Janeane Garofalo: Conservatism a Mental Disorder. Emperor Palpatine Laughs as Anger Eats Her Soul.

Janeane let hate and anger consumer her. It killed her career and left a sad, bitter, empty shell of a woman in its wake. But it's kinda cool that Emperor Palpatine's disembodied head follows her around to watch. I'd be cool with that, even if it was Lego Emperor Palpatine...

Where do I go with Janeane Garafalo that I haven’t already gone before? The last time we left her she was accusing conservative minorities of having Stockholm Syndrome. Today: all conservatives apparently have a neurological disorder!

Behold: The best example of projection you’ll hear for quite some time.

“The British Empire is the original douche bag empire. That’s where shitty Australians and sh***y Americans come from… What does it mean to be a conservative or Republican anymore?  I’m not quite sure, but it clearly shows you gotta lot of frailty, you gotta lot of flaws.  That you’re ignorant as f**k about that, and you’re belligerent, and you have very little self-awareness…  To be a modern-day republican or conservative…it’s a character flaw.  It’s a character flaw. Or, it also could be neurological.  I’m not joking. Limbic brain. Seed of your emotion.  Something’s not working, whether it’s your private life or your literal neural anatomy something is not working.  It is, I think, a neurological issue.  It also is the party now, the big tent party, for racists, for sexists, for homophobes, for closet queens.  Whatever, again, is wrong with you because a tent full of hate has elastic walls,” (Janeane Garafalo).

As I mentioned, there are so many angles to take with this.  Do we talk about the pillars of Western Civilization?  The Indian process of suttee (i.e., the tradition of throwing widows onto funeral pyres), and other cultural practices that existed prior to the British Empire?  With washed up comedians like Janeane it’s a toss up between filling in big black holes of historical gaps between her brain droppings, or the sad state of affairs that results when someone allows cynicism to consume them.  In Janeane’s case that hate and anger and vitriol she carries inside became so corrosive that it ate away what was once a promising career and left behind a bitter, angry woman.

In the wake of the November elections I don’t think there’s too much that needs to be said.  The American people clearly connected with conservatives that successfully articulated why runaway federal deficits and unconstitutional healthcare mandates are existential threats to the future of the nation.  While Janeane probably thinks that means that the inmates are running the asylum, perhaps the truth is that she’s the one on her own version of Shutter Island (only instead of killing someone, she committed career suicide).

Am I, as a conservative, suffering from a neurological disorder?  Here’s a list of some thoughts running through my mind on a daily basis:

  • Work is a virtue.  I seek to use God given talents to the best of my ability—for my own edification and for the benefit of my family, my community, and my country.  I do not believe the government should penalize or demonize me for being a productive, successful, law-abiding member of society who worked hard and sacrificed much to attain personal and professional goals.
  • I believe that the principles set forth by the founding fathers have created the freest, greatest country the world has ever seen, and I seek to pass on their wisdom to future generations. I will unapologetically state and defend this during any discussion where the identity of the nation comes into play.
  • There are second and third generation communities stricken by poverty because public policy enacted by a bloated federal government robbed citizens of rights and responsibilities—and by extension their sense of self worth. I advocate policies that put individuals back in control of their own destiny, particularly those who would gladly accept a temporary pain for permanent empowerment.

If the above desires constitute a mental problem, then consider me guilty as charged.  If walking around with a positive attitude while sharpening resolve for the inevitable dark days we all experience from time-to-time is a sickness, then I don’t want Janeane Garofalo’s “cure.”

Oscar Wilde said to “always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.”  I’ll even do one better: I’ll forgive her for the insults and refuse to see her as an “enemy.”  She’s really just a jerk.

George Lucas Exposed as The Real Palpatine: Maureen Dowd Silent

Please buy my new Jar Jar Binks Toys. Meesa say, "It's amazing!" Oh, and don't pay any attention to Gary Kurtz. He's lying.

Do you remember when George Lucas told Maureen Dowd that Dick Cheney is Emperor Palpatine and George Bush is Darth Vadar?  I do:

Lucas explained politely as I listened contritely. Anakin Skywalker is a promising young man who is turned to the dark side by an older politician and becomes Darth Vader. “George Bush is Darth Vader,” he said. “Cheney is the emperor.”

Lucas was on his way to Europe and didn’t have time to elaborate in person. But he sent me this message confirming our conversation: “You know, Darth Vader is really a kid from the desert planet near Crawford, and the true evil of the universe is the emperor who pulls all the strings.”

The philosopher Eric Hoffer said “we never run fastest and farthest than when we run from ourselves.” And you, George Lucas, have been doing just that. Smug, insulated George Lucas and his inner circle of yes-men, licking his boots with Jabba like tongues, severely damaged the awesomeness of the Star Wars franchise, and the Jar-Jar Binksian black mark left behind is just one symptom of a great endeavor gone horribly wrong.  The reason why George Lucas is so quick on the draw to label other people an evil Sith Lord is because deep down he knows he has become the Sith Lord of the Star Wars universeGary Kurtz just reiterates what we’ve all known for quite some time:

…1980 was also the year that Kurtz and Lucas realized the Jedi universe wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

“I could see where things were headed,” Kurtz said. “The toy business began to drive the [Lucasfilm] empire. It’s a shame. They make three times as much on toys as they do on films. It’s natural to make decisions that protect the toy business, but that’s not the best thing for making quality films.”

He added: “The first film and ‘Empire’ were about story and character, but I could see that George’s priorities were changing…The emphasis on the toys, it’s like the cart driving the horse…If it wasn’t for that the films would be done for their own merits. The creative team wouldn’t be looking over their shoulder all the time.”

George Lucas, the liberal elitist who likes to hob-knob with Maureen Dowd at Obama inaugural parties before jet-setting off to Europe (hurrrrm), sacrifices the integrity of the characters for the cash cow that is little plastic Hasbro toys and Lego Phantom Menace set pieces? Interesting.  As a proud capitalist, I fully endorse George Lucas’ right to morph into a human version of Watto. If Star Wars fans want to shell out large chunks of change for the second-hand creative goods created since Return of the Jedi, God bless them and God bless George Lucas.

With that said, it should be strenuously stated that the same guy who talks about Dick Cheney “pulling the strings” during the Bush administration is the same guy who pulls the strings of hand-picked yes men in the empire he created (only instead of Slave Leia look-a-likes chained in a basement, he probably has overweight computer programmers doing his bidding in some dark, musty cubicles at Skywalker Ranch…)

Look at George Bush’s proposals for Social Security reform, or examine how much he’s responsible for “stimulus” spending (that didn’t stimulate much of anything). Now look at President Obama’s passed legislation on Health Care and his track record on “stimulus” spending. President Obama’s power grabs and deficits puts “W” to shame (in only two years!) and yet…silence from Lucas. Perhaps that’s because there’s a new game or toy line coming out? Who knows.

George Bush is at home at his ranch clearing brush while President Obama is engaging in the very kind of Secret Wars George Lucas fretted about not too long ago. Meanwhile, Lucas is still very much “pulling the strings” of his very own Merchandising Sarlacc Pit Monster, sucking up the disposable income of fans everywhere—the kind of fans who want another plastic incarnation of Jimmy Smits (i.e., Bail Organa) in a flying car, instead of character development, solid writing, and decent acting.

Nuff’ said.

Updates: Head on over to hotair to check out an alternate beginning to Return of the Jedi that, yes, I admit is pretty cool… and if this doesn’t convince you he’s turned to the Dark Side nothing will.

George Lucas criticizes others for destroying the integrity of things, and then he decides the world needs to see Jimmy Smits in a flying car...