Kevin Smith Mothra

Remember when Kevin Smith’s Westboro Baptist Church-inspired horror flick ‘Red State’ barely cracked $1 million dollars? Since portraying roughly half the nation as potential religious whack jobs worked out so well for him, he’s decided to up the ante by pitting humanity and Satan against a giant raging “Christzilla” figure. As usual, the “daring” filmmaker failed to disclose any plans to ridicule Islam.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Smith shared details about that project and updates on other movies in the works, and also revealed how he’s going to approach his film career going forward, in an extensive Facebook post on Monday.

The filmmaker wrote that he’ll soon start writing a movie about mankind teaming up with Hell to fight a rapturing giant Jesus.

Here’s what Smith said on his Facebook page:

“[R]ight now, the aim is to shoot CLERKS III this May — so this HELENA HANDBAG picture would still be a ways off anyway. But why sit around commenting on other people’s lives and art on the internet when I can try to make some NEW art instead? As for the title: If you heard the podcast, you know Scott suggested CHRISTZILLA in place of HOLY CHRIST! – the title of the fake movie in the original podcast. I asked the audience to offer up their suggestions at #BeatChristzilla and they were all really fun! But I’m going with the title HELENA HANDBAG – which comes directly from the plot of the flick (it’s kind of a nod to David Lynch’s unproduced ONE SALIVA BUBBLE screenplay, too — which was also about the end of the world and also carried a title that didn’t really prepare you for what the movie was about). So I’m off to write HELENA HANDBAG.

“Clerks III” followed by another attempt to get under the skin of religious folks? Perhaps in a few years “Clerks IV: Dante’s Inferno” can fuse Kevin Smith’s two primary go-to career options. Jay and Silent Bob can travel to the depths of Hell to save Brian O’Halloran.

For younger moviegoers, it is hard to explain how time has exposed Smith’s incredibly limited range as a writer and director. 1994’s “Clerks” was a truly inspired effort, and “Chasing Amy” solidified his reputation at the time as a witty guy with his finger firmly planted on the pulse of American pop-culture. People started copying his style, and instead of searching out new intellectual landscapes to explore he stayed in the same arena of thought with the usual creative teams. With each iteration, the “Kevin Smith” brand became more stale. Smith, however, doesn’t quite see it that way:

JERSEY GIRL, ZACK & MIRI, COP OUT – while I love them all, these are movies anybody could make. Like ’em or hate ’em, nobody else but me could’ve (or would’ve) ever made CLERKS. Or CHASING AMY. Or DOGMA. Or RED STATE. Or CLERKS II. Or MALLRATS. Or JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK.

  • Mall Rats — a funny movie about slackers. No one but Smith would have done that? The 90s would disagree.
  • Chasing Amy — a sharply written romantic comedy involving Lesbians? No one but Smith would make that? The growing Netflix section on gay and lesbian movies says otherwise.
  • Dogma — a critique on the Catholic Church. No one but Smith would make that? Okay.
  • Red State — a horror flick that blasts fundamentalist Christians. No one but Smith would make that? Gotcha.

Does Kevin Smith use the caps lock button to convince himself that his assertions are true, or does he think that talking loudly convinces the rest of us of the veracity of his claims? Will the sequel to “Helena Handbag” be called “Islamabad Burka”? Don’t count on it.

If Kevin Smith wants a movie that no one else would make, perhaps he could write a film that pits Giant Muhammed against Mothra. Giant Muhammed could also have a harem of topless women the size of The Sacred Mosque Al-Masjid Al-Haram. But Smith won’t go there because it’s easier to needle Christians with “Christzilla” than it is to make a film that lands on the radar of the world’s nuttiest Islamic clerics. Just ask Mark Basseley Youssef (formerly Nakoula Basseley Nakoula), the director of “Innocence of Muslims.” He’s the guy the Obama administration couldn’t act fast enough to pull out of his home for a perp walk. Crime? Daring to criticize Islam.

Kevin Smith is an intelligent guy with some good instincts. He was way ahead of the game when it came to podcasting and the format plays to his strengths. However, his role as screenwriter and filmmaker has suffered from years of staying inside his comfort zone. Worse, he still thinks that making jokes at the expense of devout followers of Jesus is edgy. It’s not. It’s just sad and, on some level, cowardly considering many of the real threats to the creative freedoms he enjoys as a citizen of the United States.

Kevin Smith doesn't want to end up like Mark Basseley Youssef (Nakoula Basseley Nakoula), the director of "Innocence of Muslims," so he sticks to mocking Christians.
Kevin Smith doesn’t want to end up like Mark Basseley Youssef (Nakoula Basseley Nakoula), the director of “Innocence of Muslims,” so he sticks to mocking Christians.

Related: Red State’s Kevin Smith Plays Silent Bob on Radical Islam

Related: Red State Teaser Trailer Hits Christians because Teasing Muslims Terrifies Kevin Smith

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About the Author Douglas Ernst

I'm a former Army guy who believes success comes through hard work, honesty, optimism, and perseverance. I believe seeing yourself as a victim creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe in God. I'm a USC Trojan with an MA in Political Science from American University.

18 comments

  1. hmmm… yeah, sad that people can mock Christians left and right and not face criticism, but say one bad thing about the muslim faith and you are a “hater” and bigot. as i read, i was reminded of something my husband just told me yesterday or the day before… how he was watching mancow the other day, who stated how 2014 will be the year of God movies, as there are about 10 or so films coming out that are stories about or surrounding Christian themes, messages or biblical accounts. i thought that was cool, and am already looking forward to watching some of them. glad to know that there will films out like that at least… to sort of make up for the disappointing existence of films like this one. i guess i’m now happy to say that i’ve never seen one kevin smith film.

    1. I think it’s rather bizarre how there are tens of millions of Christians in the U.S. who are ready and willing to hand over cash for good movies that portray their faith with a modicum of respect, but yet Hollywood hasn’t really ever taken advantage of it.

      Based on Smith’s most recent efforts, I’d say that you won’t be missing much by passing on ‘Helena Handbag.’

    2. You’re polyannish if you think all these so-called Christian movies will be positive portrayals of our beliefs.

      If Kevin Smith was smart, he would use Christzilla as a metaphor for good triumphing over an uprising of evil and portray Christ as a sort of an Avenger displaying righteous indignation toward a a rebellious human race led by Satan.

      That would be cool. If evil wins out in the end, then the movie will fail.

      Unfortunately, the Adversary in the real world is working hard to destroy Christianity, so I supposed the godless secular masses may embrace a Christian bashing movie in the end. Let’s hope Hollywood has learned from the Duc Dynasty incident that we are still the silent majority in this country. However, our numbers are dwindling thanks to a pervasive effort to undermine all that is good. Happy new year.

  2. I think it’s rather bizarre how there are tens of millions of Christians in the U.S. who are ready and willing to hand over cash for good movies that portray their faith with a modicum of respect, but yet Hollywood hasn’t really ever taken advantage of it.

    Remember “The Passion of the Christ”? Mel Gibson raked in close to $300 million with that effort, IIRC. And he was blasted every second for it by the likes of Smith and the Hollywood crowd.

    1. Indeed, Hube. I’ve never really thought much of Kevin Smith. I enjoyed a couple of his movies, such as Clerks, Dogma (not so much anymore) and Mallrats (which was actually filmed in my home state of Minnesota, at the Eden Prairie Mall, even though it was set in New Jersey, I think), but after “Jersey Girl” I stopped paying any attention to his movies. His comics have generally been bad, at least in my opinion. His Green Arrow storyline wasn’t bad but I didn’t care for his writing on Daredevil, Spider-Man or Batman.

    2. ‘Clerks’ really was something special on multiple levels. The story of how it came to be, the obstacles Smith had to overcome to get it completed, etc. it’s pretty cool. However, around the time of ‘Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back’ I think a lot of early fans were like, “Umm, okay, it’s time to sort of take it to the next level here.” Well, ‘Jersey Girl’ was that attempt — and it landed with a thud. Smith’s response was to go back to the Clerks well…which is fine, but it wasn’t a step forward. If anything, it was a step backwards.

      Next came ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno,’ which was okay but generally forgettable, and then ‘Cop Out’. Need I say more?

    3. Actually Passion of the Christ brought in 370 million domestically and is by far the most successful R rated movie ever.

      In regards to your other point the godless secularists in Hollywood care more about crushing Christian beliefs, and peddling immorality than making money, and youv know when that’s the case Satan is running the show. When a movie like Wolf of Wall Street with over 400 f-words and 3 hours of X-rated debauchery can get a 75‰ positive on Rotten Tomatoes we’ve got a problem.

    4. Actually Passion of the Christ brought in 370 million domestically and is by far the most successful R rated movie ever.

      I stand corrected! Thank you, Greg. 🙂

  3. If in the end, through righteous indignation, Christzilla beats back the forces of evil, then its a good metaphor and I’d go see it.
    Christ as the newest Avenger could work.
    If it’s just Christian bashing it will fail.

    Even secularists want to see good to win over evil. And let’s not forget Passion of the Christ was one of the most successful movies ever.

    Smith would be smart to make Christ ist the hero in the end, especially if he wants to make any money.

    P. S. However, if Russell Brand portrays Jesus, there’s no way in heck I’d go see it.

    1. If in the end, through righteous indignation, Christzilla beats back the forces of evil, then its a good metaphor and I’d go see it.

      As it’s currently been reported, the movie would pit “humanity” and Satan against Christ upon his return. I suppose it’s possible he could find a way to put a positive spin on everything, but I think the more likely route is for him to essentially say, “This is a roast of a certain ‘kind’ of Jesus by a certain ‘kind’ of Christian I don’t agree with. I’m really a faithful guy, but the ‘real’ Jesus is nothing like the caricature I’ve portrayed on film.”

      I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

  4. Smith would not write about Muslims because he is not a Muslim and has no exposure to curtail a story about them and their beliefs. Since he is Catholic he is writing about what he knows and Mr. Ernst is casting this as some possible attack on Christianity. In the end it probably will be considered that if it does not follow the watchers ideal of who Christ is or the Bible’s portrayal of the end of the world.

    1. Jay, that’s such a cop out — and I’m not even trying to make a reference to a movie that should make even the most hard core Kevin Smith fans cringe. Kevin Smith isn’t a lesbian either, but he wrote ‘Chasing Amy.’ Do you really want to keep going down the “Kevin isn’t a Muslim, so he can’t write on Islam” route? I hope not.

    2. Spot on, Hube. Smith knows that for the most part he’ll get lots of hate mail, but in general Christians will do nothing to him. If he made a movie with “Buddy Muhammed” instead of “Buddy Christ” he’d have some deadly fatwas placed on his head. If he would just admit that he’s going for the easy target I’d cut him some slack. Instead, he puts up this front as if he’s going to make movies that no one else would make, and then guys like Jay come to his defense.

    3. He should make a Movie Called “My Big Fat Muhamidzvah.” Whatta ya think? I give it a Thumbs Up just for the title. Hopefully it’s too cold here in NY for Al Qaeda to come knocking any time soon.

  5. Sorry I like mine better but I like your spunk and willingness to play along. My story would be about a Jewish Boy who converts to Islam right before his Bar Mitzvah . Faux Outrage and comic Mayhem to ensue. Kind of like Mr. Bean meets Bend It Like Beckham. I’m still working on it.

    1. I respect the guys from South Park. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have shown they are willing to go after everybody. That I can get behind. What I can’t respect is someone who picks an easy target and then pretends like they’re doing something unique and special.

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