Douglas Ernst Blog

The New Year’s resolution: Self-improvement’s kiss of death

January 3, 2013January 4, 2013by Douglas Ernst7 Comments

Years ago I had the pleasure of managing a gym, and the start of the new year brought in a wave of people into the facility, which predictably receded well before Spring. It seems as though New Year’s resolutions are the kiss of death for most individuals’ efforts at self-improvement.

The problem with most plans is that the mind is in the wrong place from the start. The individual says “I’m going to go to the gym more often,” or “I’m going to eat healthier foods.” The heart is in the right place, but the mind is not. There’s a reason why they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions…

Instead of doing something, you should be something. Instead of saying, “I’m going to do more running this year” you should say, “I am a runner.” In one case you’re asserting the desire to engage in an activity and in the other the activity is integral to who you are. Psychologically, these two positions seem to be only off by degrees, but when you plot out the vectors they produce, on a long enough timeline the differences are profound.

It always puzzles me to see people go on drastic diets or exercise programs. They swing life’s pendulum wildly in one direction and convince themselves that it isn’t going to come barreling back the other way. They enter into an exercise program that leaves them unable to walk for days on end, get discouraged and then give up because they didn’t scale the workouts to their ability level. They go cold-turkey on drinking or smoking or eating — or whatever the vice may be — and then fall right back into bad habits because they never properly committed to the right lifestyle to begin with.

When you take possession of a lifestyle, questions disappear. You don’t have to wonder whether or not you should have that extra piece of cake — you just don’t. You don’t have to wonder whether or not you’ll exercise the next day — you know that you will. It’s what you do because it’s who you are.

Over a year ago I severely injured my shoulder. I couldn’t lift my left arm up to wash my hair and had nights where I couldn’t sleep because of the pain. Needless to say, when I finally was able to start exercising again my weakest exercise — the pullup — was even worse. I made a rule: Any time I exited or entered my room I would do a set of pullups. Over time I got stronger … and stronger … and stronger, until one day I realized my pain was gone, my mobility had returned, and what was once a weakness was now one of my strengths. It took almost a year for that reality to unfold, but it all began with a mental directive that while the timeline was negotiable, the end result was not.

Mother Nature uses time and pressure to mold the physical world around us, but I firmly believe we too can use the very same methods to achieve success, wealth, health and happiness in our own lives. Once you honestly determine the person you are, your mind will seek out ways to bend reality to your will and you’ll attract the kind of company into your life needed to assist you in your endeavors. Make that switch from doing to being and check in with me three, four or five years down the road. My bet is that you will have done away with the practice of making big New Year’s resolutions in favor of constantly recalibrating the little things, which reaffirm and enhance the better person you’ve become.

Adrian Peterson’s work ethic breaks the mold

December 30, 2012September 18, 2014by Douglas Ernst8 Comments

On Dec. 24, 2011, Adrian Peterson tore his ACL. On Dec. 30, 2012 he officially broke 2,000 yards and came less than ten yards shy of breaking the single-season record. The man is an inspiration, for young and old alike. (Image: AP) — On Dec. 24, 2011, Adrian Peterson tore his ACL. On Dec. 30, 2012, he officially broke 2,000 yards and came less than ten yards shy of breaking the single-season record. The man is an inspiration for young and old alike. (Image: AP)

When I was a kid I was fascinated by Barry Sanders. Watching him, it seemed as though every time he touched the ball he could score. Others guys often say that’s what’s going through their mind, but with him you just had the sense he believed it. Coupled with his professionalism (I don’t think I ever saw him do an end zone dance) he was one of my role models. It wasn’t until I first caught a glimpse of Adrian Peterson handle the ball that a similar sense of awe came over me.

Today, Mr. Peterson joined an exclusive club, and became an even bigger role model to a new generation of kids:

Peterson became the seventh player to rush for 2,000 yards in a season, plowing through the Green Bay Packers for a 20-yard gain that put him over the top in the third quarter Sunday.

Peterson entered the game needing 102 yards to join O.J. Simpson, Eric Dickerson, Barry Sanders, Terrell Davis, Jamal Lewis and Chris Johnson in the 2,000-yard club. Peterson is the only one to do it after reconstructive knee surgery.

While most of the coverage tomorrow will be on Peterson’s numbers, the story behind the story is the speed with which he recovered from a torn anterior cruciate ligament. SI’s Ben Reiter has a great piece (not online yet) titled ‘All Day All The Way’ that details the mindset of a man Americans would be wise to duplicate. Peterson’s first thought after the injury was to get in touch with a boy in the stands to whom he promised an autograph before the game; the child was tracked down and a jersey was signed “All Day/God Bless”.

Peterson’s second thought:

[He] would not just return to being the best running back in the world, which he’d been less than an hour before; he’d be even better, and he’d do it not in two years, or in one, but in 263 days — in time for the Vikings’ 2012 season opener. “It was remarkable to see how quickly he was able to digest it, get his mind around it and move forward,” says [Vikings’ athletic trainer Eric Sugarman.]

“My mind just clicked over,” Peterson explains. “I’ll come back. I’ll bounce back better.”

Sometimes, you have a bad day. Sometimes, you have a really bad day. And sometimes, when giant football players fall onto your knee it just seems like the universe is doing its best to make you go into a deep dark funk you’ll never dig your way out of. Every obstacle in life isn’t really an obstacle, but an opportunity to prove to yourself and the world just how remarkable the human spirit is, how resilient the human body can be and how in imaginative the human mind can be when it is given a direct order with specific instructions.

Tony Robbins once said that the brain acts like a servomechanism when it’s given a very specific mission, and he’s right. Like a heat-seeking missile, someone who lays out a plan, believes in that plan and commits themselves to it for the long haul usually has a level of success they could be proud of.

Tomorrow, someone will lament the fact that they don’t have Adrian Peterson’s genetics. That same person will not have heard Vikings punter Chris Kluwe talk about the scars on Peterson’s legs: “[His scars] are from constantly just churning though people.”

Peterson is a machine. He is the ‘Gears of War’. He grinds through adversity, he grinds through opposing defenses and he grinds through that gnawing pessimism that well all have on a day-to-day basis. He does this to realize his full potential.

On Sunday, Dec. 30, 2012 Adrian Peterson fell eight yards shy of breaking the all-time single season rushing record. He did this after blowing out his ACL on Dec. 24, 2011. My bet is, he’ll use those eight yards as motivation to chase down many, many records in the years to come.

Somewhere, a little kid watched his efforts and took away lessons that will propel him him to great heights. Next time someone tells you “it’s just a sport” just laugh it off. When you watch to learn it is in fact much, much more.

Thanks, Adrian. God bless.

Django Unchained: Uncomfortable for people who want to believe they’re still chained

December 28, 2012December 29, 2012by Douglas Ernst12 Comments

Spike Lee didn’t think if was “disrespectful” when he went off half-cocked and encouraged 250,000 of his followers to take the law into their own hands and go after George Zimmerman after the Trayvon Martin shooting. When it turned out that the address provided belonged to an innocent elderly couple who had nothing to do with Mr. Zimmerman, he didn’t see it as “disrespectful” that his apology happened in less than 140 characters — on Twitter. And so, it seems odd that without even seeing Django Unchained he has deemed it an affront to his ancestors.

Spike Lee doesn’t have much to say about Quentin Tarantino’s new film about a slave-turned-gunslinger. When it comes to “Django Unchained” he simply won’t watch it.

“It’d be disrespectful to my ancestors to see that film. That’s the only thing I’m going to say. I can’t disrespect my ancestors,” Lee told VibeTV in a recent interview.

But Spike Lee is not alone. Since Django Unchained has come out a number of stories have addressed whether or not the movie’s mere existence is appropriate. Some at least managed to do the sane thing and sit through the movie before critiquing it:

Barbara Chennault, another costume designer who attended the Beverly Hills screening, could do without it. Like White, she admits to being conflicted about Tarantino. “I don’t think that slavery is something you can make light of,” she said. “Overall the movie was jarring and unsettling, but the humor totally distracted from the depth.”

Tim Cogshell, an African American movie critic for KPCC-FM’s “Filmweek,” says the issue is not Tarantino riffing on slavery but the fact that blacks are still living out its painful legacy. …

The surreal liftoff that happens at some point in ‘Basterds’ doesn’t happen here, because of the weight of what’s still real,” he said. “For example, there’s a certain racial backlash to Obama that’s still going on.” …

True, the movie abounds with disturbing details of slavery — face masks, Mandingo fights, killer dogs, “hot boxes” into which runaways were thrown as punishment. But details alone do not argue anything. The most disturbing detail is the emotional violence and degradation directed at blacks that effectively keeps them at the bottom of the social order, a place they still occupy today.

The United States is a magnet for millions upon millions of immigrants of all races and religions. They flock here in numbers so large that politicians are forced to have contentious debates in Congress about how to deal with the issue. These immigrants come here — to a nation that has just overwhelmingly elected a black president to a second term — and by and large, they succeed. The children of first generation immigrants are better off than their parents. The grandchildren of first generation immigrants more often than not follow suit. And yet, we still have Los Angeles Times reporters and “African American movie critics” (How about just ‘movie critic’?) lamenting “the weight” of slavery. Apparently, that weight is so large that it keeps generations of blacks “at the bottom of the social order.” But is that true? Studies have been done that compare the social mobility of immigrants from, say, Jamaica or Africa to that of American blacks with generations of roots here in North America … and the results are eye opening. The response to Django Unchained might give us a clue as to what’s going on.

Some form of racism or tribalism exists in all countries and in all cultures. It always has. It will never be extinguished. In some sense, the urge to put on mind-forged manacles (e.g., an “us vs. them” mentality) is engrained in our DNA. Watch idiots get into a bar fight over a favorite sports team — I repeat, a sports team — to see the least pernicious example of this mindset at play. Given this reality, the real question becomes: “Does a level of racism exist in this country or this community that could prevent a determined individual from pursuing and attaining the life they’re after?” In the United States, the answer is “no.” While occasional run-ins with racists or bigots are inevitable, their power is marginalized and does not prevent honest hard-working individuals from realizing their full potential. Sadly, the Spike Lees of the world do not believe this to be the case.

An America where the issue of slavery joins the ranks of all the others that were once sacred cows — but now up for grabs for any writer, director, artist or comedian to play with as they see fit — is an America where the politics of guilt are powerless. When Jamie Foxx can show up on Saturday Night Live, joke about killing “all the white people,” and then receive a round of applause and laughter from a mostly-white audience — Q.E.D.: Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and Spike Lee have lost the ability to play the race card.

Spike Lee refuses to see Django Unchained because its very existence (its critically acclaimed and commercially successful existence) is a powerful blow to his entire worldview. Millions of white people are now coughing up cash to see a movie where the white guys are the “bad” guys and the white guys become the dead guys due to the protagonist black guy. Jamie Foxx’s Django will be hanging from the college dorm room walls of gullible white college kids, who will then dutifully nod their heads when their leftist professors tell them they’re subconsciously racist. They will then listen to JayZ while wearing an RG3 football jersey after class. It is this reality that Mr. Lee and “African American movie critics” like Tim Cogshell seek to deny, and they telegraph it through their commentary on Tarantino’s work.

My suggestion to you would be do see Django Unchained, find a way to love it, and then tweet Spike Lee its praises as you exit the theater. The sooner we can start mocking men like Mr. Lee, the sooner we can get to a world where more people are judged by the content of their character instead of the color of their skin.

Amazing Spider-Man #700: Doc Slott pens ending only villains could love

December 26, 2012December 28, 2012by Douglas Ernst10 Comments

Is the Superior Spider-Man a rapist? Has Dan Slott penned one of the most insulting send offs for an American icon in the history of comics? Given that the “Superior” Spider-Man would have slept with Mary Jane if given the chance in Amazing Spider-Man #700, it would be hard to argue with anyone who says “yes” to the former. (At a minimum, he’s a wannabe rapist.) The answer to the latter is, unequivocally, yes.

Dan Slott's Superior Spider-Man was given access to Peter Parker's memories and, not surprisingly, fallen for Mary Jane. Since he made no attempt to disclose this information while trying to sleep while simply kissing her — Dan Slott’s Superior Spider-Man was given access to Peter Parker’s memories and, not surprisingly, fell for Mary Jane. Since he made no attempt to disclose this information while trying to sleep with her or while stealing a kiss, readers will be forgiven if they refer to him as the Superior Spider-Rapist. (Image: Amazing Spider-Man #700)

Writer Dan Slott told readers to check out the book before passing judgment. Now that Amazing Spider-Man #700 has hit the shelves, the vast majority of fears regarding the issue have been realized. Besides, who needs to read the story when Slott has already spelled out exactly what his intentions were in an interview with CNN:

Dan Slott: For all intents and purposes, [Otto] was the adult Peter could have become, Spider-Man’s dark reflection. So what if we flipped it? What if we gave him a second chance? Peter’s final, heroic act was giving Doc all the memories and experiences that kept him on the right path. But is that enough? Can that overcome Ock’s true nature?

It was never Peter’s decision to give Doc a “second chance” because even in the Marvel Universe that pesky thing called the rule of law exists. A character with a history of murder, mayhem and crimes against humanity does not simply get to realize “with great power comes responsibility” and be absolved (legally and morally) for his sins. The evil cherry on top of Dan Slott’s poisonous sundae is that the villain murders the hero and then convinces himself that it’s okay because he’ll be “a better Spider-Man than you ever were. From this day forth, I shall become The Superior Spider-Man!”

Someone needs to tell Mr. Slott that you get a “second chance” after you’ve atoned for your sins. You get a “second chance” after you’ve legally paid your dues for the wrongs you have wrought on society. You don’t get a second chance simply because there’s a moment in time you realize what an evil maniacal bastard you’ve been for your entire adult life. Dan Slott’s attempt to convince readers that they should accept Otto Octavius as Spider-Man is an Orwellian effort only the Inner Party could love: War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength. Spider-Man is Doctor Octopus. Evil is Good. Deceit is Honesty.

There are consequences for our actions. The character Peter Parker let the thief go who ended up murdering his Uncle Ben and he had to live with the consequences for the rest of his life. Likewise, the character Otto Octavius openly stated he wanted to transcend Pol Pot and Hitler — and had the track record to prove he gave it his best shot. As much as writers would like to wonder “What if?” in regards to such a villain, a responsible creative team would never say, “Let’s kill off one of the world’s most beloved characters and try and convince his legions of fans that his arch enemy, deep down, was always the “superior” hero.”

With the release of Amazing Spider-Man #700, it’s official: Marvel has given its fans a gigantic radioactive middle finger. Hopefully, the response will be to treat the Super Spider-Man like the toxic insult he is.

It takes more than “unparalleled genius” and “boundless ambition” to be Peter Parker. “Friends, Romans, countrymen … Dan Slott hath told you that Spider-Man was an ambitious man … for Dan Slott is an honorable man.” (Image: Amazing Spider-Man #700)

Superior Spider-Man: Is Dan Slott asking readers to root for a rapist?

December 20, 2012May 15, 2013by Douglas Ernst48 Comments

Superior Spider-Man Doctor Octopus — Has Marvel turned The Amazing Spider-Man into The Amazing Rapist? If the leaks about Amazing Spider-Man #700 are true, fans may be looking at the destruction of an icon.

Amazing Spider-Man #700 has been leaked, and unless readers have been given the best head-fake of all time, it appears as though Doctor Octopus is the new “Superior” Spider-Man. In short, his mind is in Peter’s body. In his final moments, early indicators are that Peter helps bring Doctor Octopus to an epiphany: Deep down, Otto just wanted to be a hero.

It brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it? Perhaps, if not for the fact that the guy who admittedly wanted to transcend Pol Pot and Hitler appears to have been sleeping with the real hero’s true love — under false pretenses. Unless Doctor Octopus disclosed to Mary Jane beforehand that his mind was occupying Peter’s body he is, essentially, a rapist. And, if the new Superior Spider-Man is a guy readers are supposed to root for, by extension Marvel is asking kids, young adults and longtime fans to give a nod of approval (in the form of strong monthly sales) to pure evil.

In my original post I voiced disgust at the idea that Mary Jane would ever consider dating a man whose crimes against humanity would embolden even the morally-bankrupt United Nations to call for his head. Having her sleep with the man turned my stomach, but it wasn’t until someone on Twitter actually used the word ‘rape’ that the enormity of what Dan Slott may have set the stage for sank in.

If Peter Parker really uses his dying breath to confer the mantle of “Spider-Man” onto Doctor Octopus it will be a tragedy of epic proportions. It would mean that Peter never truly grasped the rule of law, and that he had learned absolutely nothing — nothing — from Uncle Ben’s death. Giving Doctor Octopus the green light to essentially live his life — and thus absolving the criminal from taking responsibility for the heinous acts he has committed over the years — would be the worst send off Marvel could have ever given The Amazing Spider-Man. Dan Slott might as well have found a way to turn Uncle Ben’s killer into the new Spider-Man; it’s that bad.

Think of all the murder, carnage, destruction and evil that Doctor Octopus has wrought upon the Marvel Universe. For God’s sake, the guy was the mastermind behind The Sinister Six. And yet, because he has a psychological sob story readers are supposed to clap when Peter hands over his “great power” and implores his executioner to do the right thing? It’s sick.

Dan Slott’s Superior Spider-Man seems poised to be the poster child for the worst liberal moral relativism has to offer. One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. One man’s Spider-Man is another man’s Doctor Octopus. Consequences for our actions? That’s so Uncle Ben of us to expect. Why shouldn’t a guy be able to take the world within an inch of Armageddon one day and then skip his day in court the next because he wants to put on the red and blue tights of real superhero? In the modern Marvel Universe, he can!

With that, I pray that I’m wrong. But what is a fan to think after the infamous deal with (for all intents and purposes) the Devil? Norman Osborn’s rape of Gwen Stacy? (And if it turns out that Mary Jane is the latest victim of such a crime, one must ask why Marvel is so obsessed with having the women in Peter’s life treated in such a way.) It’s hard not to believe the worst at this point.

Perhaps the only consolation I have at this point is the belief that the writers and editors have given themselves an escape hatch. There’s always an escape hatch. Granted, Marvel has pummeled Peter’s reputation into the ground, but with a strong creative mind at the helm there’s always a way out — even if takes them a decade to crawl to the surface.

If the worst predictions about Superior Spider-Man turn out to be true, I hope all die-hard Spider-Man fans do the right thing and encourage others to withhold cash.

While I'm not into Spider-Man porn, I am the "neo-con" who wrote about Spider-Man's absurd "no one dies" mentality proved what a naive loser he has become with Slott at the helm. Maybe Dan Slott never read up on North Korean gulags. It's a shame. — While I have nothing to do with Spidey porn, I am the “NeoCon” who wrote about how Spider-Man’s absurd “no one dies”mentality proved what a naive loser he has become with Slott at the helm. Maybe Dan Slott never read up on North Korean gulags. It’s a shame. He might learn something about how the world really works. As it stands, he has to resort to misrepresenting my positions in order to continue denying his own ignorance.

Another example of Dan Slott addressing me in a way that I would never see unless I was stalking his Twitter feed or a kind reader brought it to my attention. I wonder why I wasn't tagged or why Mr. Slott didn't comment here... Perhaps because he wouldn't be able to make disingenuous claims without having them shot to pieces. — Another example of Dan Slott addressing me in a way that I would never see unless a kind reader brought it to my attention. I wonder why I wasn’t tagged or why Mr. Slott didn’t comment here… Perhaps because he wouldn’t be able to make disingenuous claims without having them shot to pieces. Someone needs to ask Mr. Slott why Peter’s “no one dies” crusade really meant: *“No one dies — except me. By the bad guy.”*

Amazing Spider-Man #700: Marvel gives radioactive middle finger to its fans

December 16, 2012December 27, 2012by Douglas Ernst22 Comments

Marvel has gone from asking you to root for the anti-hero to asking you to root for the villain. Doctor Octopus' mind is now inside Peter Parker's body, but instead of a few issues it looks like he'll be around awhile. — Marvel has gone from asking you to root for its stable of antiheroes to the villain. Doctor Octopus’ mind is now inside Peter Parker’s body, but instead of a few issues it looks like he’ll be around awhile. Hopefully an exodus of readers ensues. (Image: ASM #699)

I grew up on The Amazing Spider-Man. For all intents and purposes I learned to read with the character. My older brother was the one who introduced me to Marvel comics. I’d sit on the arm of our old chair in the family room and he’d read to me. “With great power comes great responsibility” was engrained in my mind before “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal…” (although, truthfully, it’s not too hard to imagine that Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben would have fit in rather well with the Founding Fathers). I repaid Marvel for bringing the old web head into my life with years of loyalty — and Marvel then returned that favor by spitting in my eye.

In 2007, Marvel’s “One More Day” took the character tens-of-thousands of readers loved for his honesty and integrity and essentially had him make a deal with the Devil. Got that? The Devil. It was a move that was so fundamentally disconnected from anything Peter Parker would ever do that to this day it still makes me angry that a creative team that would allow for it to happen was placed in a position of authority.

What was “the deal” over? His grandmother. Peter Parker’s and Mary Jane’s marriage was “magically” erased (i.e., a deus ex machina that managed to make other deus ex machinas cringe) so that Peter could save his elderly grandmother, who had lived — any way you slice it — a full life. A grandmother who had a husband she wanted to be reunited with. A grandmother who knew her time was up and, rightfully, knew that at some point we all must face death.

One would think that after sucker-punching its fans and kneeing them in the kidneys Marvel would back off until the blood had disappeared from our urine. Wrong.

As the Amazing Spider-Man ends its run, Marvel has in effect put one of Spider-Man’s all time villains into his body. The Superior Spider-Man will apparently be none other than Doctor Octopus. The villain is now the hero. We’ve gone from being asked to root for the hero who compromises his principles to make a deal with the Devil to being asked to root for a monster. Up is down, down is up, good is bad and bad is good.

If Marvel was smart it would use a story about Peter defeating death to undo the deal with the Devil and finally put his marriage back together — but that increasingly looks like it isn’t going to happen. The same people who whined for years that a married Peter Parker was too hard to write made him single again — and shocker — the stories still sucked. That’s what happens when people who don’t respect the character’s core principles are at the helm.

To add insult to injury, the Superior Spider-Man (i.e., Doctor Octopus) slept with Aunt May and will now apparently be sleeping with Mary Jane. So the editors kill off the true hero and then ask us to shell out cash so we can be reminded once a month that the bad guy has been in bed with the good guy’s wife and his aunt. Classy.

Every time you pick up an issue of Superior Spider-Man you can be reminded that the villain slept with the real hero's wife ... and aunt. — Every time you pick up an issue of Superior Spider-Man in the future you can be reminded that the villain slept with the real hero’s wife … and aunt. (Image: ASM #699)

At some point in time Marvel decided that a good business model would be: “Let’s piss off our fans, particularly the ones who have been loyal to us for decades.” In a sane world, an organization seeks to find ways to hold on to loyal customers while bringing in new ones with each generation. Not Marvel. These days, when it comes to Spider-Man, smashing what’s left of his reputation seems to be the sole motivation for those in charge. The result? Many fans walk away all together, and some (like me), cut out basically every Marvel book they used to buy, only to sporadically purchase the one they love to hate out of sheer morbid curiosity.

The Amazing Spider-Man has become like an old dog to me. I grew up with and loved him for years, but he’s sick. He needs to be put down, but I haven’t been able let go because it’s not the old age that’s killing him; it’s a pack of self-absorbed men who keep poisoning his food. I think that with the new title, Superior Spider-Man, I’ll finally be able to say goodbye. Sadly, it seems as though that’s what “the brain trust” at Marvel was hoping would happen to readers like me all along.

Man of Steel Trailer: Harbinger of an epic film

December 11, 2012May 17, 2013by Douglas Ernst13 Comments

The new Man of Steel trailer is amazing. It is flat out awesome. Every aspect of what has been teased over the last few months indicates that Zack Snyder has directed something that aims for epic and in all likelihood will succeed. Snyder proved that he could handle a cynical take on Superman (i.e., Dr. Manhattan in the underrated Watchman), and all the early indicators are that he will deliver with the real deal.

First, let’s look at Jonathan Kent:

Pa Kent: You just have to decide what kind of man you want to grow up to be, Clark. Whoever that man is, he’s going to change the world.

Pa Kent (Teaser Trailer 2): You’re not just anyone. One day you’re going to have to make a choice. You have to decide what kind of man you want to grow up to be. Whoever that man is — good character or bad — he’s going to change the world.

Bravo. Good and Evil exist — and not only do we have the power to choose the person we become, but we must choose. Moral clarity out of the gates is reassuring. The world is clearly a messy place (e.g., Should Clark have let children die to protect his secret?), but deep down we know what is right and just and what must be done.

Growing up, I was never a huge fan of Superman and I never could quite pinpoint why. He was just “boring.” I didn’t realize it for quite some time, but Jor El explains the situation clearly:

Jor El (Teaser Trailer 1): You will give the people an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you. They will stumble. They will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.

Superman is the ideal we all strive for, but will never attain. He sets the bar for all other superheroes. He has nearly-unlimited power, but he chooses to serve others. He is so much more than the humans he walks among, and yet he loves and protects and cares for them. And perhaps the truth is I didn’t dislike Superman because he is actually boring; I disliked him because he reminded me of just how flawed I was. And am. And always will be. Superman is that moment in time when after months of denying something you know to be true you look in the mirror and it’s there — there’s no escaping it — and the truth just stares you in the eye and forces you to confront the issue or fight that much harder to live in denial. Zack Snyder gets it, and he wisely made sure to include it in the script:

Clark Kent: My father believed that if the world found out who I realize was, they’d reject me. He was convinced that the world wasn’t ready. What do you think?

When I first saw an image of Superman in cuffs and flanked by U.S. servicemen my instinct was to become skeptical. Would Snyder go the route of so many other Hollywood directors and portray the U.S. government as the “bad” guy for a good portion of the flick? I thought about it, and decided not to write on the issue because everything I’ve seen from him suggests he’s smarter than that. There had to be a better angle. After having viewed the trailer, I’m glad I held off.

The truth is, the world would reject Superman. And in his love for humanity he would offer himself up to them. No matter how strong and powerful he was and no matter how much he tried to convince humanity that he loved it they would fear and, ultimately, seek to destroy him. A world in which Superman exists would thrust a moral weight upon the shoulders of its citizens that would be too uncomfortable to bear for millions (possibly billions) of people, and they would seek to find ways to cast off such a burden by banishing him from earth, discrediting or destroying him all together.

If Zack Synder plays his cards right he will have a hit movie on his hands that millions of its critics will hate for reasons they won’t be able to comprehend until years after the fact, if at all.

Military obesity isn’t the issue: Civilian fat bodies are

December 11, 2012December 11, 2012by Douglas Ernst16 Comments

The Washington Post is running stories on the military's bulging bellies. I looked through my old Army photos and found one of my fellow infantrymen after a 10 mile run. Nope. No fat people there. I wonder why. — The Washington Post just ran a story on the military’s bulging bellies. I looked through my old Army photos from 1997 and found one of me with my fellow infantrymen after a 10 mile run. Nope. No fat people there. My Magic Eight Ball says the MOS might have had something to do with it.

Over the past few years there has been increasing coverage of the growing waistlines of our nation’s military. It’s generally a dumb story. The people charged with fixing the problem know exactly what’s going on: Nobody does physical fitness like the infantry. Period. If you want less overweight soldiers, tell the POGS to look at their grunt-buddies for an example of how to stay in shape.

Let’s take a look at who, exactly, can’t seem to get their asses in gear, shall we?

Surprise, surprise. Look who leads the pack or, more aptly, leads the rear of the formation on Company runs: women, the Air Force, and fat old men who have their rank and don’t give a rip because they’ve hit twenty years of service and can retire at any time.

When I was part of Charlie Co., 1/18 Infantry in the 90’s we had a guy who treated his body like crap and he couldn’t stay in shape. The solution? They made me get up with him on the weekends and take him on four, five, and six-mile runs. We also ran after work. We did push-ups. We did sit-ups. Our Platoon Sergeant gave me free rein to drag him out of bed and onto the road for long runs until he got it in his thick head to get where he was supposed to be, meaning: in shape. When you make something a priority, things start to fall into place. Shocker. The military should make it a priority to emulate the kind of standards infantrymen hold themselves to.

With that said, the bigger story is the nation’s eating problem:

Obesity is now the leading cause of ineligibility for people who want to join the Army, according to military officials, who see expanding waistlines in the warrior corps as a national security concern. …

Retired Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling said he was floored by what he found in 2009 when he was assigned to overhaul the Army’s training system. Seventy-five percent of civilians who wanted to join the force were ineligible, he said. Obesity was the leading cause.

“Of the 25 percent that could join, what we found was 65 percent could not pass the [physical training] test on the first day,” he said in a recent speech. “Young people joining our service could not run, jump, tumble or roll — the kind of things you would expect soldiers to do if you’re in combat.”

I believe that our nation’s outward appearance is a reflection of our own cultural decay.

Sloth. Gluttony. Pride. Envy. A nation of video game obsessed, chip-eating narcissists live vicariously through the heroes in their first person shooter, only taking breaks to go to the bathroom and catch a few minutes of whatever brain dead reality show is popular on MTV. Huge swaths of the population sit around on their butts all day, and when they wake from their Netflix induced stupor long enough to catch a news report of someone who went out there and actually built something they become angry. (See: Occupy Wall Street.)

In the United States, we live in a society where anyone can be fat. Quite unlike any other time in history, the poorer you are in the United States the more likely it is that you will be fat. It’s a testament to our greatness, but one that doesn’t come without its own set of challenges. Where once artists and painters drew naked heavy women because weight was an indicator of wealth, today obesity is an indicator that you might very well be living on a tight budget.

Today, the rich have personal trainers to help hound off the weight, but the poor have internet access. All the nutritional information we could ever want is right there at our fingertips, and yet rich and poor alike don’t utilize it. There are YouTube videos, blogs, government funded websites and enough dietary knowledge to make anyone a subject matter expert in a relatively short amount of time, and yet we still pack on the pounds. Why? It’s because we aren’t serious. About anything. We spend our days working and our nights watching Jersey Shore. Or Buck Wild. Or Honey Boo Boo. Or Dancing with the Stars. Or American Idol.

And so, the nation’s newspapers should not worry about the body fat standards of the military so much as it should worry about the psyche of our civilian population. More nutrition labels aren’t the answer. More bans on sodium and fat are not the answer. Limits on carbohydrates aren’t the answer. Instead, I would argue that finding a way to change the culture in a way that tempers its obsession with instant gratification and celebrity would yield better results.

And if we fail? If there’s a zombie apocalypse we all know who will be the first ones to go — and it won’t be me.

The real story behind ‘The Hawkeye Initiative’: Liberals bashing liberals

December 4, 2012April 5, 2013by Douglas Ernst56 Comments

Not familiar with The Hawkeye Initiative? You should be, especially if you’re into comics. It’s a somewhat-amusing attempt by artists to replace “strong female character poses” with Hawkeye.

We’ve seen a lot of clever responses to the spine-twisting, butt-baring poses so many female comic book characters are subjected to, but the Hawkeye Initiative is particularly fun. Their mission: to take those particularly awful poses and replace the female characters with Hawkeye.

Why Hawkeye? It seems it all began when artist Blue decided to switch the poses and positions of Hawkeye and the Black Widow on one of their comic book covers. …

Then Blue and Noelle Stevenson (also known as Gingerhaze and creator of the fabulous webcomic Nimona threw a challenge out to Tumblr: fix those “Strong Female Character” poses by replacing them with Hawkeye doing the same thing.

The problem with I09’s Lauren Davis’ take on The Hawkeye Initiative is that it misses the story behind the story. Who are all these artists and writers and editors in the comic industry? What kind of sexist jerks would try and hide their objectification of women behind false attempts to portray a “strong female character”? Given that there’s a “war on women,” any rational human being would conclude that the perps are all very white, very Republican men. Right? Wrong.

Matt Fraction — liberal. Joe Quesada — liberal. Grant Morrison — liberal. Rick Veitch — 9/11 Conspiracy theory kook liberal. Geoff Johns — liberal. Dan Slott — liberal. Sara Pichelli — liberal. Brian Michael Bendis — liberal. Alex Ross — liberal. Mark Waid — liberal. And for many, many more you can visit the Four Color Media Monitor.

Is it possible that some of the allegedly-sexist poses these women are put in are in fact rather innocuous — but that critics are merely projecting their own sexual biases onto the images? I think so. Scrolling through the Tumblr account, anyone who has read Spider-Man knows that as a quick and agile character, many of his contortions would be interpreted as “sexist” if a woman was drawn the same way. Women have different bodies than men, an inconvenient truth that the gender police don’t want to acknowledge.

One of the biggest tells of The Hawkeye Initiative is that it doesn’t even require submissions to be from people who are actually fans of the work they’re criticizing. What if the image in question includes the Marvel equivalent of Ke$ha? What then? I guess it doesn’t matter, since all that counts to the self-righteous know-it-all are her intentions. “My statement about female empowerment matters more than my practical knowledge of the characters, their histories and their motivations.”

It may also be a shock to The Hawkeye Initiative crowd, but women are able to possess power, intelligence and sexuality at the same time. While even I get annoyed at the artist who is obviously obsessed with the porn-star-with-disturbingly-large-breast-implants look, I also don’t mind seeing a female character whose strength and amazing figure are highlighted. (Apparently, the creators of The Hawkeye Initiative have never been to a bodybuilding competition, where men and women contort themselves in interesting ways to show off as many of their best assets in one pose to audience members and the judges.)

Regardless, the next time your friend talks to you about the “war on women,” go to your stash of comics created by liberal writers and artists. Show them a good butt-shot, and then ask them if they’d still buy the product if it was a known Republican who was devising such demeaning poses.

Update: If you’re coming here from Reddit, just a heads up: I’d comment in the thread, but my first tactful rebuttal was deleted because that’s how liberal Reddit goon moderators roll. We can’t have the conservative guy actually defending himself, can we?

Iron Man 3 trailer delivers — Shane Black gets dark

October 24, 2012March 6, 2013by Douglas Ernst7 Comments

Iron Man 2 was a decent super hero flick. It was fine … but when one compares it to the first installment or The Avengers, it’s glaringly obvious that the studio rushed a half-baked product to the market. The only thing that saved Iron Man 2 was Robert Downey Jr’s pitch-perfect understanding of the character. Marvel will be under a great deal of pressure to get the ship righted, but after seeing the first trailer for Iron Man 3, it appears as though they might have succeeded.

The problem with Tony Stark (billionaire, philanthropist, playboy), is that even though he’s that cocky genius-bastard you can’t help but love, after three movies of his wise cracks, at some point the character needs to be grounded. He needs to be humbled. He needs to face something that takes the smirk off his face and makes him reassess who he is and what’s important to him. I’ve said since day one that bringing on Shane Black, who did a wonderful job with Kiss, Kiss, Bang Bang, was a smart move. Black is more than capable of directing strong action sequences, and he’s shown that he could write witty, compelling, complex characters. Marvel did itself a favor by bringing him on board.

With that said, the only thing that could derail Iron Man 3 for me will be politics. (I can tolerate Gweneth Paltrow’s “I’m just here for a paycheck” performances, although I hope she gracefully exits after her contract is up.) Marvel has a bad habit of flirting with liberalism in its products — even subjecting Tony Stark to weird Bush-Cheney warmonger allegories. While it’s been said that the new movie was going to be inspired by Tom Clancy — who is most definitely conservative — I wouldn’t put it past them to sully the series with politically correct gobbledygook.

Case in point: Iron Patriot.

Without spoiling things for fans who don’t read the comics, the Iron Patriot’s mere presence raises questions. Who will be in the suit? Is he a good guy or is he a bad guy? Will the calamities that befall Tony Stark be solely the work of The Mandarin, or will shady actors within the U.S. government somehow be to blame?

Take, for instance, the trailer’s narrator, who says:

Ladies. Children. Sheep. Some people call me a terrorist; I consider myself a teacher. Lesson number one: Heroes — there is no such thing.

If the Iron Patriot is somehow involved with the Mandarin or if the U.S. government is somehow culpable for the espionage that destroys Tony’s life, the movie will instantly lose credibility. If the message ends up being some sort of social commentary on how “one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter,” I probably won’t be seeing Iron Man 4 in the theaters.

Regardless, I had my doubts about The Avengers and ended up being pleasantly surprised. I’m cautiously optimistic that the creators of Iron Man 3 are drawing from the same successful formula.
Related: Iron Man is America
Related: Robert Downey Jr.’s politics: A lesson for liberal Hulks
Related: Lone Avenger: Robert Downey Jr. soars above his liberal critics