Dan Slott to fans: Embrace Asian fling feeding Inspector Spider-Gadget with chopsticks in ASM #6

ASM6

A man must be incredibly close with a woman before she starts hand-feeding him. A white guy who could convince his “girl-power”-loving Asian fling to feed him with chopsticks would need incredible skills to pull off such a feat. I say this because The Amazing Spider-Man #6 is out, and Dan Slott expects fans to embrace Lien Tang (spelled ‘Lian’ in ASM #1) as a legitimate love interest. The only “evidence” of such a bond between the two came in the first issue — when she said they were “very close.”

Lian Tang SpiderMan

Besides the whole “white guy who dreams of having his own concubine” feel to the relationship with Lian, it’s just poor writing. The seriousness between Lian and Peter came out of nowhere. There was no build-up. There was no courtship. Readers — including those who are wondering why Marvel refuses to reunite Peter with M.J. — are asked to care about a character because she’s responsible for building the Spider-Mobile.

Note to Dan Slott: It doesn’t work that way (even if it is one step above the Cindy Moon “pheromones” debacle).

ASM #6 has other issues as well. Mr Negative is back in town, but the lead-up to Peter’s encounter with the villain involves Spider-Man saving the day with “web shooter cartridge seven: Quick-drying web-cement,” and “web shooter cartridge three: Acid webbing.”

Question for fans of The Amazing Spider-Man: At what point does all drama get sucked out of the book because Dan Slott magically gives Spider-Man the perfect technology to escape any situation?

ASM6 web cement

These days we have Spider-submarines, Spider-jets, Spider-mobiles, anti-poison darts, web-cement, acid-webbing, hologram suits, and … possibly 100 different web cartridges for any occasion.

Perhaps Peter even has depleted uranium webbing in a special cartridge in case he ever has to battle The Hulk.

ASM6 web acid

For readers who continue on after realizing they purchased The Amazing Inspector Spider-Gadget, there is a tale unfolding about Mr. Negative’s return to China, his newest drug spreading on the streets of Shanghai, and his interest in Parker Industries. The potential for a very cool tale is there, particularly since Cloak and Dagger are involved, but at this point it is too soon to say whether Slott’s “The Dark Kingdom” is worth checking out.

In short, if Dan Slott is going to have “web shooter cartridge 64” filled with ‘Positive webbing’ for combat with Mr. Negative (i.e., a lazy creative escape hatch), then readers should save their cash for another book.

ASM6 Cloak Dagger