‘1980s are now calling’ mockery of Romney haunts Obama: Putin takes control in Syria

Obama Romney 80s joke

It was only a few short years ago that President Obama openly mocked Mitt Romney for saying Russia was the greatest geopolitical threat to the America. Certain segments of the media thought his “zinger” was downright hilarious. Fast forward three years and Vladimir Putin has annexed Crimea, is primed to do the same in eastern Ukraine, and put himself in the driver’s seat in Syria.

The Huffington Post reported Oct. 22, 2012:

During the presidential debate on Monday evening, President Barack Obama deployed a Seinfeldian zinger to mock former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, the Republican presidential nominee. Romney had said that al Qaeda and other terrorist groups are “rushing in” as revolutions shake up the Muslim world.

“Gov. Romney, I’m glad that you recognize that al Qaeda is a threat,” Obama said, “because a few months ago when you were asked what’s the biggest geopolitical threat facing America, you said Russia.”

“The 1980s are now calling to ask for their foreign policy back because the Cold War’s been over for 20 years,” Obama said.

What Mr. Obama didn’t realize is that the Cold War never ended for Vladimir Putin, which is odd because the Russian’s public statements have always made that very clear.

Reuters reported Thursday, Oct 1, 2015:

Hundreds of Iranian troops have arrived in Syria to join a major ground offensive on behalf of President Bashar al-Assad’s government, sources said on Thursday, a further sign of the rapid internationalization of a civil war in which every major country in the region has a stake.

Russian warplanes bombed a camp run by rebels trained by the CIA, the group’s commander said, putting Moscow and Washington on opposing sides in a Middle East conflict for the first time since the Cold War.

The U.S. and Russian militaries will hold talks at 11 a.m. EDT via video link to seek ways to keep their militaries apart as they wage parallel campaigns of air strikes in Syria, a U.S. defense official said.

Russian jets struck targets near the cities of Hama and Homs in western Syria on the second day of their surprise air campaign, which they launched on Wednesday.

Moscow said it had hit Islamic State positions, but the area where it struck is held by a rival insurgent alliance, which unlike Islamic State is supported by U.S. allies including Arab states and Turkey.

The problem with the Obama administration is that America’s adversaries around the globe telegraph exactly what their intentions are, and yet Mr. Obama and his hand-picked staff refuse to take them at their word.

Arizona Sen. John McCain pointed out this strange behavior out Wednesday on MSNBC with Andrea Mitchell:

John Kerry and his spokesperson said it is not clear what Russia’s intentions are. It was perfectly clear what Russia’s intentions are!”

A flashback to July 21 shows Kerry was also confused by Iran’s vow to undermine U.S. policy, which was made immediately after agreeing to a nuclear “deal” with the Obama administration.

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said a speech by Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei on Saturday vowing to defy American policies in the region despite a deal with world powers over Tehran’s nuclear program was “very troubling”.

I don’t know how to interpret it at this point in time, except to take it at face value, that that’s his policy,” he said in the interview with Saudi-owned Al Arabiya television.

“But I do know that often comments are made publicly and things can evolve that are different. If it is the policy, it’s very disturbing, it’s very troubling,” he added.

Why is Mr. Kerry always confused? Perhaps it is because he mistakes U.S. fallibility (a trait of all nations) with the idea that threats exist because America is, for all intents and purposes, always at fault.

Mitt Romney knew what he was talking about in 2012, and the president sneered at him. The media laughed along with the “Seinfeldian zinger” – but the real joke was on the American people.

The only people who are laughing now are the Russians, the Iranians, the Assad regime and their allies all around the globe.

Reagan’s ‘tear down this wall’ replaced with Obama’s ‘consider our hashtag’ foreign policy


In March of 2010 I wondered why the kids who voted for President Obama thought his YouTube Diplomacy would sway the world’s worst dictators and despots. It’s now 2014, and the administration’s Twitter Diplomacy has exploded in its face. State Department spokesperson Jen Psaki was the one who lit the fuse with the instantly-mocked tweet: “The world stands #UnitedforUkraine. Let’s hope that the #Kremlin & @mfa_russia will live by the promise of the hashtag.

While Russia fights for its cultural identity, the White House is fighting for “the promise of the hashtag.” One simply needs to flip through a history book to see how Reagan, Thatcher and Pope John Paul II dismantled the Soviet Union in order to realize that President Obama should have stuck to “organizing” Chicago (i.e., Chiraq).

Is it any wonder why the Kremlin won’t take calls from Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel?

The Washington Times reported:

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel has been unable to get Russian Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu on the phone amid escalating tension near the country’s shared border with Ukraine.

Mr. Shoigu announced Thursday that Russia planned to engage in a new series of military exercises near the Ukraine border. The military move, he said, is in response to ongoing NATO training exercises in Poland and the death of at least two pro-Russia insurgents in eastern Ukraine.

The White House is getting shellacked on the world stage, and Americans have no one to blame but themselves.


Chuck Hagel (Image: Associated Press)
“Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Why is no one picking up? Is this thing broken or does no one take me seriously? I’m Chuck Hagel, damn it.”

But back to the “promise of the hashtag.” Foreign Policy Magazine breaks it down for everyone to understand:

Late last month, Marie Harf, a deputy spokesperson at the State Department, took to the podium to announce a new social media campaign aimed at “mobilizing the international community in support of Ukraine.” The campaign, she explained, asks “the world to show their support for Ukraine on social media by using the hashtag … #UnitedForUkraine.” …

So far, speaking with “one voice” hasn’t done much to deter Russian aggression, even as part of a broader campaign to punish Moscow for its behavior. … U.S. officials and legislators have unanimously ruled out a military response to Russian aggression. So you’d be forgiven for considering the State Department’s social media campaign to be a somewhat Quixotic, ephemeral even, effort at building a response to Russia’s moves in Ukraine.

For anyone writing an early obituary of U.S. diplomatic efforts in Ukraine, here’s your headline: “The Promise of Hashtag.” The ease with which Russian diplomats have hijacked the banner under which sundry U.S. officials have been tweeting about Ukraine also speaks to the danger of using a slogan that essentially lacks content. What does it mean to be “united for Ukraine”? It certainly sounds good. Both words begin with a “u.” And who doesn’t like “unity”? But combing the two words with the preposition “for” doesn’t add a great deal of meaning.

Then there’s this: It’s no small irony that the Russian Foreign Ministry managed to express itself in more coherent English than the State Department’s chief spokesperson.

Here’s the key takeaway: “the danger of using a slogan that essentially lacks content.”

I’ve said before that the president was propelled to great heights by his talent for eloquently delivering soaring vagueness. The man who preached “hope and change” got people who get excited over “Obama cares” bumper stickers to vote for him twice, and guys like Vladimir Putin couldn’t be happier. The Russian Foreign Ministry speaks better English than the State Department because it knows exactly what it wants — and its willing to use force to get it.

Russia is not interested in being an “also ran.” It has a rich and proud history, and it will fight to regain what it believes to be its rightful place on the world stage. Meanwhile, we have a president who laments the fact that the United States isn’t just one random voice among many on the world’s stage. He bristles as phrases like “American exceptionalism” and chooses, whenever possible, to drag the skeletons out of our closet for all the world to see.

One could almost forgive the man if his foreign policy was even remotely coherent. Instead, Americans get “reset” buttons (misspelled as “overcharge”) and Ashton Kutcher diplomacy.

CNET reported in February, 2010:

Perhaps you, like me, were forcefully encouraged to see the new movie “Valentines Day” last weekend. In the course of diplomacy, perhaps you, too, said that it was a wonderful movie.

You will be fascinated, then, to discover that the movie’s star, Ashton Kutcher, has become a U.S. government diplomat.

According to the LA Times, Kutcher is being sent by the State Department to Russia as part of a tech delegation that aims to use its bits to foster diplomacy with that particularly bearish, bullish part of the world. …

It seems that no special time has been set aside to discuss hacking, censorship or blogger imprisonment.

How did that work out for us, Mr. President? How much bang for the diplomatic buck did we get for sending Ashton Kutcher over to Russia to dicker around with the Russians and talk about how widgets and gadgets and Twitter hashtags are really, really awesome?

President Reagan can be summed up: “Tear down this wall.” President Obama: “Respect our hashtags — please?”

Compare and contrast Ronald Reagan’s handling of Communists with the Obama administration’s “reset” (i.e., “overcharge) diplomacy.

Sorry, Ukraine: Putin knows Obama ‘consciously uncoupled’ himself from foreign affairs long ago


Say you’re Russian President Vladimir Putin. You rolled your tanks in to Crimea, snatched it up, and all that really happened were some angry press conferences by representatives of western nations. You took yourself a nice warm-water port, you’ve expanded your sphere of influence, and the only real pain you received came from some economic sanctions put together on the fly by President Obama and the gang. John Kerry got a little flustered. So what. You know that Mr. Obama pulled a Gwyneth Paltrow and “unconsciously uncoupled” himself from foreign affairs long ago.

The question then becomes not whether or not you will go for more inside Ukraine, but why on earth you wouldn’t. That’s why U.S. intelligence believes that an invasion is likely (not a hard assessment to make when there are suddenly 30,000 troops amassed along Ukraine’s border), and so does NATO.

NATO Source reported:

Russian forces have been concentrated for possible offensive action on the borders of Ukraine, in vast numbers and in a high state of readiness, according to U.S. Air Force Gen. Philip Breedlove, NATO’s Supreme Allied Commander Europe. In a series of military maneuvers on the Ukrainian border, Russian paratroopers (the VDV corps) and the air force have been preparing to spearhead a possible push deep into Ukraine. …

If Putin decides to send in his troops, he has a narrow window in which to act. …

Ukraine has scheduled a national presidential election for May 25 that may further legitimize the regime the Kremlin hates and wants to overthrow. The Kremlin may find it hard to resist the temptation to attack Ukraine and “liberate” the south and east while Russia is ready, the Ukrainian military weak, and the regime in Kiev unstable. Such a move could lead to more Western sanctions, but this risk maybe dwarfed by the vision of a major geostrategic victory seemingly at hand.

Geostrategic victory, indeed.

Imagine a scenario where Putin takes another chunk of Ukraine and then when things get particularly bloody he throws up his hands and says, “Okay, I’ll play nice if you do away with the sanctions.” Does anyone think the West would not capitulate? Does anyone think bureaucrats would not jump at the opportunity to stop the violence, pat themselves on the back for their efforts and declare a win for “diplomacy” — all while conveniently ignoring the massive shift in power orchestrated by Putin?

Take a look at Syria: The Obama administration told the world Bashar Hafez al-Assad had to go, yada, yada, yada, red lines, red lines, red lines, and then it essentially just morphed into, “Well, maybe if you just turn over your chemical weapons we can work something out.” Syria turned over its rotting old WMD and has been dragging its feet on the rest. Maybe it will turn them over…when it gets around to it. What’s the world going to do about it now? Answer: nothing.

This is what the world looks like when an American president divorces himself from foreign affairs. The problem is exacerbated because for years now Americans have fed from the trough of moral relativism — they’ve willingly slurped down the slop that says, “the values of your founding fathers are no better or worse than the mullahs in Iran or the former KGB agents in Russia or the shirtless Somali warlords with automatic rifles slung over their shoulders while sporting a pair of tuxedo shoes.”



Free nations around the world wanted to see what it would look like if America retreated into its shell and acted as if its destiny paralleled countries like Zaire or Bolivia — and the world got an answer. Will America reverse course or continue on the current trajectory? We know what direction Vladimir Putin is hoping for. What about you?


President Euphemism: Obama ‘concerned’ Russia’s ‘uncontested arrival’ to incite ‘man-caused disaster’

Ukraine Russia AP

President Barack Euphemism Obama now has ‘deep concern’ over Russia’s military power grab in Ukraine’s Crimea region. While his administration tried to go with the laughably Orwellian ‘uncontested arrival’ on Friday as the troops moved in, it has now turned into a “clear violation of Ukrainian sovereignty.”

President Obama called Russian ruler Vladimir Putin Saturday afternoon and expressed “deep concern” over Russia’s move in Ukraine.

The White House called Russia’s recent aggression a “clear violation of Ukrainian sovereignty and territorial integrity” and a breach of international law.

The White House said the U.S. is suspending preparations for the upcoming Group of Eight summit in June in Sochi, Russia, in response to Russia’s actions.

You can imagine Vladimir Putin right now in a thick Russian accent: “Hey, comrade Dmitry, Obama says we can expect his presence at the upcoming Sochi summit to go kaput over our ‘uncontested arrival.’ Bwahahahaha!”

Uncontested Arrival Obama Ukraine

Perhaps no one called out the White House’s predilection to torture words and confuse Americans with Newspeak better than Iowahawk:

Iowahawk Uncontested Arrival

Bombing Libya became “kinetic military action.” Terrorist attacks by radical Islamic psychopaths became “man-caused disasters.” A Russian invasion is now an “uncontested arrival.”

Yes, it was “uncontested” because Ukraine — especially in its current state of chaos — didn’t have the means to fight back.

The New York Times reported:

KIEV, Ukraine — The new government of Ukraine called an emergency session of its national security council on Saturday in the face of the Russian military’s seizure of Crimea, but the leaders are facing a grim reality: Their armed forces are ill equipped to try to reconquer the region militarily. …

But the Ukrainian military has only a token force in the autonomous region — a lightly armed brigade of about 3,500 people, equipped with artillery and light weapons but none of the country’s advanced battle tanks, said Igor Sutyagin, a Russian military expert at the Royal United Services Institute in London. The forces also have only one air squadron of SU-27 fighters deployed at the air base near Belbek.

A senior NATO official said that Ukraine’s small naval fleet, which was originally part of the Black Sea Fleet, had been boxed in by Russian warships.

If China gives Japan the middle finger and its military moves in on the contested Senkakus or even the southern Ryukyu islands in the East China Sea, would Mr. Obama still call it an “uncontested arrival”? Since that euphemism hasn’t gone over well, he’d probably come up with something new. Regardless, Capt. James Fannell, the chief of intelligence of the U.S. Pacific Fleet, believes that China is training for a “short, sharp war” with Japan over the islands. If you were China, wouldn’t you look at what Putin has gotten away with and move in tomorrow? I would.

Perhaps the funniest thing about all of this is that the people who mocked Sarah Palin as a complete idiot now must wipe the egg off their face; she called a Ukraine invasion in 2008, saying that Obama’s strange detachment from foreign affairs would embolden men like Putin.

“After the Russian army invaded the nation of Georgia, Senator Obama’s reaction was one of indecision and moral equivalence – the kind of response that would only encourage Russia’s Putin to invade Ukraine next,” (Sarah Palin, October 21, 2008).

The same media culture that loves to sneer at anything that comes out of the former Alaska governor’s mouth is the same one that breeds “expert” analysis of the Christiane Amanpour variety — the CNN correspondent couldn’t even conceive of the Russians invading Ukraine as the armored personnel carriers and attack helicopters were fueling up Thursday night. It’s also the same culture that covers for men like Joe Biden, who former Defense Secretary Bob Gates believes “has been wrong on nearly every major foreign policy and national security issue over the past four decades.”

Get ready for a wild ride the next couple of years. The world’s worst actors know that President Obama is in too deep, and they will continue to take advantage of the situation.

Related: Russia calls Obama after sending troops into Ukraine: Mitt Romney is smarter than you

Related: Ukraine: Leaders lived like kings off the confiscated wealth of the people — as always

“I’m usually not one to Told-Ya-So, but I did, despite my accurate prediction being derided as ‘an extremely far-fetched scenario’ by the ‘high-brow’ Foreign Policy magazine.” — Sarah Palin

Here’s Palin in 2008:

Russia calls Obama after sending troops into Ukraine: Mitt Romney is smarter than you

Ukraine Russia armor

The Russians just called President Obama and left a message: “Your foreign policy is a disaster and Mitt Romney is smarter than you.”

Okay, they didn’t do that, but you couldn’t blame them if they did, considering that they’re rolling roughshod over Ukraine and all the White House can do is blubber about not crossing “lines” that have already been crossed.

“We are watching to see … whether or not Russia is doing anything that might be crossing the line in any way,” White House press secretary Jay Carney told reporters Friday. “We made clear that the U.S. supports the territorial integrity of Ukraine and the sovereignty of Ukraine. We have made clear to Russia that we believe it would be a grave mistake to intervene in any way.

Indeed, the White House is “watching.” That is why Vladimir Putin is laughing.

For those with a short memory, it was only a couple of years ago when President Obama mocked Mitt Romney during a presidential debate regarding his growing concern over the threat Russia posed to U.S. interests around the globe.

“Gov. Romney, I’m glad you recognize al-Qaida is a threat, because a few months ago when you were asked what is the biggest geopolitical group facing America, you said Russia, not al-Qaida,” Obama said. “You said Russia. And the 1980s are now calling to ask for their foreign policy back. Because the Cold War has been over for 20 years.”

What president Obama doesn’t get is that just because he says something is over, it doesn’t mean it’s over. Whether it’s in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria or anywhere else, the world’s worst actors are always seeking to gain and exert influence.

While the president makes silly “Let’s Move” videos in the Oval Office with Vice President Joe Biden, guys like Vladimir Putin are plotting and planning ways to regain a place of prominence on the world’s stage.

Lets.Move.Obama.Biden water
What’s my strategy for keeping Russia in check? I don’t know. Don’t you see I have a “Let’s Move” video to shoot? Come on, people. Priorities…

The president’s clueless nature as it pertains to foreign affairs is exacerbated by media-types who a.) laugh along with jokes like “the 80s called and want its foreign policy back,” and b) are just as lost as the president.

Take CNN’s Chief International Correspondent, Christiane Amanpour, who told Wolf Blitzer there was no way the Russians would move in on the Ukraine…just before they did just that.

Mediate reported:

Some are concerned we might be on the eve of another Cold War,” Blitzer fretted. “What, if anything, would stop Vladimir Putin from getting involved?”

“There doesn’t seem to be any notion that he is actually going to do so,” Amanpour insisted.

“The U.S. right now says it only sees Russia’s military exercises ‘within the normal range,’” she continued. “It does not see any of the kind of massive planning that Russia would have to do in terms of planning, and logistics, and securing air, and land, and rail, and road corridors to incur into Ukraine.”

She noted that a 1990s-era treaty signed by both Russia and Western nations guarantees Ukraine’s territorial integrity.

Less than 24 hours later armored personnel carriers, thousands of troops and Hind attack helicopters rolled in.

Russian armored personnel carriers are on their way to Crimea, and Ukrainian officials are calling it a “military invasion and occupation.”

A convoy of nine Russian armored personnel carriers and a truck on a road between the port city of Sevastopol and the regional capital, Sinferopol, the Associated Press reported.

“I can only describe this as a military invasion and occupation,” Ukraine’s newly named interior minister, Arsen Avakov, wrote in an online statement.

Meanwhile, Russians armed with rifles and wearing military uniforms stormed into Crimea’s main airport and took up positions on Friday. Agence France-Presse confirmed that 2,000 armed Russian were airlifted into the area.

Russia has flexed it’s muscles in Syria. Russia has flexed its muscled in Iran. Russia has flexed its muscles in the Ukraine. It is sending spy ships to Havana, Cuba. Meanwhile, the president of the United States is jogging in circles around the Oval Office with Joe Biden.

The next time the president tries to ridicule his political opponents, take a moment to remember what a joke Vladimir Putin is making of America’s commander-in-chief.

Related: Ukraine: Leaders lived like kings off the confiscated wealth of the people — as always

Related: President Euphemism: Obama ‘concerned’ Russia’s ‘uncontested arrival’ to incite ‘man-caused disaster’

U.S. sucks up to Russia while its Olympic commentators use gay slurs to bash American athletes

Russia NBC

Americans who watched the Olympics Friday night saw NBC’s opening segment, which was narrated by Game of Thrones actor Peter Dinklage. What struck me most about the video was the fact that Americans will whitewash (or was that redwash?) Communism’s history for free, in ways the old Soviet Union mandated for its own media.

In a delivery that said, “Don’t you wish you grew up under the Soviet Union?” Dinklage intoned:

Russia overwhelms. Russia mystifies. Russia transcends. Through every stage of its story, it’s resisted any notion of limitation. Through every re-invention, only redoubling its desire to cast a towering presence. The empire that ascended to affirm a colossal footprint. The revolution that birthed one of modern history’s pivotal experiments. But if politics has long shaped our sense of who they are, its passion that endures as a more reliable record to their collective heart.”

The last time I heard a delivery like that I was in the U.S. Capitol Visitor Center, listening to Out of Many One,’ the film that plays before visitors go on a tour of the building. It makes sense to have a feel-good warm-and-fuzzy video about America in the nation’s capital, but it’s quite another thing for American media to romanticize Russia and its Communist past — particularly when Russian commentators describe American athletes using gay slurs.


CNBC reports:

Dina Gusovsky: I was actually born in Russia when it was still the Soviet Union. I moved here in 1991 and then I was an anchor and reporter for Russia Today, which became RT America. So I know I thing or two about Russia.

Ted Kemp: So, they’re saying some negative things. Give us some examples. What type of things are you hearing a lot of as you’re listening to these broadcasts.

Dina Gusovsky: Well, anytime they talk about the Americans they use their favorite derogatory term, which is ‘bindorse.’  I can’t quite translate into English because we would get in a lot of trouble. The first part of it is a derogatory term about people’s sexuality. The second part of it is a version of “stupid Americans.”  They combined the two. They got creative — they combined the two and came up with ‘bindorse.’

The funny thing about multiculturalism is that its a one-way street. If you’re an American who believes “all cultures are equal” you only need to do a bit of traveling (or speak another language) to understand that the rest of the world does not extend the favor in our direction. While the Russian commentators are referring to American gymnasts as “crooked-legged girls” that walk like bears in their native tongue, American media outlets are creating schmaltzy montages dedicated to portraying an idealized Russia.

If you want to know how dangerous multiculturalism is to the long-term health of a nation, I suggest watching the explanation Mark Steyn gave on the issue to a group at Pepperdine University in 2007. I probably link to the commentary every six months…but that’s because it’s that good. Expect a full transcription sometime soon.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to peruse the work of Russian artist Andrew Tarusov. You can read more about him at The People’s Cube.

Russian pinupThe guy has talent.

Russian pinup August

Ashton Kutcher Russian Diplomacy Crumbles. Abs Hold Strong.

Newsweek is worried about Russia’s increasing urge to go retro and convert itself into Thugish Police State Spectacular. I guess I should be happy that they’re even acknowledging the truth, but I can’t show too much hope in them with follow ups like this:

Videos of police beating demonstrators, pulling their hair, and punching women in the face have caused an uproar on the Russian Web and the most strongly worded protest from the White House in years—all roundly ignored by the Kremlin. Instead, it is systematically (and with the full support of Medvedev, apparently) rebuilding the foundations of a police state.

Did you want to see the “most strongly worded protest from the White House in years”? BEHOLD, a taste of rhetorical lightening hurtled across the digital oceans at the Russian leadership:

When the United Nations or The United States says it's "concerned" you better look out. Nothing says, "I mean business" like I'm "concerned."

If Newsweek considers “The United States is concerned” the equivalent of lexical blunt-force trauma, and then wonders why the world considers the current administration a tepid mess they can push around, they have even more problems than I thought.

However, what really shocks me is that Ashton Kutcher’s diplomatic efforts have failed so miserably! Not too long ago he was swilling vodka and closing the digital freedom divide with the Russians in between vacations in which Twit Pics of his wife’s bikini clad butt were a priority. How did this all happen? Well, considering that Ashton Kutcher is the type of guy who doesn’t understand that drilling for oil is necessary when oil represents 40 percent of energy consumption, the puzzle shouldn’t be too hard to piece together.  Having an administration that assembles delegations of Hollywood beta males with a penchant for cute hats is also rather telling.

If I portray a spy in my movies and wear cute little hats that frame my face really well, I'll have the confidence to lecture you on foreign and domestic policy.

Dear Ashton,

Congratulations on your movie, Killers.  It almost eked out 50 million domestically, which means you get to prance around possibly “punking” people for years to come, mug for us in camera commercials, and have people ask you all sorts of public policy questions—as if you’re an expert in any number of given fields unrelated to showing off your abs. I look forward to your observations over the new START treaty. And if you decide foreign policy isn’t your thing, it appears as though you’ll have a chance to talk immigration real soon.




Ashton Kutcher, Diplomat with Baboon Call Mad Skills.

How is a blogger supposed to go to bed when news breaks that Ashton Kutcher is putting on his wacky diplomat hat and hanging with vodka swilling KGB geriatrics?

Apparently the guy who tweets about his bowel movements is going to educate the Russians on how new technology can bring us closer together. I suppose this is an extension of the Obama administration’s Reset Button Diplomacy, whereas the guys who killed Alexander Litvinenko with radioactive isotopes are supposed to be wowed by the creator of Punk’d. The truth: When Russians “Punk” you, then you wind up dead in your apartment with bullet holes in your chest. Just ask Anna Politkovskaya. Oh, wait…she’s dead.

What is it with Hollywood? They pledge allegiance to Barack Obama and suddenly they think they can go toe to toe with a guy who’s killing tigers when he gets tired of having humans whacked for asking too many questions? Good Lord.

Please Ashton, just stick to crossing your legs on Ellen’s couch while making baboon calls for women my mom’s age.

Update: Butterfly Effect Actor: Chaos Theory Meets Ashtonian Idiocy.