Millenials: If President ‘I’m really good at killing people’ Obama spies on me, cool — but I fear conservatives

Last night in Virginia, a huge percentage of women actually believed that Ken Cuccinelli had the desire and the power to overturn Supreme Court rulings that are decades old. One of my best friends told me about his Facebook feed, where women breathed a sigh of relief because Terry McAuliffe wanted nothing to do with their vaginas.

A guy who supports President “I’m really good at killing people” Obama? Sweet. A guy who supports President Obama’s NSA spying — on innocent women — who “might” be a terrorist someday? Awesome. A guy who spent a lifetime working for Virginians — who happens to be more socially conservative? The Guardians of the Uterus will not stand for such an injustice!

And with that, I give you Kurt Schlichter, a a 48 year old veteran and lawyer who put himself through Loyola Law School after the Gulf War. Mr. Schlichter has made the decision to stop feeling guilty about people who vote for their own serfdom — particularly all the young voters who will pay higher insurance rates so his can be lower.

You didn’t listen to us. Maybe you’ll listen to pain. …

Embracing liberalism was a stupid thing to do […] and I will now let you subsidize my affluent lifestyle without a shred of guilt.

Somehow, you came to embrace the bizarre notion that conservatives are psychotic Jesus freaks who want to Footloosisze America into a land of mandatory Sunday school and no dancing.

But liberals, in contrast, are nice. Obama is cool. You chose petty fascism with a smile. Not a lot of thought went into it. Facts, evidence — these were mere distractions from the feelings-based validation that came from rejecting us wicked conservatives.

What did you get? The chance to be forced to buy health insurance you don’t want at inflated rates so my rates can be lower. You get to pay more out of your monthly barista take — liberalism ensured that the tanked job market foreclosed a real career — so that I get to pay less out of my lawyer checks. Thanks, suckers.

You fume that conservatives want to spy on you in your bedrooms. Leaving aside the fact that that your tacky boudoir fumblings are the last thing conservatives care about, have you noticed how your precious Big Brother spies on your doings everywhere else? But who cares about that – Mumford & Sons totally digs Obama!

Boom. It’s an intellectual pile driver for a generation of kids who are guided almost exclusively by emotion. They have more information at their finger tips than at any time in the history of man, but they lack the critical thinking skills to apply it to their daily life. Worse, they’re more interested in what the Biebs was doing with Brazilian hookers than how Obama is screwing their future.

Kurt Schlichter notes that he is a businessman. He hires people. He signs the front of checks. It pains him to see young lawyers with six-figures of debt working as baristas before he hires them, but it’s hard to have much sympathy for smart kids who fail to learn basic economics in college. “As an employer, are the salaries I pay generally more or less when I have 297 people competing for each job?” he asks. The kids are voting for people who destroy healthy economies, and at some point America’s self-made men — who empathize with those just starting out — will throw their hands up in the air and walk away.

The old saying is true: Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for the rest of his life.

These days, the kids are content to stare blankly into space with their mouths open like guppies.

So feel free to keep voting for the liberals who keep you in chains. I’ll take my cheaper insurance, my future Social Security checks, and the other benefits that come from being established without guilt. The guys who you squander your votes upon certainly won’t change that equation. You’ll tread water in life, but hey, at least those conservatives won’t be in charge!

Thanks again, suckers. Now get off my lawn.