Zero Dark Thirty, which will come out in December, has been billed as “the story of history’s greatest manhunt for the world’s most dangerous man.” Now, if the Obama administration has its way, it will be billed as “the story of history’s greatest manhunt for the world’s most dangerous man ... that wasn’t told in theaters.” Sources confirm that Jay Carney will hold a press conference within days to preemptively apologize to the Muslim world for the film, which chronicles the capture and killing of Osama bin Laden. The White House gave Hollywood unprecedented access to sensitive information in order to recreate the event, but the sudden realization that insulting Islam is tantamount to crying fire in a crowded theater has it worried — using the Obama administration’s own logic, they could be held accountable for Zero Dark Thirty murders.
It all started when violence broke out in the Mideast on September 11, first with the U.S. Embassy in Egypt and the U.S. Consulate in Libya, and then with other uprisings in Tunisia, Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, Israel and Pakistan later in the week. Four Americans were killed, including two former U.S. Navy SEALs and Ambassador Christopher Stephens. The Obama administration has insisted on multiple occasions that the current violence is rooted in anger of an obscure YouTube video, “The Innocence of Muslims,” and that it should not be seen as a condemnation of American foreign policy under Obama or an indicator of Islam’s incompatibility with universal human rights.
U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, who also has asserted that the anti-Islam film was responsible for “spontaneous” attacks, released the following statement Monday night:
Director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal have needlessly put American lives at risk with Zero Dark Thirty. Likewise, it is disgusting that Chris Pratt, Jessica Chastain and Joel Edgerton would take part in a film that will undoubtedly inflame passions around the globe, particularly among large segments of the Muslim community President Obama has sought to win over long before bin Laden’s body was left on the bottom of the ocean. The capture and killing of the terrorist mastermind, the continued drone strikes and the operational status of Guantanamo Bay aside, this administration has worked miracles within the Muslim community. Zero Dark Thirty will undo nearly four years worth of work if Sony has its way. And so, the Obama administration calls on all studios and distributors associated with the film to pull back before it’s too late.
Upon hearing the news, Mitt Romney’s campaign put out a press release condemning the Obama administration’s hypocrisy, as well as its abandonment of the First Amendment. Flash polls conducted by Rasmussen indicate that 90 percent of the American population sees nothing wrong with the Obama administration’s preemptive apology, and that roughly 3/4 of likely voters found the former Mass. governor to be out of line when he defended the Constitution on Constitution Day.
With Zero Dark Thirty set to hit theaters December 19, Americans have at least three months to wait before they see if the apology works. Ivy League academics have assured citizens that any violence perpetrated in the name of Islam will be blamed on Christians, Sony Pictures and writer Mark Boal, since the thought that President Obama be held accountable for his mistakes is, of course, ludicrous.