Meghan McCain: Your One Stop Shop for Flaccid Writing.

It must be weird being Meghan McCain, knowing that the only reason anyone pays any attention to her is because she makes a living criticizing conservatives. In her most recent column, interspersed between insipid ramblings, are the gems that keep her invites to The View coming:

    • “At the same time, Sarah Palin accused Cain of being the “flavor of the week,” and this is one of the rare times I agree with her.” (i.e., let me remind everyone that I’m a “Republican,” but I think Sarah Palin is an idiot too! It’s okay—I’m cool!)
    • “The Republicans are suffering from what Bill Maher recently dubbed a “promiscuous” problem with our candidates. We keep having one-night stands with politicians we think we only want to marry, and then get cold feet.” (i.e., I watch Bill Maher and use his hilariously-deep analysis. It’s okay–I’m cool!)
    • “But let’s face reality: as much as even I can find myself developing warm feelings toward Cain because he seems like a nice, charming and normal person, if that were the only qualifications for president, we should be nominating Zach Galifianakis.”(i.e., I reference movies stars and I’m a “Republican” It’s okay—I’m cool!)

Actually, Zach seems like a bit of a jerk and certainly not normal by most standards. Time magazine nailed it:

It’s not just that the guy was rude. It’s also that Galifianakis actually dislikes his audience — both the frat-boy fans who dot Vegas casinos in T-shirts bearing his face and his socially awkward Hangover character’s self-description, “One Man Wolfpack,” and the fellow hipsters who go to see him at alternative-comedy clubs. In one recurring bit, he plays the piano until he hears people talk, at which point he walks over to them and screams at them to shut up. “My whole attitude is, You can’t think of funny s**t yourself? You have to come watch me?” he says, (emphasis added).

Zach Galifianakis stars in movies like The Hangover and The Hangover Part II, and then wonders why he’s popular. Meghan McCain only gets a larger megaphone because her dad is famous and she’s a friendly-fire fiasco waiting to happen, and then she wonders why conservatives don’t like her.

But that’s not what this post is about. It’s about what an unimaginative, bland writer she is.

Read it. Nothing denotes a love of the written word or the craft of argument. Nothing indicates she’s willing to do top notch research. Nothing indicates she’s interested in unearthing a new angle that no one else has seen. There isn’t any lexical wizardry going on, or rhetorical sleight of hand. The only indicators of care and effort come from attempts to convince the Bill Mahers of the world she’s “cool” enough to enter into their social circles. All Meghan McCain accomplishes are invitations to appear on the television shows of today’s  bile belchers, and a tacit agreement not to tell her how much they hate her to her face.

Sarah Palin regularly echoes the economic common sense spelled out by the living legend Thomas Sowell, and yet Meghan only finds “rare times” to agree with her? Okay…

Here’s some advice for the liberal media: If you’re going to prey on a faux conservative desperate for attention, make it someone with Mark Steyn’s wit and wisdom. Now that would be dangerous. Meghan? She’s the “Alan” of political bloggers (and I’m not talking about Black Jack playing Rain Man Alan, either).

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Liberal Professors’ Weapon X Attempt Goes Horribly Wrong: @douglasernst Created.

At one time I didn’t consider myself a conservative. I just wanted to have my own “Rebel Without a Crew” story. And then my liberal professors slipped up in the inculcation process. The result: A new member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy was born.

One of the great things about my day job is that I often get to talk to people about how they formulated their worldview, and why they believe what they believe.  Over the past year I’ve heard some fascinating stories.  However, thinking about it last weekend made me realize that I haven’t as of yet shared some of the more pertinent details of my own past with my readers.  I think it’s only fair that I divulge some of the back story, if for no other reason than to shed some light on as to how I ended up where I am today.

Long story short: I wasn’t always conservative.  In fact, years ago I just wanted to move out to California and write screenplays and make movies.  I wanted to do the kinds of things behind the camera that Robert Rodriguez did.  I wanted to write screenplays with snappy dialogue and memorable characters like a young Kevin Smith. I didn’t care about public policy for the most part because I was just interested in figuring out how I was going to be a Rebel Without A Crew.

Fresh out of the Army, I began attending classes.  It wasn’t soon after 9/11 that my college professors would start lecturing me about the “real” military, which was so far removed from what I had experienced that I had no choice but to deem them all idiots…or liars.  One professor was even bold enough to joke, “Only redneck Republican hicks who are happy to get a free pair of boots join the Army.” It was at this point that I decided to investigate all the colors of the political spectrum.  After realizing that there were bright, vivid shades that were being blatantly ignored, I made it my personal quest to research them on my own.  And so began the transformation of someone who would have considered himself a default Democrat into a card-carrying member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

One of the most influential characters in my life, and he’ll probably never even know it, was Thomas Sowell.  As I said, once my professors started lying to me about who joined the military and what life was like inside it, I took it upon myself to research conservative opinions I might otherwise be missing.  Basic Economics, Applied Economics, and The Vision of the Anointed were all books that changed my life.  Not only were the arguments within them something I had never been exposed to, but it showed once again that, at best, I was getting conservative straw men from the paid “intellectuals” who were supposed to expose me to history’s best and brightest.   I didn’t mind that my professors were liberal, but I did mind that I was paying them (not with mommy and daddy’s money, but with my own), to essentially inculcate me.  That didn’t sit well.

Had I not been in the military, there’s a good chance I would have believed what my professors had said (like many of the other young, impressionable kids).   Perhaps I’d be living in Los Angeles right now, writing screenplays and working within the film industry.  I’m not sure if other aspects of my personality would have eventually taken me down a conservative path, but it’s undeniable that the surreptitious way with which class was conducted changed my perception of liberalism.

For now, I hope this clarifies some of the questions I’ve been asked over the past year by friends I’ve met within the conservative movement.  Right now I look at upper education as a place where tenured professors and administrators have their own pseudo-Weapon X programs, attempting to churn out liberal super mutants that will rule over the next generation’s political landscape.  And, while the humble nerd inside me would never dare compare myself to Wolverine, I can’t help but think of myself as the mutant that went off the reservation.  I’d say I’m more of a Deadpool type, but then again, I’m not for hire.  My beliefs are firmly rooted in one camp…  I’ll have to think about it, but if there are any other conservative comic nerds out there, let me know what you come up with.  I’m sure I’ll eventually hear a good zinger or two from a liberal.  If it’s even remotely tactful I’ll post it.

Until then, make mine Marvel.

Liberal professors constantly try to create a liberal Weapon X each semester, but every once in awhile one goes off the reservation…

Cheap Trick: Dream Police. Indonesia: Jean Police!

Cheap Trick had the Dream Police. Indonesia has the Jean Police!

Today I was thinking back to my college days, when liberal professors tried to tell me that all cultures were “equal” (whatever that means). Then I ran across the Indonesian Pants Banning of 2010 article:

During raids Thursday, Islamic police caught 18 women traveling on motorbikes who were wearing traditional headscarves but were also dressed in jeans.

I find it interesting that I don’t see many stories of raids of suspected High Value Target terrorists coming out of Indonesia, but the boot-cut Jeans Police using jackboot tactics on women has its turf covered.

Am I being an ethnocentric fool? I mean, who am I to criticize Sharia Law’s

This girl targeted by the Jean Police. Crime: Not looking like a burlap sack filled with potatoes...or a Huggies diaper that a baby just did its business in.

hierarchy of evilness when it comes to the latest cuts of denim? If matchstick, bootcut, trousers, overalls, and minnie are all styles that require “raids” in Indonesia, who am I to say it’s wrong? Let’s read on, shall we:

Aceh, a semiautonomous region, made news last year when its provincial parliament passed an Islamic, or Shariah, law making adultery punishable by stoning to death.

Hmmm. This is a tough one. I’m glad I’m not in college any longer, because I can’t quite wrap my mind around the idea that a society that pummels women with stones until clear brain matter oozes out their nose and ears is operating on the same moral plane as the United States (and I haven’t even touched on what a woman’s word against her accuser is worth in Islamic courts).

I suppose this post will eventually get a stoning-defender in the comments section, but then again it will probably come from an individual who thinks it’s cool Hamas occasionally let’s women out of the basement for an hour of fresh air.

The United States is the greatest country on the face of the Earth. As Doc Zero says, that’s “not the same thing as declaring it flawless, or demeaning other nations as worthless,” but the freedoms and liberties we have here are light years beyond large swathes of the globe. What conservatives need is someone who can intelligently articulate this truth to the rest of the country without sounding like a Seth MacFarlane parody. In the hands of an amateur, trying to convince strangers who have been marinated in liberal thought since elementary school is recipe for disaster. We need to know why we believe what we believe—and that means studying up on the best and brightest of conservative thought throughout history. Anyone who knows me knows I’m a huge advocate of Thomas Sowell as a starting point, although finding the right books shouldn’t be too difficult if you’re a go-getting conservative.

Now get out there, buy some jeans, break them in, and then close out the day with a good book (preferably by Thomas Sowell).

I might be archived footage of Michael Jackson's kid, or I might be a woman who would wear jeans if not for the Indonesian Jean Police denim crackdown. Both realities are bizarre.

Rush Limbaugh has God Inside Him.

Rush Limbaugh has God inside him (and so do you).

If that’s too much for you to swallow (without actually thinking about it), then I suggest reading my post on Iron Man for a watered down version of the ideas I’m about to write about, as well as what makes America great. However, if you’re willing to entertain the idea, then read on.

Years ago, straight out of the military and with no political affiliation, I went to college. Before encountering liberal professors who claimed, “Only redneck Republican hicks who are happy to get a free pair of boots join the military,” prompted me to start looking into conservatism, there was this guy on the radio who made me laugh by turning Elvis’ “In the Ghetto” into an Al Gore Global Warming parody titled “In A Yugo.” His name was Rush Limbaugh. He hooked me with humor, but it wasn’t long before he introduced me to his more substantive side with appeals to intellectual giants like Thomas Sowell, Walter E. Williams, and Friedrich Hayek. Through his radio show I was encouraged to pick up Paine’s Common Sense, J.S. Mill’s On Liberty, Tocqueville’s Democracy in America, as well as books by Natan Sharansky and Dinesh D’Souza.

What does all of this have to do with God? Or Rush Limbaugh? Simple. It’s impossible for anyone to read the catalog of thought mentioned above without coming to the conclusion that each and every one of us is in possession of God-given talents we can harness to contribute to the creation of a better world. It’s also near-impossible for someone to read the works of those authors without doing a little soul-searching of their own.

There are people out there who decry Rush Limbaugh and any number of out-of-context quotes taken from his radio show on a daily basis, but the fact remains that he inspires millions of people to take control of their lives.  When someone realizes that they’re here for a purpose and that they control their own destiny—as opposed to unprincipled politicians in Washington, DC—an awesome transformation happens.

Rush Limbaugh is one of the most positive personalities alive today, contrary to what the talking heads at MSNBC say. Sure, he’s pessimistic about public figures who want to “plan” every aspect of your life, but he’s inspirational when it comes to empowering the individual.  And Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann and the New York Times can’t stand that.

God didn’t put you on this earth to sit back and abdicate the most important decisions in your life to some third party whose only real worry is how they’re going to get reelected. You’re here because you’re worthwhile.  You’re here because work is a virtue, and nothing is more satisfying than finding out what you love to do and then doing it for your family, the community, and the world at large.  No matter what Rush Limbaugh’s faults (and we all have faults), his consistent efforts to educate Americans in self-determination, liberty, and individual freedoms will pay dividends for decades to come.

What would the trajectory of my life have been if I had never turned on the radio and listened to Rush all those years ago?  I’m not sure. I think my family, my faith, as well as my time in the military instilled values in me that would have served me well regardless of my midday radio preferences.  But, I think it’s safe to say that the liberal mind-forged manacles my professors encouraged me to willingly slip into would have been around for a lot longer. And that would have been a shame because life is precious, but life is short. It seems as though the older I get the more I realize how little time we really have to leave our mark upon the world. And while we can have a positive impact on humanity at any age, it’s sad to think of all those wasted moments and missed opportunities we can never get back.

We all have saints inside us, and we’re all sinners. The challenge is to bring the former to the forefront much more often than not. Rush has done that, and he’s inspired millions to follow in his footsteps. And for that I’m thankful. Worst Person in the World, Keith Olbermann? I beg to differ.

No go out there, and make a difference.

Rush Limbaugh: Introducing us to the best and brightest intellectual minds for decades. Challenging you to find the best inside yourself for decades.

Joy Behar: Why read Thomas Sowell When I can Look Perpetually Constipated Pretending to be Smart?

Joy Behar

It’s been awhile, but I finally get to write a post on Joy” I perpetually look constipated” Behar. Today, at long last, the source of her liberalism was revealed:

CBS News anchor: Where did this liberal streak come from?

JOY BEHAR: It comes from, uh, being smart.

But of course! How could I have overlooked something so self-evident! One doesn’t heighten their intellectual horizons by reading Thomas Sowell or Thomas Paine or Adam Smith or Friedrich Hayek and on and on and on… No, dear friend, your liberalism is a gift, God-given genes embedded only in the best and brightest of us. And with that superior grey-matter circuitry liberals possess comes the ability to be “open-minded.”

BEHAR: Listen, I have my prejudices, you know, too. I think that people who are liberal are more open-minded. That’s all. I just believe that. You know, you can argue with that all you want—you can say, ‘Oh, conservative people are open-minded,’ and I don’t agree with that. I don’t.

And Behar’s right. Liberals are more open minded. Look at the “intellectuals” she pals around with on The View—they’re so open minded that they can parse “rape” from “rape rape”! I admit, as a conservative, that I couldn’t look at a guy who pumped up a 13 year old girl with drugs and alcohol before raping her and say that it wasn’t “rape-rape.” Unlike Roman Polanski I’ll admit it: Guilty as charged.

Likewise, liberals are so “open minded” that they can see how complicated the word ‘is’ is. And–they can look at a lying woman willing to destroy the career of life-long NYC cops by claiming she was raped while covered in dog feces…and see a Holocaust victim forced to “sit down in front of Mr. Hitler,” (Yes, I’m talking about liberal “leader” and Joy Behar mind-meld soul mate Al Sharpton).

For further reading, you can see how “open-minded” liberal Supreme Court Justices can find penumbras in emanations, or “hip hop intellectuals” hear phantom racial epithets and calls to violence where only anti-Nanny State rants fill the air.

The funny thing about those who claim to be the most open minded is that most of the time—they’re not.  Read longshoreman philosopher Eric Hoffer’s fabulous book True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements for a better understanding as to why that happens, or read up on Keith Olbermann if you’re pressed for time.

Joy, I already know you won’t be reading Eric Hoffer anytime soon. Although, that’s probably why you and your friends don’t know what the word ‘suffrage’ means. Or am I just “close-minded” and it really means whatever you want it to mean? Touché, Joy. Touché.

Conservative Peanut Butter Jelly Time: Why the Viral Video Dearth?

Have you ever wondered why people like Tay Zonday, with videos like Chocolate Rain, have had tens of millions of people watch their Youtube shorts, but Thomas Sowell unleashing a monsoon of genius has only reached tens of thousands? No? Me either. But what I do wonder is why conservatives haven’t grasped the power of the viral Youtube video and its ability to reach millions of people. If videos made with public policy undercurrents go viral, the potential of cementing ideas into the collective psyche of the American people is huge.

Right now conservative organizations with the budget to do so should be finding talented writers and film makers – particularly young people – with a feel for what the recipe would be for a politically-tinged short video with the potential to blow up online. Yes, the pool of talented young, conservative entertainment-minded folks is going to be small, and thus harder to find them, but the urgency is still there.

Where are the Conservative Peanut Butter Jelly Time tinged videos? Let's get with the program. Seriously.

If you think we can’t learn a thing or two from a bunch of guys skateboarding in fat-suits to Sir Mix-A-Lot, you’re wrong. Granted, I think the Obama administration may have learned the wrong lesson when it allowed one of those guys, Tony Hawk, to tear it up in the Old Executive Office Building for Father’s Day… even if they were right in trying to do something fun for the occasion.

Right now the elitist conservative Beltway bubble crowd is probably holding their nose, if they’re still even reading, so I’ll throw them a bone in a way they’d understand: When Kingdon talks of public policy “primordial soup,” and all the bits and pieces and ingredients involved in creating an opportunity for legislation to pass, it should be noted that the cultural broth is most certainly seasoned, to some extent, with popular culture. It’s undeniable. I suggest taking part. It’s certainly possible to have class and popular culture in one package; just ask Mark Steyn.

The problem with elitist policy-wonks is that they hold themselves up as a winner no matter what happens to the United States. Let me explain:

  • If things don’t go their way, they pat themselves on the back and say “Well, I’m just too smart for the yokels and they don’t get it, so the heck with them.”
  • If conservatives are elected – even if in reality the elitists had little to no part in it – they still find a way to take credit, pat themselves on the back, and say, “Good show, old chap,” before downing a Gin Rickey.

We need to think outside the box. And while I’m happy with the inroads conservatives have made with New Media (which isn’t so new anymore), I think there is much more work to be done. But I think we’d be better off taking cues from the Mark Steyns of the world instead of your local David Frum any day of the week. Think about it over some pork and beans.

Confront Moral Relativism and…Do it Live!

Over the past few years we’ve heard a lot about “corporate greed.” Apparently, all those guys inventing technology that raises the standard of living for tens-of-millions of people around the globe are also going to be the cause of America’s ultimate demise. (For those nerds out there, this is like Marvel Comics’ reverse claim that the same serum that killed Harry Osborn…saved him.) But I digress. And I’ll put aside the blog post that explains how it’s really Christmas holiday public policy drops and the ideas floated about by boneheads in Congress that warp market incentives and exacerbate human beings’ base instincts. The market harnesses human “greed” and redirects it in ways that benefit society. For further reading I suggest Dinesh D’Souza’s fabulous book The Virtual of Prosperity: Finding Values in the Age of Techno-Affluence.

Today, I’d like to focus more on what for now I’ll just deem Spiritual Greed. This is something that is much more dangerous to society than a corporate CEO giving himself and his buddies a “golden parachute.” And it’s most-readily planted inside you by the moral relativism espoused by liberals.

If you don’t believe there are objective truths that can be self-evident, you find yourself in a world where fellow Americans actually make the case for a “living Constitution” (or as Thomas Sowell notes, a dying Constitution.

Multi-culturalism, moral relativism, and a me, me, me, mentality pushed by the entertainment industry come together in a toxic soup to produce things like Bush-Hitler elementary school projects, chat room users who encourage suicide like crazed-sideline sports fans, and large swathes of society asserting “all cultures are the same” when that is certainly not the case.

Corporations do have responsibilities to surrounding communities. I don’t dispute that. But when the moral fabric of society falls apart like Weezer’s sweater because its left flank is okay with being a nation of narcissists, they shouldn’t be surprised by the wreckage left behind.

Whenever a liberal politician tries to split the nation into “Two Americas,” – private sector vs. public sector – before demonizing entrepreneurs and businessmen, take a real close look before making any decisions.

I’m not an angel (the Lord knows that). I’ve made my mistakes. But the difference between a liberal and a conservative is that deep down the conservative knows when he’s wrong. The conservative acknowledges that he’s fallible and tries to rise above it. Liberalism, by contrast, encourages you to sit in a cesspool of self indulgence and depravity without even knowing it.

We need to fight this. And all of the outgrowth spawned from it. And we need to do it live.

Al Gore thinks He’s Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap. He’s Not.

If even the shareholders at Apple are calling him joke, I’m not sure if many more Al Gore blog posts on him are needed. As the good folks at Hotair point out, it’s rather interesting that a man who views himself as an “instrument of human redemption” (Yes Al, you are a tool…) doesn’t like answering questions. This, coupled with the IPCC’s ongoing troubles stemming from another debacle, in which the world’s leading scientists thought global warming was so important to the survival of mankind that they threw out their raw data, does not bode well for the president that never was.

Scientists keep detailed records on the immune systems of dung beetles, but apparently Al Gore’s number crunchers, who are willing to shell out $1200 to not shake his hand, thought throwing out raw data was consistent with the scientific method when the statistics keep giving you headaches.

In this case I think the most interesting thing to take away is the instrument of human redemption line. It’s not that I don’t think laws can be used to right wrongs like Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap, but I do have an issue with small groups of elites that think they can plan complex economies based on a few computer models and the word of their friends who–again–throw out raw data the rest of us could use to cross-check their claims. And besides, we know Scott Bakula, and you sir Mr. Gore, are no Scott Bakula!

I HIGHLY SUGGEST reading living legend Thomas Sowell’s The Vision of the Anointed. It will change you life.

On Colbert, Geddy Lee, and Conservatives.

I was going to do a post on Joy Behar’s perpetual “gas face” and what it means, but then I read this story and I lost my appetite for Behar ruminations. Instead, I’d like to talk about the conservative “Rock Problem.” Congressman McCotter seems to get it. And it seems as though there are a few others who understand. But, by and large, conservatives have a hard time using all the wonderful tools in the pop-culture toolbox that can dismantle liberalism and build a lasting conservative majority.

How hard is it to take apart Bush-bashing four-chord playing hypocrites? (Granted, they play those four chords very well…but you know what I’m saying.)

Why can’t we read The Conscience of a Conservative by day and rock out to The Silversun Pickups at night? Or Stone Temple Pilots’ Core? Or maybe just go all original emo and admit to crying while listening to The Cure’s Boys Don’t Cry? (Okay, maybe not that last one.)

It’s bothersome to me that more conservatives can’t find ways to explain the genius of living legend Thomas Sowell by using the occasional reference to Jim Lee’s take on Batman. Or one of the greatest video games of all time.

There is no legitimate reason why legions of left wing seminar callers should come across as cooler than their conservative counterparts.

And speaking of Counterparts, I better cut to the chase before I lose you. In short, if you thought I was a loser for having random intimate knowledge of Canadian rockers Rush, then perhaps you should also ask yourself why the kiddies watch Colbert while no one watched The 1/2 Hour News Hour.