Where do I go with Janeane Garafalo that I haven’t already gone before? The last time we left her she was accusing conservative minorities of having Stockholm Syndrome. Today: all conservatives apparently have a neurological disorder!
“The British Empire is the original douche bag empire. That’s where shitty Australians and sh***y Americans come from… What does it mean to be a conservative or Republican anymore? I’m not quite sure, but it clearly shows you gotta lot of frailty, you gotta lot of flaws. That you’re ignorant as f**k about that, and you’re belligerent, and you have very little self-awareness… To be a modern-day republican or conservative…it’s a character flaw. It’s a character flaw. Or, it also could be neurological. I’m not joking. Limbic brain. Seed of your emotion. Something’s not working, whether it’s your private life or your literal neural anatomy something is not working. It is, I think, a neurological issue. It also is the party now, the big tent party, for racists, for sexists, for homophobes, for closet queens. Whatever, again, is wrong with you because a tent full of hate has elastic walls,” (Janeane Garafalo).
As I mentioned, there are so many angles to take with this. Do we talk about the pillars of Western Civilization? The Indian process of suttee (i.e., the tradition of throwing widows onto funeral pyres), and other cultural practices that existed prior to the British Empire? With washed up comedians like Janeane it’s a toss up between filling in big black holes of historical gaps between her brain droppings, or the sad state of affairs that results when someone allows cynicism to consume them. In Janeane’s case that hate and anger and vitriol she carries inside became so corrosive that it ate away what was once a promising career and left behind a bitter, angry woman.
In the wake of the November elections I don’t think there’s too much that needs to be said. The American people clearly connected with conservatives that successfully articulated why runaway federal deficits and unconstitutional healthcare mandates are existential threats to the future of the nation. While Janeane probably thinks that means that the inmates are running the asylum, perhaps the truth is that she’s the one on her own version of Shutter Island… (only instead of killing someone, she committed career suicide).
Am I, as a conservative, suffering from a neurological disorder? Here’s a list of some thoughts running through my mind on a daily basis:
- Work is a virtue. I seek to use God given talents to the best of my ability—for my own edification and for the benefit of my family, my community, and my country. I do not believe the government should penalize or demonize me for being a productive, successful, law-abiding member of society who worked hard and sacrificed much to attain personal and professional goals.
- I believe that the principles set forth by the founding fathers have created the freest, greatest country the world has ever seen, and I seek to pass on their wisdom to future generations. I will unapologetically state and defend this during any discussion where the identity of the nation comes into play.
- There are second and third generation communities stricken by poverty because public policy enacted by a bloated federal government robbed citizens of rights and responsibilities—and by extension their sense of self worth. I advocate policies that put individuals back in control of their own destiny, particularly those who would gladly accept a temporary pain for permanent empowerment.
If the above desires constitute a mental problem, then consider me guilty as charged. If walking around with a positive attitude while sharpening resolve for the inevitable dark days we all experience from time-to-time is a sickness, then I don’t want Janeane Garofalo’s “cure.”
Oscar Wilde said to “always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.” I’ll even do one better: I’ll forgive her for the insults and refuse to see her as an “enemy.” She’s really just a jerk.