DiCaprio: I Don’t Want to Control You. I Want the Bureaucrats to Control You.

Leonardo DiCaprio is great at playing characters who are psychologically confused, as was the case with Shutter Island. It's fitting, because he sounds completely lost when he defines the green movement's relationship with the average American.

Leo has a brand new ride. A $100,000 ride. Sure, he could have saved himself over $99,000 and bought a bicycle (the only carbon emissions come from your pesky, polluting lungs!), but that’s all right. He’s Hollywood. He needs to be cool. And how much cooler can you be than by owning a 2012 Fisker Karma? Yes, Al Gore is on the waiting list, which instantly makes it a little less desirable, but for a few short months Leo will be in an exclusive club. He can probably even ride it to any of James Cameron’s North American mansions without ever running out of gas.

Regardless, if it wasn’t for the gross inequalities liberals like Leo claim to abhor—before demanding millions for their next big film—who would be able to shoulder the R&D costs that will eventually bring the Fisker Karma down to price range normal folks can afford? Sadly, a Leonardo DiCaprio stunt double is not given a Leonardo DiCaprio stunt bank account.

Some might look at Leonardo DiCaprio’s new car and wonder why he would buy a vehicle with a “diamond dust” paint job. Who mined those diamonds? Which African country was exploited by which Chinese company outsourced by an evil American corporation to bring that diamond-dust paint to the market? Why mine diamonds in the first place, when they’re perfectly happy resting between the breasts of Mother Earth where they belong?

Asked whether or not he should be the poster boy for environmentalism, the actor recently responded to The Mail’s Live magazine:

“This is not about me…And it’s not about one group of people telling any other group of people how to live. I don’t think it’s fair to tell people to install solar panels, buy (low-watt) light bulbs or drive a hybrid – that’s not a reality for most people.’

‘It is about something much, much bigger. It’s about getting the governments of the world to implement environmental policy.”

Did you catch that? In between the first and last sentences were a few platitudes about caring about the rights of consumers, so it may have been easy to miss. Here it is again:

“It’s not about one group of people telling any other group of people how to live…It’s about getting the governments of the world to implement environmental policy.”

It’s not about telling you what to do; it’s about telling you what to do. Still confused? Leo doesn’t want to tell you what to do—he wants nameless, faceless, unaccountable bureaucrats at the EPA to tell you what to do. That way, you still think he’s a really cool guy, see his movies, fill his pockets with cash that will allow him to buy expensive toys, and he still gets to feel good about himself at Hollywood fundraisers for Barack Obama’s reelection campaign.

Shutter Island and Inception were both great movies that starred Leonardo DiCaprio. Both involved mind games. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell Leo that the American people like watching mind games on the big screen, but they don’t like experiencing them in real life. Hopefully the king of the world will take his $100,000 luxury car that can get 100 miles to the gallon and drive far, far away until J. Edgar Hoover comes out.