Rand Paul to Congress: Instead of yelling at Apple, you hypocritical losers should put yourself on trial

Who has done more for the world: The men and women at Apple, or Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-NY? Who would you trust with your money: the CEO of Apple or Chuck Schumer? That's what I thought. And that's why Rand Paul wins kudos for publicly sticking it to a bunch of hypocritical politicians.
Who has done more to raise the standard of living for the world’s population: The men and women at Apple, or Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich.? Who would you trust with your money: the CEO of Apple or Carl Levin? That’s what I thought. And that’s why Rand Paul wins kudos for publicly sticking it to a bunch of hypocritical politicians.

Ron Paul may be a crazy enough to think that China and Russia would swear off espionage if only the CIA closed up shop, but at least he was sane enough to raise his son Rand with a proper understanding of free market economics.

During Tuesday’s Senate subcommittee hearing on Apple’s offshore tax practices, he lit into Congress and demonstrated that he might have been the only politician in the room with his head on straight.

Behold, the awesomeness that was Rand Paul, Tuesday, May 21, 2013:

“Frankly, I’m offended by the tone and tenor of this hearing. I’m offended by a $4 trillion government bullying, berating and badgering one of America’s greatest success stories,” Mr. Paul said.

“Tell me one of these politicians up here who doesn’t minimize their taxes. Tell me a chief financial officer that you would hire if he didn’t try to minimize your taxes legally. Tell me what Apple has done that is illegal.

“I’m offended by a government that uses the IRS to bully tea parties, but I’m offended by a government that convenes a hearing to bully one of America’s greatest success stories. I’m offended by the spectacle of dragging in executives from an American company that is not doing anything illegal,” Mr. Paul continued.

“If anyone should be on trial, it should be Congress. I frankly think the committee should apologize to Apple,” the senator said. “I think the Congress should be on trial here for creating a bizarre and Byzantine tax code that runs into the tens of thousands of pages, for creating a tax code that simply doesn’t compete with the rest of the world.

“This committee will admit that Apple hasn’t broken any laws, yet we are forced to sit, Apple is forced to sit, though a show trial. … I say, instead of Apple executives, we should have brought in a giant mirror. OK? So we can look at the reflection of Congress because this problem is solely and completely created by the awful tax code.”

Steve Jobs may have been a hard ass (to put it nicely), but here’s what I wrote about him when he passed away in 2011 (has it really been that long?):

For the sake of argument lets say that Steve Jobs was a greedy guy. Let’s agree with the liberal premise that the majority of businessmen are in it for some weird Machiavellian desire to exploit “the masses.” Even if that was the case, at least guys like Steve Jobs have raised the standard of living for hundreds of millions (perhaps billions?) of people! As ReasonTV notes, “Sultans and students now have iPhone 4′s.” …

Steve Jobs never set out to end poverty, but through his inventions the definition of poverty changed. The federal government set out to END poverty, and has spent trillions of taxpayer dollars to do so. How’s that working out? Instead of throwing trillions of dollars at an impossible task, the world would be much better if we left that money in the hands of men and women with a knack for inventing products we didn’t know we wanted.

Instead of seriously addressing the problems that face the nation, politicians host show trials, where they drag in businessmen and berate them for being successful. Apple invented quality products that changed the world, and instead of saying “thank you,” a bunch of self-righteous losers, whose only goal in life is to sit in the halls of Congress for as long as possible, read its CEO the riot act. It’s despicable, but at least there are men like Sen. Rand Paul who are willing to put it all in perspective.

Allahpundit over at Hotair wraps the story up and puts a bow on it:

Apple saved $44 billion since 2009 from tricks like this, which, averaged over four years, means the lost tax revenue last year could have paid for a single day of federal spending. But again — all perfectly legal. Even if you think it shouldn’t be, you run into Paul’s [second point], namely, why not just have a Senate debate on tax reform rather than try to shame Apple with hearings for doing what literally anyone else in their position would have done (potentially at the risk of being ousted by shareholders if they didn’t)? (emphasis added)

If Congress doesn’t like what Apple is doing, they can change the law. Fine. Do that. And then watch what happens when it takes its bat and ball and goes to Ireland or China for good. But what you don’t do is essentially drag in an American success story and demonize its leadership for legally trying to keep as much of its money as possible.

Rand Paul Splatters Letterman’s Ego Across Space-Time Continuum.

Senator Rand Paul splattered Dave’s ego acoss the space-time continuum and it wasn’t pretty for the washed up late night liberal comic.

The other night Rand Paul was on Dave Letterman. I ceased to be a fan of Dave long ago, when he stopped being a cutting edge late night comedian and started allowing liberalism to turn him into a bitter crank. Why people still watch him going through the motions like a listless factory floor worker ready to die from repetition I’ll never know. Regardless, John Nolte still tunes in, as do millions of others every week, so it’s worth writing on when someone like Sen. Paul exposes Dave for the sad hack he’s become.

After Letterman conveniently framed the debate around the false notion that “government” merely operates within the realms of policemen, fire fighters, and teachers, Sen. Paul got to the heart of the matter:

“You want to always keep the public sector at a minimum because [it’s] inefficient. It’s not that government is inherently stupid — although that’s a debatable point — they don’t get the same signals. You and I get a signal–you have to pay your employees, you have to make a profit, you have to make earnings for the people who want to advertise with you. You’re forced to do something to give a product; the public sector doesn’t do that,” (Sen. Rand Paul).

The above argument, by Dave’s own admission, confused him, so the conversation was redirected to easy applause lines to the effect of: teachers making $80,000 per year should receive “twice that” and that rich people should be taxed more. Rand, not phased, was ready with facts and figures to make Dave’s head spin once again:

“If you look at the income tax, the top 1% pay about a third of the income tax. The top 50% –those who make 70,000 and above–pay 96% of the income tax. So the middle class and above are paying all of the income tax. We are paying our fair share. Even you are probably paying your fair share.”

Dave’s response?

“I think there’s something wrong with those numbers. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with them. [Dave to his audience, which begins clapping] Thank you! You’re applauding my stupidity. God bless you.”

Like trained seals the liberal members of audience took to clapping for their master, which was odd considering that the only indicator he was giving them was that he was out of his league and should be left alone (presumably to the strange adultery lair above the CBS Studios once occupied by The Late Show interns). That didn’t happen, and since a kind soul never cut to a commercial Dave was left to continue the sparring match with Sen. Paul over education. Paul pointed out that Washington, DC spends roughly $20,000 per pupil, its education system is still abysmal, and that more money isn’t the answer. Dave’s response?

Dave: “If we’re going to throw money at something, what about education? You know, for God’s sakes, let’s just see if it improves somehow.”

Like any good liberal, the answer is always the money hose—the one that’s connected to the side of your house. And your brother’s house. And your sister’s house. And your next door neighbor who is trying to get a small business off the ground. Dave never stops to think that an ideology that views money as the primary driver to successful public policy might create perverse incentives in those tasked with making that success happen. After billions upon billions for (fill in your favorite liberal public policy disaster with a bad track record decades long), guys like Dave continue to say that if only there were more money allocated to the problem…everything would be all right.

What makes Dave Letterman such an interesting case is that he’s so invested in his own ideology that even when faced with an argument he knows deep down is sound, he can’t recalibrate. When Dave says he’s stupid he may very well be telling the truth, because one way to identify an intelligent man is by presenting him with evidence contrary to his worldview and watching his adaptations. In light of Senator Paul’s adroit Government 101 presentation on The Late Show, all Dave could do was turn to the bald guy in the corner who’s paid to agree with him while dishing out snappy tunes. My guess is that Rand won’t be on for some time, if for no other reason than it will take Letterman’s ego (splattered across time and space) time to congeal and heal into a solid mass capable of dealing with the Freshman Senator.