Behind door number one we have a man in a dress. Behind door number two we have former Navy Seal Marcus Luttrell looking like he could kill you with just a hard glare. Which door would you like walk through if it determined our national identity?

Men’s Fashion Week for Summer 2012 just wrapped up in Paris, which means I now get to write about it. Although, truthfully, I really should just post a slew of pictures, all of which would be humorous if they weren’t so sad. I’ve touched on the subject before, but every time I see a bunch of artsy males get together in skimpy outfits fit for an Adam Lambert choreographed dance number, I can’t help but think of Marcus Luttrell of Seal Team 10.

The man on the left is either a male model who gets paid to prance around as a human bush, or he's auditioning to become concealment for a Navy Seal.

The fact is, I’m torn. It’s a marvel that Western Civilization has granted us the kind of peace and prosperity that allows grown men to walk around (and get paid!) in bush costumes masquerading as fashion and art. I also don’t want to outright dismiss “the bushmen” because, on some level, maybe they are portraying something of artistic value, even if I just “don’t get it.” But when I juxtapose pictures of former Navy Seal Marcus Luttrel with the male models of Paris, I can’t help but get a little depressed. It’s as if the ideal has been turned upside down. Instead of duty, honor, valor, and strength, the modern man is encouraged to become a hairless (leafy green?), passive man-boy who plays up any inner femininity that he might have. Instead of the selfless service of the seasoned soldier, it’s the vain, narcissistic, pouting man-children of Jersey Shore that get air time and viral videos. Perhaps that’s why I want so desperately for Captain America to rule the summer box office. See you on opening night—unless you’re disguised as a bush.

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