Stallone, Barack Obama, Marvel Comics and the Very Real Secret War.

Stallone rocks. Why? Because unlike most of Hollywood, he knows the world has some pretty scary characters in it.

Do I write a post about Stallone’s new flick The Expendables, or do I cover the Obama administration’s Secret War tactics in the War on Terror? How about…both!

In the new trailer The Expendables, Stallone’s voiceover begins:

“We are the shadows…and the smoke in your eyes. We are the ghosts…that hide in the night.”

What does this mean? It means that the world is a dangerous place, and sometimes we need people to go in an clean up messes the civilized world would like to pretend don’t exist. Think the BP oil spill is a threat to humanity? Okay. But oily terrorists operating in lawless regions around the world can also cause messy explosions, gushers (of blood) on city streets, and black-charred coatings where beautiful things used to stand…

Sometimes, someone like George Bush comes around and is willing to openly talk

about the world’s scum buckets and dirt bags who’d like nothing better than to make Americans take dirt naps in densely populated urban areas. And people get angry, because if you acknowledge how susceptible free societies are to jihad nuts with a desire to return to the dark ages…it means you have a lot of tough decisions to make.

Even liberal writers like Brian Michael Bendis seem to know (really, really, deep down) that we live in a world where a Secret War or two or three or more…is being waged between competing visions for humanity’s future. The only problem is, when guys like George W. Bush are in office, liberal comic book writers come up with weird Bush-Gitmo allegories that inadvertently make the case for conservatism!

Can someone tell me when Brian Michael Bendis is going to lampoon Barack Obama in the comics for the very real “Secret War” that he’s apparently taken to another level? Don’t hold your breath:

Beneath its commitment to soft-spoken diplomacy and beyond the combat zones of Afghanistan and Iraq, the Obama administration has significantly expanded a largely secret U.S. war against al-Qaeda and other radical groups, according to senior military and administration officials..Obama, one senior military official said, has allowed “things that the previous administration did not.”

How many young voters pulled the lever for Barack Obama under the liberal auspices that we can live in harmony with jihadi head choppers if we just try really hard to “understand” and “reach” them? (My favorite is Richard Gere’s infamous post-9/11 suggestion that guys like Osama Bin Laden just need to be loved.)

It’s all a lie. The world is a dangerous place. Evil exists, despite what the Neal Gabler moral relativist Mole Men tell you. And it’s better to be honest and frank about that, because otherwise you create bizarre realities where “peace activists” (who try to slice through your liver with gigantor-knives when their cargo is about to be inspected) can play the victim-card. You also have scenarios play out where young people say, “Umm…what happened to all that hopeandchange?” (Yes, that’s one word):

The Obama administration has rejected the constitutional executive authority claimed by Bush and has based its lethal operations on the authority Congress gave the president in 2001 to use “all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons” he determines “planned, authorized, committed, or aided” the Sept. 11 attacks.

Many of those currently being targeted, Bellinger said, “particularly in places outside Afghanistan,” had nothing to do with the 2001 attacks.

Weren’t there a lot of Democrats that voted for that? Hmmm. Nevermind.

The hopeandchange never materialized because it was never there. I bet the kiddies are feeling pretty numb, right now. It’s okay Thunder Kiss, conservatism will welcome you with open arms when the reality hits that it’s a strange, strange world (incompatible with “planned” economies and Youtube Diplomacy).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Stallone trailer to watch.

Hey Bendis, do you mind telling me when you’re going to roast Barack Obama for his Secret War? Want to weigh in, Marvel? Didn’t think so. Hypocrites. Deep down, all of these guys are furious that George W. Bush is going to be largely vindicated.

Jesse James: Bush is jerk. PS: I Cheated on my Wife, Sandra Bullock, with a Dominatrix.

Do you remember when Sandra Bullock’s husband, Jesse James, called George Bush a d*ckhead? I do:

“Everyone in Iraq knows Bush is a d**khead. He’s the boss’ kid. Everybody I know who has a successful business who has a kid – the kid is always a f**khead. Have you ever noticed that?”

Do you know what I’ve noticed, Jesse? The Hollywood and entertainment community-types that have been the most strident with their anti-Bush rhetoric over the years often tend to have interesting personal lives.

Let me guess-Jesse James, the same guy who hooks up with a dominatrix in his garage, while his wife is filming on location, is probably adamant that waterboarding KSM or other al Qaeda terrorists is torture, right?

Normally, I don’t like to get tabloid-y in my blog, but here I can’t resist:

After taking Michelle on a tour of his garage, Jesse brought her into his office and locked the door. “We ended up on the couch,” she says. “He wanted to watch movies, but I asked him, ‘What’s going on with you and Sandra?'” Jesse was evasive. “He said, ‘She doesn’t live here. She has a house in Austin. She is filming, and I can’t talk about it.'” Assuming he and Sandra were separated, Michelle continued talking to Jesse, she says, and then, “We had intimate relations.”

Jesse James is great with choppers, but apparently he has the “game” of a middle schooler. In the garage? On the couch watching movies? I wonder if James popped in a copy of Demolition Man and hooked up with his mistress while Sandra Bullock was doing so (futuristically) with Stallone. Maybe in his mind she cheated on him first!

Speaking of choppers and expendables, have you seen the new trailer for Stallone’s 80’s throwback action movie? Even if it’s bad it’s going to be good. Too bad we can’t say that for Jesse “Bush is a d*ckhead, but my wife is expendable” James.

If my wife is intimate with Stallone in an action flick set in the future, does that let me off the hook for cheating on her in real life with a dominatrix? Just checking.