Maniac Mansion: Barack Obama Edition

Growing up in the 80’s, Maniac Mansion was one of my favorite games.

Whether you hole yourself up with liberal academics, or hunchbacked hobbling lab assistants...the result is usually bad.

Unlike most other titles out at the time, it didn’t have a predetermined outcome. You hand picked your team from a number of different characters, each with their own unique skill set.  Players had to be strategic about who they chose on their team, because the outcome of the game altered depending on who came along for the mission.

The storyline went as follows:

  • A meteor falls to the earth behind the mansion of “Dr. Fred.”
  • Weird things happen in town.
  • A group of friends decide to investigate when their friend goes missing.

What does all of this have to do with Barack Obama?  Lately, he reminds me of Dr. Fred. Many Americans (particularly independent voters) don’t know what the heck is going on inside the White House, but they know that peculiar things are happening to the country.  Like Dr. Fred, some people think the President is evil, some people think he’s a genius, some wonder if his behavior is connected to weird meteors that fall from the sky (okay, well, maybe not that one), and others think there’s nothing wrong at all.  The rest have no clue what’s going on…but they’re determined to get to the bottom of it.

While you’ll never hear me call the President evil (read Natan Sharansky’s The Case for Democracy if you want to know why), I do think his policies are downright scary and destructive. Liberals treat the United States as their own special science experiment by throwing billions of taxpayer dollars into social engineering schemes thought up by the “equal outcome trumps equal opportunity” crowd.

Politicians who try to play God usually just do a great job of making life Hell for the rest of us.

Like the run-of-the-mill mad scientist that isn’t much interested in anyone’s opinion but his own, Barack Obama spent years holed up with like-minded liberal academics. The occasional input by hunchbacked, hobbling assistants generally only echos long held beliefs; they rarely offer dissent.  And, while it would be nice to believe that Barack Obama was the kind of guy who could create No.9, I’m more inclined to believe his policies will create the kind of post apocalyptic world the characters of the movie 9 inhabit.

“We had such potential,such promise…but we squandered our gifts,” (Allan Oppenheimer as “The Scientist”).

The next time you get the urge to vote for someone who’s narcissistic enough to think they can plan a 12 trillion dollar economy, dust off your favorite old NES games when the polls open and hope you don’t solve them until after they close.

I don't think Barack Obama is being controlled by evil tentacle space aliens, but he's making a strong case for game developers to pursue Maniac Mansion: Hopeandchange Edition