crumbling into a schizophrenic mess because the writer altered established realities to get to a desired end.

Readers last left their beloved web-slinger knowing that he and Iron Man were defeated at the hands of Regent. The same villain who defeated a god — She-Thor — Vision, Wolverine, Captain America, Daredevil, Deadpool, Human Torch and countless other superheroes (and villains), also took down Peter Parker and Tony Stark.

Regent has been established as a force to be reckoned with, right? Keep that in mind as we move forward with this review.

Here is what you need to know for ASM #15:

  • The Avengers are defeated. Heroes everywhere are missing. Regent is on the brink of victory.
  • Mary Jane decides to suit up in Peter’s old “Iron Spider” costume because … she once wore an old Iron Man suit and temporarily had spider-powers. Her plan is to take on Regent by herself.
  • Harry Osborn Lyman, captured and contained in one of Regent’s holding tanks, uses new Webware technology that he “just had Clayton [install]” (how convenient) to escape. Sound waves from Harry’s glorified iWatch shatter glass that can hold She-Thor.
  • Peter, encased in a bubble, distracts Regent so Iron Spider-MJ can sucker punch him. The distraction bursts his psychic bubbles and the previously defeated and fatigued Spider-Man springs into action. The three have a déjà vu moment.
  • Spider-Man leaves to save Harry while M.J. and Iron Man continue to fight.
  • Miles Morales is freed and his instant-win venom blast takes out Dr. Stillwell.

Miles Morales ASM 15

  • An army of superheroes are released and Regent acknowledges defeat. He is then confined within his own prison.
  • MJ, Tony, and Jarvis have a private party with champagne (Tony, understandably, does not drink).
  • Peter, the billionaire CEO of Parker Industries, throws a party for his friends … at a coffee shop. Bobbi Morse is introduced to Aunt May and Jay Jameson collapses after coughing up blood.

ASM #15 fails because Dan Slott sets precedents and then disregards them when it suits his needs. He pens stories for an older-skewing audience, but then expects the average reader to accept deviations from established rules like a child.

Regent SheThor

To add insult to injury, fans of the marriage between Peter and Mary Jane are punched in the gut at least twice.

  1. Spider-Man tells Tony: “[Peter] only realized he’d lost MJ after she moved on. You better not make the same mistake.”
  2. Peter essentially introduces Mockingbird to Aunt May as his new girlfriend (Whatever happened to the girlfriend who tried to murder him?)

The fact of the matter is not that Mary Jane “moved on” — it’s that Marvel’s editors and Dan Slott are telling readers to move on.

The message is clear: “Stop spitting up Tom Brevoort’s medicine. Take it. The beatings will continue until morale improves!”

If you want to see some stunning cover art by Alex Ross, then make sure to buy ASM #15.

If you don’t require a writer to stick to his own set of rules as long as characters are punching each other and “zany” hijinks ensue, then buy ASM #15.

If, however, you expect writers to offer creative cohesion and linear logic, which can easily be traced to acceptable premises, then you might want to read Charles Soule’s Daredevil instead.

Dan Slott, confronted on weird behavior, lies about Douglas Ernst Blog — again

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DC Women tweet

Douglas Ernst Blog terrifies and irritates Marvel writer Dan Slott to no end. The man stalks this blog in the wee hours of the morning, keeps tabs on my professional life, and consistently tries to smear me every time someone cites my work.

Your friendly neighborhood blogger walked out of Steven Spielberg’s newest film, The BFG, this afternoon to see traffic spike for a post titled “Dan Slott trolls random woman on Twitter, then has the gall to bash GamerGate supporters.” I knew immediately that a really good Reddit conversation was going on somewhere or that Dan Slott was once again lying about me on Twitter. It turned out to be the latter.

Here is how Mr. Slott responded to the DC Women Kicking Ass blog when its creator called him out for his unprofessional Twitter antics.

Dan Slott dcwomenkicka tw1

Yes, Dan Slott is calling me a “Right Wing extremist” — because a Catholic guy who believes in free markets, a strong national defense and the rule of law somehow equates to extremism in his mind.

As usual, the writer attacks me from afar because the evidence is not in his favor.

Since Mr. Slott knows deep down that a quick internet search can easily prove him wrong, he then goes to his bag of logical fallacies — after “ad hominem” usually comes “poisoning the well.”

In today’s case we have Dan Slott referring to a previous employer I had (for eight months), that has dozens upon dozens of op-ed contributors from across the conservative spectrum — some I vehemently disagree with (e.g., Ann Coulter), and others (like economist Thomas Sowell) who are intellectual giants.

Dan Sott dcwomenkicka tw2

Regardless, I challenge anyone to go through my Twitter feed and find “extreme” work — it’s not there.

Like any writer who works for online magazines or newspapers, I am sometimes given assignments that I dislike, but I always try my best to stick to the principles espoused on this blog. Dan Slott’s insinuation that I’m a “birther” is pathetic, but at this point it is to be expected.

Finally, Dan’s tweet-screed shows that despite being exposed as Slottian misrepresentation at its finest (even CBR readers have called him out on his sad attempts to deflect criticism), he still insists on twisting my response to Peter Parker’s “No One Dies” mantra.

Dan Slott dcwomen3

Dan Slott dcwomenka tw response

Dan Slott says Douglas Ernst Blog “distorts” everything he does, which is weird because a.) I said he hit a “home run” with Renew Your Vows, and b.) his definition of distortion apparently is “quoting a man word for word and linking to the source material whenever available.”

A good example might be that time he said Peter Parker’s love for Mary Jane is “anti-Marvel.”

I quoted the man at length, linked to an hour-long YouTube video, instructed readers to view the entire thing, and he still accused me of taking him “out of context.”

That, dear reader, is “distortion” to Mr. Slott.

Note to Dan Slott: You obviously have learned nothing from the time you stalked The Main Event and then exploited his charity run for Twitter sponge bathes. The guy tore you to shreds, but yet you continue to act like an online buffoon.

Keep talking, Mr. Slott. I will continue to expose your lies. I might even have to do my own YouTube takedown soon. If I can deliver half as well as The Main Event, then I will be happy.

Update: Look who is stalking my blog again (despite blocking me on Twitter) — Dan Slott.

Dan Slott stalking tweet

The name of this website is Douglas Ernst Blog. There is nothing weird about referring to it by its proper name. Anyone who knows about branding understands that. How strange is it that Dan Slott mocks me for being a single person when it is glaringly obvious that my writing is constantly on his mind? What are you going to do, Dan Slott, when I continue to expand my social media presence in the years ahead?

Side Note: Here is a brief glimpse into the mind of Dan Slott’s most ardent supporters. This individual tried to say that Mr. Slott does not resort to ad hominem attacks. When I said that calling me a “Right Wing extremist” is, in fact, an attack on my character his response was that it was “probably” used as a pejorative. Classic.

It was a mere “slight.” That’s all, old chap! Academics and all, you know. Hurrrm.

Dan Slott ad hominem attack

Dan Slott: ‘Politicize the f–k’ out of tragedy, ignore 5th Amendment to strip innocents of rights

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Dan Slott

Marvel writer Dan Slott recently let it be known that he really doesn’t like it when Christians pray after Islamic terror attacks, but this week he made it clear that exploiting raw emotions after a tragedy is good and virtuous — “politicize the f–k” out of such moments were his exact words. He also wants innocent Muslims, Jews, Christians, atheists — all Americans, in fact — to know that it is “crazy” to uphold the 5th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

Due process? Who needs that? Police states are so much more efficient.

Dan Slott no fly list tweet

Men like Dan Slott are political vultures. They swarm around in circles and wait for people to die before tearing at the carcasses. There are millions of Americans who will look at the gruesome spectacle and agree to anything to get it to stop, but luckily there are others who use logic and reason to ensure the blessings of liberty for future generations.

South Carolina Rep. Try Gowdy, for instance, demonstrated after the San Bernardino, California, terrorist attack just how dangerous it would be to deny an innocents their constitutionally protected rights because the government suspects them of a committing a crime.

Mr. Gowdy had the following exchange in December with Kelli Burriesci, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Screening Coordination, Office of Policy of the United States Department of Homeland Security:

Trey Gowdy: Let me ask you a question about the terrorism list. What process is afforded a U.S. citizen — not someone who overstayed a visa, not someone who crossed a border without permission — but an American citizen?  What process is currently afforded an American citizen before they go on that list?

DHS: I’m sorry, there is not a process afforded the citizen prior to getting on the list. There is a process should someone feel they are and unduly placed on the list.

Gowdy: Yes there is. And when I say ‘process,’ I’m actually using half of the term due process, which is a phrase we find in the Constitution — that you cannot deprive people of certain things without due process.

So I understand Mister Goode’s idea, which is wait until you’re right has been taken from you and then you can petition the government to get it back. I understand that that’s his idea. My question is can you name another constitutional right that we have that is chilled until you find out it’s chilled, and then you have to petition the government to get it back? Is that true of the First Amendment?

DHS: Sir, there are strict criteria before anyone gets put on the list.

Trey Gowdy: That’s not my question ma’am. That is not my question. My question is what process is afforded a United States citizen before that person’s constitutional right is infringed? He’s fine when we do it with the Second Amendment. My question is, ‘How about the First?’ How about we not let them set up a website or Google account? How about we not let him join a church until until they can petition the government to get off the list. How about not get a lawyer? How about the Sixth Amendment?

How about you can’t get a lawyer until you petition the government to get off the list? Or my favorite — how about the Eighth amendment? We’re going to subject you to cruel and unusual punishment until you petitioned the government to get off the list.Is there another constitutional right that we treat the same way for American citizens that we do the Second Amendment? Can you think of one? **pause** Can you think of one?

DHS: I don’t have an answer for you, sir.

Ms. Burriesci didn’t have an answer because deep down she knows that Mr. Gowdy is correct.

Do you know who else agrees with Mr. Gowdy and not with comic book writer Dan Slott?

Answer: The American Civil Liberties Union.

“The standards for inclusion on the No Fly List are unconstitutionally vague, and innocent people are blacklisted without a fair process to correct government error,” the ACLU wrote on Dec. 7, 2015. “The government has emphasized that it is making predictive judgments that people like our clients — who have never been charged let alone convicted of a crime — might nevertheless pose a threat. That’s a perilous thing for it to do.”

How would Dan Slott feel if, 50 years from now, Jews in the United States were routinely put on terrorist watch lists because they were merely suspected of crimes? They could not fly, they could not own weapons, and perhaps their 8th Amendment rights were frozen until they could prove they weren’t terrorists.

That sounds pretty scary, right? Not to Dan Slott.

If you think due process is an essential component to living in a free society, then Dan Slott insults you on Twitter. That is because, like I said, he is a political vulture. It may be fitting for a guy who regularly writes about Spider-Man’s villains, but it is not funny.

With that said, I highly suggest listening to Reason’s Remy sing “How to React to a Tragedy,” with Dan Slott in mind. It perfectly lampoons activist-writers like those employed by Marvel.

Editor’s Note: Hat tip to Colossus of Rhodey for bringing attention to Mr. Slott’s tweets.

Amazing Spider-Man #14: Dan Slott puts ‘lipstick on a Regent-pig’

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Regent SheThor

Marvel scribe Dan Slott hit a home run with 2015’s Renew Your Vows, but the feat happened despite the creation of a lame villain — Regent. ASM #14 attempts to once again elevate the character into upper echelons of evil, but one cannot help but think of the old line about putting “lipstick on a pig” while reading. Giuseppe Camuncoli puts forth a worthy effort to make the character look cool in costume (don’t ask about supporting cast), but readers care more about the side-stories than the main event.

Here is what you need to know about ASM #14.

  • Ms. Marvel, Nova, Captain America, Vision, and She-Thor are all captured by Regent.
  • Peter Parker, Tony Stark, and MJ tell Miles Morales’ parents that their son (also taken hostage) won a science contest, but is safe … somewhere … with no internet access … on purpose. (Note: This kind of idea only worked in Captain America: Civil War because Peter Parker wasn’t missing.)
  •  MJ tells Peter, “You have no idea how glad I am to have all of this ‘secret identity’ nonsense out of my life. Tony’s not perfect, but with him everything is out in the open.” (Don’t tell Dan Slott, but that is 180 degrees from the truth — Bendis’ Tony Stark disappears for weeks at a time for undercover missions, and no-one knows if he’s dead or alive.)
  • Aunt May coughs up blood and keeps it from her husband.
  • Harry Osborn Lyman calls for a meeting with Augustus Roman and reveals that he knows the businessman is Regent. Harry says he knows Betty Brant was kidnapped, and then uses webware to warn Spider-Man that he is in danger.
  • Spider-Man and Iron Man are crushed by Regent, whose suit was pushed to its limit.

Even if one were to take the position that Regent is an exciting new character, it doesn’t change the fact that readers are getting a rehashed version of Renew Your Vows less than one year after its publication. At least when Marvel does something as tired and worn out as Aunt May dying…the company waits a few years before hitting the “recycle” button. This is like a rerun of your favorite television show after the first three episodes of its new season.

Aunt May

As is often the case with Mr. Slott’s work, there are a lot of pieces shuffled around the chessboard while ultimately not a whole lot goes on. The story bounces from setup to setup (You’re going to love how this comes together in Dead No More, kids!) while ignoring the attention to detail that makes single issues soar.

For instance, Regent dispatches with heavy-hitting heroes like Vision and Captain America in a single panel. He battles She-Thor in what is teased as an epic clash, only to show her captured in an energy bubble two pages later. It’s jarring. It’s strange, and it just isn’t enough for a relatively new character who is met with indifference by most fans.

Regent

If you are the kind of Marvel fan who has collected ASM since 1975 and don’t want to break up your complete set, then make sure to head on out to your local comic book shop this week. For everyone else, I suggest waiting until the reviews for Dead No More are published before you consider opening up your wallets.

‘Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man #1’: Gage offers reprieve from Slott fare

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Civil War II ASM 1

Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man #1 came out on Wednesday, which gave Marvel fans an opportunity to see how everyone’s favorite wall crawler reacted to the Inhuman prognosticator at its core.  It is safe to say that writer Christos Gage offered more intrigue in a single issue than ASM writer Dan Slott in months.

Here is what you need to know for Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man #1:

  • Peter Parker lands in New York City after a long flight from Shanghai. He crawls into bed at Parker Industries headquarters to take a quick nap and is shocked to find Johnny Storm — naked. He tells Johnny to put some clothes on or “flame on” so he can turn around. The Human Torch reminds Peter that he is scheduled to spend time with Ulysses, the Inhuman who can see and “experience” possible futures.
  • Spider-Man takes down the Vulture and the “Vulturions” over New York City. Ulysses is with the hero.
  • The two men make their way to Chinatown and stop a rage-filled man who was going to murder his ex-girlfriend.
  • Spider-Man tells Ulysses that if he hones his power, then he can help Parker Industries narrow down projects that will make it through the research and development phase — and therefore help a greater number of people.
  • Ulysses takes a tour of Parker Industries and meets Harry Osborn  **cough**Lyman**cough** and Clayton Cole.
  • Ulysses tells Spider-Man that Clayton Cole, aka Clash, will likely revert to his old ways. The Inhuman tells Spider-Man to prepare for an attack.

As I mentioned in the comments section of my review for Civil War II #1, there is incredible danger in fully embracing a man who only sees possible futures. Ulysses actually admits in the issue that his predictions “almost” always come true, but not 100 percent of the time.

What if, simply by allowing doubt to creep into his mind over his employee’s integrity, Peter Parker inadvertently plants the seeds for Mr. Cole’s recidivism?

What if Ulysses is unknowingly a harbinger of doom that can only transpire if heroes alter the “future-dominos” for him?

These are all very interesting questions, the kind of which are sorely lacking in The Amazingly Immature Spider-Man these days.

Clayton Cole Cvil War II ASM 1

Perhaps the only odd note the issue hits is the opportunistic way that Peter latches onto Ulysses and his ability. He rightly tells the young man that he can probably use his powers to affect more lives than he realizes, but the moment is ruined with a hasty job offer at Parker Industries. Readers want to believe Peter is not exploiting the situation, but it’s hard not to wonder given how petty and immature the character is under Slott’s direction.

Overall, if you’re looking for a book that gets the Civil War II ball rolling, then check out Christos Gage’s work. His effort also serves as a good audition for the role of lead ASM scribe. For the first time in many months I have not felt embarrassed for the title, and that is a good thing. I look forward to buying Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man 2.

Civil War II ASM 1 Spider-Man

Exit Question: Is it me, or did this issue highlight how Peter Parker filled his entire inner circle at the company — courtesy of Dan Slott — with back-stabbers, criminals, and super villains?

  • Anna Maria Marconi: Doc Ock’s girlfriend. She went behind Peter’s back with Sanjani on Doc Ock’s nano-technology project.
  • Sanjani: She tried to strike a deal with The Ghost — a corporate saboteur — to destroy Parker Industries.
  • Lien Tang: Peter’s girlfriend tried to murder Spider-Man and traded company secrets to a terrorist organization.
  • Jacob Fury, aka Vernon Jacobs: Parker Industries’ biggest shareholder — and Peter’s “secret Santa” at the company Christmas party — ended up being the terrorist mastermind Scorpio.
  • Clayton Cole: Mr. Cole was formerly the villain known as Clash.
  • Harry Osborn: It’s really only a matter of time before Harry falls off the Green Goblin wagon. We might as well get it over with.
  • Living Brain: The robot is Doctor Octopus.

Dan Slott’s Amazingly Immature Spider-Man makes protégé Miles Morales ‘ashamed’ of the costume

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ASM13 SpiderMan IronMan fight

It would be incredibly hard for any comic book to steal headlines from Marvel’s Hydra-loving Captain America these days, but the latest issue of The Amazing Spider-Man gives it the old college try in terms of defiling a great character. It’s true that Marvel’s editors have not made Peter Parker admit to killing Uncle Ben — yet — but Dan Slott does turn a grown man into an immature loser who puts civilians’ lives at risk. Worse, Peter’s own protégé looks at his behavior and can barely keep his lunch down.

Before we continue on, here is what you need to know for ASM #13:

  • Harry Osborn and Betty Brant get ready to go to lunch with “the old gang.” Harry weirdly tells Peter that he isn’t invited because he’s “the big boss man” and Peter sheepishly replies, “Um…okay.”
  • Harry tells Betty he didn’t want to “risk” an awkward encounter with Mary Jane attending the lunch.
  • The three of them look at one of Betty’s Daily Bugle articles and realize that Augustus Roman is Regent.
  • Peter takes off as Spider-Man for a “Big Brother batting cage playdate” with Miles Morales, aka young Spider-Man.
  • Tony Stark arrived before Peter and soon ribs him about the quality of Parker Industries’ technology. Iron Man has also provided Miles with new web-shooters.
  • Spider-Man goes nuts and begins a street fight with Iron Man in front of parents and their children.
  • Miles Morales throws his hands in the air and says he’s “ashamed to be wearing this costume right now.” He leaves unnoticed and is immediately captured by Regent.
  • The giant explosion that takes down Miles stuns Spider-Man and Iron Man. The charge towards the blast area.

Ask yourself this question: If a writer claims to love Peter Parker, then why would he have the character behave in a way that causes a derivative version of himself to be “ashamed”?

The job of a writer is to make the protagonist shine in his own unique way as much as possible, yet Dan Slott’s Spider-Man has New Yorkers running for the hills as he acts like a clown.

“With great power comes great responsibility” — unless Tony Stark acts like Tony Stark, in which case it’s time to destroy public property and scare everyone within a half-mile radius. Perhaps J. Jonah Jameson was right all along…

ASM 13 SpiderMan IronMan

Regular readers will note that Peter Parker had a bizarre fight with Human Torch in ASM #3 and with Iron Man in ASM #12. He is actually regressing in terms of tact, professionalism, and maturity as the series goes on, so much so that his teenage protégé storms off in disgust. 

ASM 13 Miles explosion

“It was me. This is my fault,” Spider-Man says as he searches through wreckage for Miles. That may be true within the context of the story, but fans are left thinking, “No, this was Dan Slott. This is his fault.”

Long-time Spider-Man fans need to be told the following since they will never get it from websites like Newsarama: Dan Slott uses ASM #13 to elevate Miles Morales by making a mockery out of Peter Parker.

Writer Brian Michael Bendis did the very same thing in SM #2, which is why readers must pay close attention. There is a concerted effort to chip away at Peter Parker’s credibility until Miles usurps him in popularity, and it will certainly happen unless readers push back — hard.

If you want to see the slow-motion destruction of Peter Parker, then run out and buy ASM today.

If you want to see writers knee-cap the original Spider-Man so that Miles Morales wins the long-distance sales race, then check out ASM.

If you want to show Marvel your displeasure at what it’s doing to both Captain America and Spider-Man, then keep your hard-earned cash for better products. Charles Soule, for instance, is running creative laps around his peers as the moment. I highly suggest checking out his version of Daredevil.

ASM 13 IM SM

Molina’s Amazing Spider-Man 1.5: Car crash scene a perfect metaphor for story

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ASM 1.5 wagon

Jose Molina’s latest installment of The Suddenly Atheist Spider-Man was released on May 25, and fans of the wall crawler will be glad to know the he apologized for being “less than respectful” to the Santerians over their religious beliefs. That is, unfortunately, the one bright spot in an issue that is best represented by a car crash scene later in the book.

Here is what you need to know for The Amazing Spider-Man 1.5:

  • Spider-Man is still on the hunt for Julio Manuel Rodriguez, the man who mysteriously came back from the dead and performs miracles.
  • Writer Jose Molina actually thought it was a good idea to feature Spider-Man as a (female?) horse-drawn carriage driver.
  • Don Anselmo is “reborn” as a young man after a ceremony due to his faith. His god tells him Julio is controlled by a “false god.” (Question: Wouldn’t Don Anselmo’s god also be a false god since it isn’t God?)
  • Julio causes a car accident and then performs a miracle to resurrect a dead woman.
  • Spider-Man and the Santerians apologize to one another and then use Iron Man (shoe-horned into two pages) to locate where the spiritual conduit is that Julio’s host draws power from.
  • Iron Man gives the group an an address in Harlem and Spider-Man says “showdown time.”

ASM 1.5

It is very rare to see a Marvel comic that fails on pretty much every level imaginable. The entire creative team appears to given up all hope for salvaging the book.

  • Jose Molina continues to write a sloppy, poorly paced story that reads as if he has the attention span of a squirrel.
  • Artists Simone Bianchi and Andrea Broccardo have slapped together one of the ugliest issues of ASM of all time. Marvel would have gotten a better product if they asked a kid on Deviant Art to do them a favor for $100 bucks. Spider-Man wouldn’t look like a marshmallow, police cars wouldn’t look like they came off a Detroit assembly line in 1973, and Peter Parker wouldn’t look like Ace Ventura.
  • Editor Nick Lowe, who allowed a writer to have Peter Parker blame God for Uncle Ben’s death, is still M.I.A.
  • Question: Is it possible for a letterer to underperform? It seems like even the “AaaaaIIIEEEEEEE!” “KRIIIIII” and “CCRRNNNCHHH” in the crash panel are font failures, if that’s even possible.

In short, Marvel should be ashamed that there is essentially zero quality control for its “point” issues of ASM. There is one remaining issue of “Amazing Grace,” which is fitting because the few readers who are left will be singing the famous hymn after they finish.

Stay far, far away from ASM “point” issues for the foreseeable issue — at least until Mr. Lowe decides to do his job.

ASM 1.5 crash

Amazing Spider-Man #12: Slott’s Peter Parker impotent, Alpha Stark cradles MJ

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SpiderMan IronMan

The introduction to the 12th issue of The Amazing Spider-Man informs readers that Peter Parker has returned to New York City to “breathe a sigh of relief” after his recent showdown with the Zodiac terrorist organization. Indeed, writer Dan Slott then goes on to provide a palate-cleanser in the form of an old-school team-up between Spider-Man and Iron Man. It’s generally a fun tale that includes the return of Mary Jane, plenty of action and humor, and set-ups for Marvel’s Civil War II and the return of Regent. Mr. Slott’s fundamental misunderstanding of who Peter Parker is, however, needlessly produces a character who is socially impotent and politically aligned with his adversary.

The story goes as follows:

  • Parker Industries is hosting a black tie event to raise money for the Uncle Ben Foundation.
  • Tony Stark and his personal assistant, Mary Jane, are in attendance.
  • Augustus Roman (aka, Regent) of Empire Unlimited shows up.
  • Corporate saboteur “Ghost” crashes the party.
  • Spider-Man and Iron Man team up to save the day.
  • Roman’s facility for super-powered criminals, The Cellar, is introduced.

If you are the type of reader who mindlessly consumes comic books like I devour chocolate-covered raisins before a big-budget movie, then stop reading now and buy ASM #12.

If you are the type of reader who wonders why Peter Parker so often does not seem right under Mr. Slott’s direction, then read on. You may want to save that $4.00 for another book — perhaps the next issue of Charles Soule’s Daredevil.

ASM #12 demonstrates from the very first panel that Dan Slott does not know how to strip his own politics from the book to provide a superior (no pun intended) product.

If you, dear reader, were to become the CEO of a major company, then you would have no problem buying a nice tuxedo for black tie events. If attending charity fundraisers was a recurring obligation you had as CEO of “Successful Business Dude Inc.,” then taking time out of your schedule to rent and return cheap suits would be bizarre.

Dan Slott’s Peter Parker, however, embraces the bizarre and as a result becomes, for all intents and purposes, politically aligned with corporate saboteur Ghost.

ASM12 Parker Harry

Only moments before Ghost attacks his fundraiser, Parker equates buying cheap suits with doing business “right.” Instead of being a CEO who finds a proper balance between thriving in a cutthroat industry and giving back to local communities, he possesses a mentality that is one step removed from the villain calling him a “fat cat” member of “the one percent.”

In short, Peter Parker can be a CEO without becoming self-loathing about it. I suggest Dan Slott read up on Tony Robbins if he wants a good blueprint for how to write about business and finance.

ASM12 Ghost

Finally, one cannot talk about ASM #12 without covering the return of MJ.

ASM12 Stark MJ

“I can face Doctor Doom or the Juggernaut. Easy,” says Peter Parker. “But knowing you’re right there, MJ … and with Tony Stark? Everything’s wrong. It shouldn’t be like this,” (emphasis added).

Indeed, long-time fans of ASM would concur that MJ locking arms with Tony Stark at a party is wrong. Likewise, seeing Stark cradle her head while asking if she is okay during an attack feels gross. Dan’s Slott’s decision is to have Peter react to the meeting by a.) first freezing up at the podium, and then b.) calling Pepper Potts and offering her a job at Parker Industries. She rejects the offer without hesitation.

Question: Is that really how Peter would react?

Answer: He would obviously be upset at seeing MJ with another man, but it seems sad and unacceptable to have him respond with a kind of impotence and immaturity that would signal she is better off with Stark.

One shudders to think of the indignities to come as Marvel writers explore the professional (as of now) relationship between MJ and Tony.