Tim Tebow a Patriot: The Jake Lockers of the world have a job, so give him a chance

Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow is going to the Patriots, and I couldn’t be happier for the guy. I’ve been rooting for Tebow ever since weird irrational hatred of him started. Every year there are guys who are in the league who shouldn’t be, and yet with Tebow it always seemed that a large contingent of people are out there actively rooting for him to get the boot.

There’s more I’d like to say, but since I’m desperately trying to nurse myself back to health in record time after a stupid “back” mishap. (Someone got cocky, lost his form on a set of dead lifts and paid the price. Out for a few days, I think.) … I’m handing off the ball to my good friend Denver Pat. He sums up many of things I was thinking, but could not articulate because a.) his football knowledge is light years beyond mine and b.) because it’s hard to write when you’re alternating between constant stretching exercises and a heating pad.

Denver Pat on Tebow heading to the Patriots:

I like Tebow’s character and work ethic, so I’m happy he found a spot. However, my thoughts are probably more football slanted as opposed to his character:

The Patriots have a relatively highly touted backup in Ryan Mallett that they have been grooming for the last couple years. Mallett needs to fail to show promise or Tebow will struggle to get a roster spot after the final cuts because teams only dress two quarterbacks. Teams often keep a third on the practice squad, who they sign to the real team in the event of an injury. Tebow has said he is only playing as a quarterback, so you either dress him for “wildcat” plays, or situations where both he and Brady are on the field, and only promote Mallett in case Brady goes down. This would be a weird situation where the #2 quarterback doesn’t dress because of Tebow’s versatility, yet he would inherit the majority of snaps if Brady gets hurt — leapfrogging Tebow on the depth chart.

The other option is not to dress Tebow and just let him learn. I’m not sure either Mallet or Tebow would find those scenarios positive. Why make the splash of signing Tebow if you aren’t going to use him? Part of me thinks Bill wants this to work to further stick it to the Jets (see, we figured a way to work Tebow in the game!) because those two franchises hate each other. There’s a long history of stealing coaches and players from each other, and it was the Jets who reported Bill to NFL officials on the “spy gate” scandal. Bill himself was the Jet coach for 3 days, mysteriously quits, and resurfaces the next week as the new Patriot coach… I might be reading into this aspect and creating a story that’s not really there, but again I point to history.

I will be more excited if Tebow actually makes the team. What someone has to explain to me, however, is how Tebow has a winning record and a playoff win — and  yet, with the God-awful quarterbacking of the Cardinals, Titans, Jets themselves, Jaguars, and frankly the Eagles last year — none of these teams would give him a chance. Tebow can’t do any worse in the loss column than the Blaine Gabberts and Jake Lockers of the world…and as it stands now it makes good business sense. Does anyone give a poop about the Jaguars or Titans? Is it to tough to modify your play book for Tebow? The Broncos figured it out, rode him to a division title and the second round of the playoffs. “Won’t we have to retool the offensive roster for Tebow?” I would say the Saints retooled their roster when Brees arrived, and the Broncos did the same for Manning.

Bill is a smart guy. He and his coordinator (Broncos old coach that originally drafted Tebow) truly believe they can teach him mechanics; I hope they are right and I hope he gets a legitimate shot; because I think the Jets screwed up in the sense that Sanchez has turned the ball over an insane amount of times the last few seasons; one thing even detractors will agree — Tebow doesn’t turn the ball over; the jets had no offense with Sanchez — why not give Tebow the shot? Why waste the time of a much ballyhooed signing if you aren’t going to use him? Moves like this are why the Jets are historically stupid.

Tebow won’t be Manning/Brady/Brees; but he has a winning record and a playoff win all before the age of 25; I think someone can give him a shot….plus, Tebow has never butt-fumbled!

So there you have it. With yours truly on the disabled list, Denver Pat nicely picks up the ball and runs with it. Well done.

Has Tim Tebow ever butt-fumbled? Answer: No. Give the guy a chance. He deserves it.
Has Tim Tebow ever butt-fumbled like Mark Sanchesz? Answer: No. Give the guy a chance. He deserves it.

Grant Morrison vs. Tim Tebow: Rolling Stone’s Metaphysical Double Standard?

Grant Morrison's "most outlandish thoughts" pay for his existence. He finds it bizarre that "thoughts you may have had in 1994 on an Ecstasy tab can turn into money, which turns into houses, which turns into cat food. It's the Yukon in our brain, it's a gold rush, it's all sitting there, and it's worth money." I wouldn't have it any other way.

“I’m still trying to not sound like an insane person,” says Grant Morrison in his recent interview with Rolling Stone’s Brian Hiatt. One: The article, The Psychedelic Superhero, is amazing. Two: If you don’t know who Grant Morrison is, he’s a comic book writer who happens to be much more than a comic book writer—and generally pretty awesome. Love him or hate him, he is a force.

With that said, I don’t think he’s insane. I’m not an advocate of the lifestyle he leads, per se, but I do not think he’s insane. I do, however, think Rolling Stone and liberal media outlets have a very interesting double standard, though, when it comes to “The Great Beyond.”

Tim Tebow believing in Christ? Crucify him (in print, at least). Begrudgingly acknowledge the guy’s talent, but forward the notion that Christians are all a bunch of dim-witted, racist, bigoted homophobes. Then Youtube something by Christopher Hitchens to wash it all down and assure yourself that anyone who believes in a reality that transcends our five senses’ ability to interpret it is an idiot.

Grant Morrison comes to the very same conclusion—there’s stuff out that’s beyond human comprehension and there’s no way he can prove it—by taking a completely different path, and he’s the coolest guy alive.

Know of any millionaire occultists? You do now:

Morrison hasn’t felt any malevolent presence in his house, but he’s pretty sure he’s met a few demons over the years. Morrison considers himself a magician, and not the rabbits-from-hats kind – magick with a “k” style sorcery. He’s been conducting occult rituals since age 19, summoning various entities and gods and such – ranging from a flaming lion’s head to what he believes to have been the spirit of John Lennon, who he says, gave him a song…

In Katmandu, he had a spiritual experience that has guided his work ever since, a revelatory vision from some kind of fifth-dimensional perspective. He saw the universe from the outside, met silvery blob-like entities who explained the connectedness of all life on Earth. “I felt it was a higher intelligence, and there’s no proof it wasn’t,” he says. “I remember space and time being just a flat surface.”

I have no desire to summon demons or meet silvery blob-like entities; I’m patient. I’m confident I’m going to die (understatement of the year award?), so I won’t be spending my life looking for peepholes into the afterlife. Grant is into that, and more power to him. What irks me is that even among atheists there seems to be an unspoken rule where Christians are zeroed in on and everyone else gets a free pass. Islamic radicals that stone women and kill gay men in the Middle East? Yawn. Comic book artists that look for demons? Eh. Christian guy who thanks God for blessing him with athletic prowess and, more importantly, life? It’s game time, baby! Let’s get this joke parade marching!

Read the entire article (or a few issues of Rolling Stone), and the genesis for the double-standard becomes apparent—it’s all about the politics. Leftist politics will get you a pass every time, whether you’re a Christian, a Buddhist, or an acid-dropping badmammajamma comic book writer.

Still wondering about that Beatles song? Behold:

“I put all the Beatles albums in a circle, wore my clothes from the band, tight trousers, Beatles boots, had a Rickenbacker guitar, and I had ‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ on a loop and I just played it, and I took this tiny lick of acid, just to give an edge. Basically, I got this image, this thing, like a huge Lennon head made out of music. It gave me a song – it’s a pretty convincing John Lennon song.”…

Morrison whips out a guitar and plays the song given to him by the floating Lennon head. “Keep taking the pill/Keep reading the books/Keep looking for signs that somebody loves you,” he sings in a rough tenor. The audience laughs at first, then falls silent. He gets to the bridge – “One and one and one makes two/If you really want it to.” – and the melody suddenly sounds like it could be on the White Album, or at least pass for Oasis.

Ah yes, “One and one and one make two…if you really want it to.” That actually would be true if everyone wanted it to be true. Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. What happens in this plane of reality is that some people think that way and what you wind up with is 15 trillion dollars of U.S. debt racked up and no one to pay the bill (in part because they’re not born yet).

While Rolling Stone is generally a liberal-hack rag, they do occasionally do some cool stuff. The Psychedelic Superhero is one such instance. And, truth be told, Grant didn’t get completely off the hook; the “Oasis” line was a bit of a dig… Check it out if you get a chance.