Last Jedi: Rian Johnson’s middle finger chin scratch to confident men

The Force is Female Kathleen Kennedy

One of the cool things about YouTube is that you never know when a video is going to hit a nerve. I recently saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi, and then posted my review. The post racked up over 50,000 views and roughly 2,000 comments in one week.

Here’s the abridged version for those who are in a hurry: Director Rian Johnson has given generations of fans a giant “middle finger chin scratch.”

If you want to see male characters get emasculated in a $200 million commercial for producer Kathleen “The Force is Female” Kennedy’s political agenda, then see it soon.

If, however, you want to see a product that honor’s George Lucas’ original trilogy, then you should avoid Last Jedi at all costs.

Below are my latest YouTube uploads on the movie, although you can head on over to Conservative Book Club if you want a more traditional review.

NOTE: There are SPOILERS in all of my videos. You have been warned.

Next up is my video titled: “Last Jedi: ‘Milking’ Luke, ‘leaking’ Fozzi Finn not in trailers for a reason.

Finally we have my two-hour live-stream on “sellout critics, spin doctors and more.”

Remember: Star Wars: The Last Jedi apologists say this guy has no agenda…

Rian Johnson Feminist Agenda

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George Lucas, smug hypocrite, calls Disney ‘White Slavers’

George Lucas Charlie Rose YouTube

It was only a matter of time before George Lucas allowed the anger and jealously of J.J. Abrams’ extremely-awesome take on Star Wars to burst forth for all the world to see. That moment came when Lucas, who was paid $4 billion dollars by Disney, called the company a bunch of “white slavers.”

Variety reported Wednesday:

Lucas, who has always been protective of his series and even refers to them as his “kids,” hasn’t been looking back well on the deal with Disney (via Collider).

“I sold them to the white slavers that takes these things, and…,” Lucas said before laughing and deciding it better not to finish.

The father of “Star Wars” also opened up about why he and Disney were split on their decisions for the franchise’s future.

“They looked at the stories, and they said, ‘We want to make something for the fans,’” Lucas said. “They decided they didn’t want to use those stories, they decided they were going to do their own thing. … They weren’t that keen to have me involved anyway — but if I get in there, I’m just going to cause trouble, because they’re not going to do what I want them to do. And I don’t have the control to do that anymore, and all I would do is muck everything up,” he said. “And so I said, ‘OK, I will go my way, and I’ll let them go their way.’”

Lucas apologized when some lawyers from Disney started screaming in his ear, but the damage is already done. He showed his hand.

Here is the truth: George Lucas — the guy who has a “ranch” that we might as well call Skywalker Plantation — is much more of a “white slaver” than Disney will ever be.

George Lucas surrounded himself with yes-men and created his own fiefdom, where computer experts were holed up inside dark rooms for years to make monstrosities like Jar Jar Binks. Men who might as well be called indentured servants toiled away so finicky Lucas could barge in and criticize their hard work.

Note: Watch the behind-the-scenes specials on the prequels to see how people cower in fear when Lucas comes around. Watch as otherwise-talented men bow down and submit to Lucas’ stupidity because he somehow managed to bring the original trilogy into existence.

Speaking of the Star Wars movies, let’s rate them:

Episode I: Horrible. Lucas called it “bold.” It’s also “bold” to take a bowel movement in the middle of Times Square, but it’s still unacceptable.
Episode II: Horrible.
Episode III:Barely passable. Lucas must have received help with the script. Someone intervened behind the scenes. There is no doubt.
Episode IV: Classic. Young George Lucas, saddled with setbacks, takes part in a truly collaborative project and creates a winner.
Episode V: Great movie. Note that it was directed by Irvin Kershner with a screenplay by Lawrence Kasdan.
Episode VI: Good movie, but shaky. We see the divisions between “white slaver” Lucas and writer Kasdan on full display.
Episode VII: Bravo. J.J. Abrams and Kasdan begin to “make things right.” A return to form.

Notice how ungrateful George Lucas, after taking $4 billion dollars, turns his nose at the idea of giving fans what they want.

Lucas is still steaming all these years later because he tried to shove half-baked prequels down the world’s throat and the feedback was, “It looks like someone has isolated himself on Skywalker Ranch for far too long…”

The kicker, not picked up by most media outlets, comes when the guy who sells merchandise like Watto sneered at American capitalism. He then had the gall to say he cares more about the craft of writing than Hollywood.

“Whenever there is a new tool, everybody goes crazy and they forget the fact that there is actually a story and that’s the point. You’re telling a story using tools. You’re not using tools to tell a story. You understand that? The other thing that got abused [after Star Wars came out], naturally in a capitalist society, especially with an American point of view, is the studios and everything said, ‘Well, wow! We can make a lot of money.”

I almost feel sorry for George Lucas. What a pathetic attempt to revise history.

When rational human beings think of a Top 10 list of movies where a director allowed story to suffer as he got lost in his desire to fool around with new technology, the prequels will always make the list.

I honestly did not want to rehash the prequels, but since George Lucas has the nerve to accept a $4 billion dollar check and then call the guys who wrote it “white slavers,” then his ego needs to be chopped down like the losing party in a lightsaber fight.

Make sure to catch the part of Red Letter Media’s review where they cover Lucas’ private screening of The Phantom Menace. It is incredibly telling.

‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ delivers, Lucas’ prequel-stink grows

Han Solo Force Awakens

Anyone who ran relay races on the high-school track team knows the importance of smoothly passing the baton during transitions. It is now safe to say that J.J. Abrams “coached” his team well — the “blaster” was seamlessly passed from one generation to the next.

Director J.J. Abrams created a Star Wars movie with heart and soul. He created a Star Wars movie that fans can embrace. He created a Star Wars movie that fans do not need to make excuses for, which is a nice way of saying The Force Awakens will open more eyes to the horridness of George Lucas’ prequels.

Rey

Star Wars: The Force Awakens begins, as usual, with its iconic scrawl across the screen. The announcement: Luke Skywalker has vanished. Within minutes the action starts and fans are introduced to the droid BB-8, ace-pilot Poe (Oscar Isaac), the evil Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), and the soon-to-be ex-stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega).

Poe gives sensitive information to BB-8 and instructs him to flee as Kylo’s Ren’s forces close in — reminiscent of R2D2’s mission in Star Wars: A New Hope. From there we meet “scavenger” Rey (Daisy Ridley), and the mystery unfolds. Everyone is looking for Luke, and the fate of entire star-systems will be determined by who retrieves BB-8’s data first.

Force Awakens Kylo Ren Finn

One of the most welcome surprises of The Force Awakens is Han Solo’s role, played admirably by a grizzled Harrison Ford. Solo and General Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher) could have been given throwaway cameos, but Abrams chose instead to make them extremely relevant to plot.

There isn’t too much more one can disclose without getting into spoiler territory, other than to say Abrams made a movie with a little something for everyone — but he did it well. He was asked to juggle the Star Wars universe for everyone’s amusement, and he didn’t drop a single ball.

In some slightly sad but wonderful way, Abrams is now a better “George Lucas” than George Lucas.

Perhaps the only two criticisms The Force Awakens may be susceptible to are: 1.) Many of the situations these characters must overcome are rewrapped versions of events from the original trilogy, and 2.) Certain scenes seem a bit rushed. I, however, am inclined to dismiss the first critique since history does repeat itself and, more importantly, Abrams’ script and direction were superb.

The second observation has merit, but it does not change the fact that Star Wars: The Force Awakens is a legitimate return to form after the embarrassments that were Episodes I-III.

If you haven’t seen J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens yet, then I would suggest doing so sooner rather than later. There is one major spoiler that will not remain a secret for much longer, and it’s better to go into the theater without that knowledge.

Editors Note: I refrained from including spoilers in the review, but the comments section are fair game. Do not read the comments section if you want to avoid spoilers. 

George Lucas slayed by Sith-environmentalists

George Lucas has lost a war of attrition with Sith-environmentalists. If they can't find a compromise with someone as liberal as George Lucas, who can they work with? The answer: No one.

The transformation of George Lucas from creative genius to evil Sith Lord of the Star Wars universe is well documented. Up until this point I have merely pointed out that while Lucas likens George Bush to Darth Vader and often demonizes successful capitalists, it is he who sold his integrity to the highest bidders, built a merchandising empire and ruled it with an iron fist. Today, I get to chronicle the moment in time where Dark Lords, Sith-environmentalists, defeated Lucas in a war of attrition.

Since 1995, a gaggle of rabid eco-interests have relentlessly attacked the billionaire film magnate, whose productions ushered in the digital arts age, over his plans for a production complex that would house Lucasfilm, Industrial Light and Magic, and LucasArts, all beneath one roof. …

Finally, two weeks ago, the county supervisors gave the “Star Wars” creator the thumbs up to build his dream complex, though its size was to be reduced by nearly half and another green deed would have to be carried out by Lucas: fund a county-wide climate change action agenda. Lucas was ready to close the deal when officials moved to provide the opposition one last opportunity to state their case as to why the project should not be allowed. …

When the eco-warriors showed up at the County Hall with lawyers and reams of paperwork last week, George Lucas decided to finally surrender. …

“We have several opportunities to build the production stages in communities that see us as a creative asset, not as an evil empire,” stated a letter from George Lucas’ property company. “The residents [surrounding the property] have fought this project for 25 years, and enough is enough. …”

George Lucas couldn’t get much further to the left on the political spectrum if he tried, and yet the the environmentalists rode him out like a bad Tauntaun until he died, splayed his guts out in the open for all the world to see, and then left his smelly corpse on the steps of city hall in Marin County, California.

How many jobs would George Lucas have brought to the area with a brand new, state-of-the-art movie making complex? What kind of impact would it have had on the economy? We know the answers but they don’t matter, because psychotic environmentalists don’t care. They don’t care about jobs. They don’t care about property rights. They don’t care about compromise. All they care about is imposing their will on the rest of us.

If George Lucas can’t come to an agreement with green activists, who can? Nobody. His case proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that these are people who can not be reasoned with. Lucas bent over backwards to appease his critics, and all he succeeded in doing was making it easier for them to put their boots on his neck.

As the United States assesses its energy needs for the decades to come (where to drill or dig or “frack”) they should remember what happened to George Lucas not so long ago in a state not so far, far away.

Star Wars Kinect: Further proof George Lucas is Palpatine

Han Solo dancing to Auto-Tune better suited for A Clockwork Orange. It exists, and it's George Lucas's fault.

George Lucas became the Emperor Palpatine of the Star Wars universe long ago, but many people still won’t admit it. I believe that a large segment of those in denial are people who allowed themselves to be Jedi mind tricked by his shots at George W. Bush while in attendance at Barack Obama fundraisers, and his willingness to fawn over the president during media appearances.

George Lucas is the kind of guy who wants you to believe he’s “one of the people,” the “99%” as they say. The truth is, George Lucas built an empire, and when he ran out of creative building blocks to expand it he mined his principles. And when his principles were gone he drilled deeper into his soul, and the brick and mortar of the Lucas Empire became shame. And when the shame ran out he burrowed even deeper and found that he had an endless supply of ego and hubris.

The result: Star Wars Kinect.

 

Yes, you saw that correctly. Han Solo dancing to the kind of Auto-Tune that may have actually come from the gates of Hell. I wouldn’t even mind, but George Lucas goes around bashing capitalists when he’s one of the most successful capitalists on the face of the planet! He’s the kind of guy who would lecture you on corporate responsibility, when the fact is he lost track of the mission statement and vision-thing long ago. It’s all about cash for George, and when a company becomes all about cash you know they’ve lost their way.

I respect George Lucas’s ability to make a buck, but I no longer respect him as an artist. As an artist, he’s more machine now…than man. A money-making machine.

George Lucas’s one saving grace is that he intends to donate half of his fortune to charity as part of The Giving Pledge. If he actually follows through, it would be something to be proud of, but then again it begs the question: For someone who claims to believe in the power of Big Government, why would he choose to donate to specific charities instead? The answer is quite simple. The world’s liberal millionaires and billionaires never just hand over extra wads of cash to the federal government because they do what sane people do: they look for reputable organizations where they know the money will be spent efficiently and appropriately. The next time you hear George Lucas demonizing conservatives (i.e., the people who want you to be able to keep more of your own money), remember that. And then go watch the original trilogy so you can see what the Dark Side can do to a man.

George Lucas Exposed as The Real Palpatine: Maureen Dowd Silent

Please buy my new Jar Jar Binks Toys. Meesa say, "It's amazing!" Oh, and don't pay any attention to Gary Kurtz. He's lying.

Do you remember when George Lucas told Maureen Dowd that Dick Cheney is Emperor Palpatine and George Bush is Darth Vadar?  I do:

Lucas explained politely as I listened contritely. Anakin Skywalker is a promising young man who is turned to the dark side by an older politician and becomes Darth Vader. “George Bush is Darth Vader,” he said. “Cheney is the emperor.”

Lucas was on his way to Europe and didn’t have time to elaborate in person. But he sent me this message confirming our conversation: “You know, Darth Vader is really a kid from the desert planet near Crawford, and the true evil of the universe is the emperor who pulls all the strings.”

The philosopher Eric Hoffer said “we never run fastest and farthest than when we run from ourselves.” And you, George Lucas, have been doing just that. Smug, insulated George Lucas and his inner circle of yes-men, licking his boots with Jabba like tongues, severely damaged the awesomeness of the Star Wars franchise, and the Jar-Jar Binksian black mark left behind is just one symptom of a great endeavor gone horribly wrong.  The reason why George Lucas is so quick on the draw to label other people an evil Sith Lord is because deep down he knows he has become the Sith Lord of the Star Wars universeGary Kurtz just reiterates what we’ve all known for quite some time:

…1980 was also the year that Kurtz and Lucas realized the Jedi universe wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

“I could see where things were headed,” Kurtz said. “The toy business began to drive the [Lucasfilm] empire. It’s a shame. They make three times as much on toys as they do on films. It’s natural to make decisions that protect the toy business, but that’s not the best thing for making quality films.”

He added: “The first film and ‘Empire’ were about story and character, but I could see that George’s priorities were changing…The emphasis on the toys, it’s like the cart driving the horse…If it wasn’t for that the films would be done for their own merits. The creative team wouldn’t be looking over their shoulder all the time.”

George Lucas, the liberal elitist who likes to hob-knob with Maureen Dowd at Obama inaugural parties before jet-setting off to Europe (hurrrrm), sacrifices the integrity of the characters for the cash cow that is little plastic Hasbro toys and Lego Phantom Menace set pieces? Interesting.  As a proud capitalist, I fully endorse George Lucas’ right to morph into a human version of Watto. If Star Wars fans want to shell out large chunks of change for the second-hand creative goods created since Return of the Jedi, God bless them and God bless George Lucas.

With that said, it should be strenuously stated that the same guy who talks about Dick Cheney “pulling the strings” during the Bush administration is the same guy who pulls the strings of hand-picked yes men in the empire he created (only instead of Slave Leia look-a-likes chained in a basement, he probably has overweight computer programmers doing his bidding in some dark, musty cubicles at Skywalker Ranch…)

Look at George Bush’s proposals for Social Security reform, or examine how much he’s responsible for “stimulus” spending (that didn’t stimulate much of anything). Now look at President Obama’s passed legislation on Health Care and his track record on “stimulus” spending. President Obama’s power grabs and deficits puts “W” to shame (in only two years!) and yet…silence from Lucas. Perhaps that’s because there’s a new game or toy line coming out? Who knows.

George Bush is at home at his ranch clearing brush while President Obama is engaging in the very kind of Secret Wars George Lucas fretted about not too long ago. Meanwhile, Lucas is still very much “pulling the strings” of his very own Merchandising Sarlacc Pit Monster, sucking up the disposable income of fans everywhere—the kind of fans who want another plastic incarnation of Jimmy Smits (i.e., Bail Organa) in a flying car, instead of character development, solid writing, and decent acting.

Nuff’ said.

Updates: Head on over to hotair to check out an alternate beginning to Return of the Jedi that, yes, I admit is pretty cool… and if this doesn’t convince you he’s turned to the Dark Side nothing will.

George Lucas criticizes others for destroying the integrity of things, and then he decides the world needs to see Jimmy Smits in a flying car...