Roughly 17 years ago I exited the military after a stint as a mechanized infantryman in the U.S. Army. Even though the September 11, 2001, terror attacks and the nation’s “long war” had not yet begun, I found myself having a difficult time with the transition to civilian life. Understanding why I missed my old platoon — and why I felt a growing fear and sadness for the country I loved — took years (and a blog like this) to figure out, but author and former war reporter Sebastian Junger articulates it all in his must-read book Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging.

Americans who have not lived under a rock for the past 20 years have witnessed the slow-motion implosion of our culture.

  • Cable news pundits obsessively talk of “red states” and “blue states.”
  • The politics of personal destruction reigns supreme.
  • Saying “all lives matter” is interpreted in a Twilight Zone-ish twist by millions of people as somehow racist.
  • Americans watch carefully constructed social-media feeds that tell them all Republicans are the equivalent of Darth Vader, or that all Democrats have shrines to Fidel Castro in their bedroom.

In short, the modern world is deficient in something that is causing tens-of-millions of people to feel isolated, alone, and empty. The void is filled with confusion, and that in turn fuels the kind of anger and hate that was the hallmark of the 2016 election cycle.

Why is it that many soldiers and civilians who have lived through war sometimes get nostalgic for it?

What are the consequences for society when a person “living in a modern city or suburb can, for the first time in history, go through an entire day — or an entire life — mostly encountering complete strangers”?

Why are we often surrounded by others, yet “feel deeply, dangerously alone”?

One of the answers can be found in tribal societies. And no, your friendly neighborhood blogger is not saying Native Americans should have won the clash of civilizations at our nation’s inception. I am merely saying, like Mr. Junger, that we can learn from their ability to provide “the three pillars of self-determination — autonomy, competence, and community.”

Mr. Junger writes:

“After World War II, many Londoners claimed to miss the exciting and perilous days of the Blitz. (“I wouldn’t mind having an evening like it, say, once a week — ordinarily there’s no excitement,” one man commented to Mass-Observation about the air raids), and the war that is missed doesn’t even have to be a shooting war: “I am a survivor of the AIDS epidemic,” an American man wrote in 2014 on the comment board of an online lecture about war. “Now that AIDS is no longer a death sentence, I must admit that I miss those days of extreme brotherhood…which led to deep emotions and understandings that are above anything I have felt since the plague years.”

What people miss presumably isn’t danger or loss but the unity that these things often engender. There are obvious stresses on a person in a group, but there may be even greater stresses on a person in isolation, so during disasters there is a net gain in well-being. Most primates, including humans, are intensely social, and there are very few instances of lone primates surviving in the wild. …

Whatever the technological advances of modern society — and they’re near miraculous — the individualized lifestyles that those technologies spawn seem to be deeply brutalizing to the human spirit.” — (Sebastian Junger, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging (New York: Hachette Book Group, Inc., 2016), 92-93.

Tribe covers issues like PTSD, depression, and anxiety among combat veterans, but it would be a big mistake to solely think of it as a book for the military community. It is much more than that, because it is a blueprint for getting the nation on a path to cultural healing.

The author continues:

“The eternal argument over so-called entitlement programs — and, more broadly, over liberal and conservative thought — will never be resolved because each side represents an ancient and absolutely essential component of our evolutionary past.

So how do you unify a secure, wealthy country that has sunk into a zero-sum political game with itself? How do you make veterans feel that they are returning to a cohesive society that was worth fighting for in the first place? […] I put the question to Rachel Yehuda of Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. …

“if you want to make a society work, then you don’t keep underscoring the places where you’re different — you underscore your shared humanity,” she told me. “I’m appalled by how much people focus on differences. Why are you focusing on how different you are from one another, and not on the things that unite us?” […]

Reviling people you share a combat outpost with is an incredibly stupid thing to do, and public figures who imagine their nation isn’t, potentially, one huge combat outpost are deluding themselves. (127-128).

Tribe is by no means “the” answer to the nation’s deep-seated cultural problems, but it is a significant piece of the puzzle. To get a good look at the big picture, I suggest pairing Mr. Junger’s quick-read with George Weigel’s Letters to a Young Catholic. Each book provides a template for transcending dead-end partisan bickering, and in turn getting America efficiently focused on  becoming a more-perfect union.


  1. Editor’s Note: We’re starting off 2017 with a “Doug Prize.”

    Reader J.R. Handley: If you want a free copy of Sebastian Junger’s Tribe, then just give me permission to email you at the address you have provided WordPress. I will be in contact in short order.

    Also, I just registered the domain “” If you receive a warning from Google in the url bar after the site redirect, then don’t worry. WordPress said it may take up to 72 hours for all the technical details to get worked out. You can still use “” if you want, but it will redirect to the new domain.

    1. Send away! If it doesn’t let me, I can get you the address for my wife who has the Amazon account. Not quite sure how all of this works! I know, I’m a technological troglodyte, barely keeping my knuckles from dragging the ground! And wow, thank you. It sounds like the “what next” answer to the seminal book ON KILLING by author Dave Grossman!!

    2. “Send away! If it doesn’t let me, I can get you the address for my wife who has the Amazon account. Not quite sure how all of this works! I know, I’m a technological troglodyte, barely keeping my knuckles from dragging the ground! And wow, thank you. It sounds like the ‘what next’ answer to the seminal book ON KILLING by author Dave Grossman!!”

      It looks like I’ll have to read Grossman’s book, now. Haha! Anyway, I’ll be in touch shortly. 🙂 I’m glad to have you as a reader. I always appreciate your feedback and insight.

    3. “And I enjoy that we can disagree without being disagreeable… even though we also agree on a lot too.”

      I was telling a friend on Facebook yesterday that the one thing I missed about the military is that you can disagree with guys and they generally don’t take it personally. It’s just…you disagree. You might mess around and tease the dude, but at the end of the day he’s allowed to think what he wants to think and you get to think what you want. No harm, no foul. And maybe one or both of the men learn something during the exchange.

    4. Absolutely, you learn more about what and why you think something by defending it in honest debate. And if it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, it’s not racist (or other -ists), it’s a failed idea and you should evolve and move on.

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