Weezer’s newest release, Death to False Metal, features a cover of Toni Braxton’s Unbreak My Heart. In a parallel universe an openly conservative Rivers Cuomo has given fans an album titled Death to False Conservatives, and the Braxton cover is aimed at the 112th Congress, a plea for the GOP to return to its fiscally responsible roots and to shun the unprincipled behavior that left its based deflated, betrayed, and lost. Luckily, yours truly has traveled through space and time and Barack Obama Wormholes to let everyone know that the message is just as relevant to our universe as theirs.
Republicans haven’t inspired anyone for a long, long time. They’re in power now, but they’re on serious probation with the American people. The elitist conservatives and the unprincipled Republicans who contributed to the financial cluster-fudge we’ve found ourselves in over the past decade should be identified and monitored closely. Those who have found themselves out of public office and contributing to the white noise of the talking-head world of Cable News should be called to the table as well. The GOP can not afford a return to its profligate ways, and those of us who write or speak or contribute to the conservative movement in any way can not afford to let them.
I won’t name names today because we all know who they are—the commentators whose knee-jerk reaction is to support whatever the GOP does, no matter how insane or detached from the ideals of our nation’s founding it is. When I see a conservative twist himself into an intellectual pretzel to defend the indefensible merely for political reasons, I cringe. The truth is always the right answer, no matter how difficult. The truth is what needs to be articulated, and if the vehicles we’ve chosen for the movement are too stupid or scared or incapable to do so for any reason, they have to go.
Note to Arianna Huffington, who takes any conservative metaphors or analogies dealing with death and destruction as a tell-tale sign violence is afoot: I’m talking about political and professional deaths. Now go back to your cocktail party and pick from the cheese plate for me.
For those clueless members of the 112th, here’s a great place to bone up on conservative principles that win over Americans and have a proven track record of creating prosperity. In a hurry? Here’s another option.
See you January 3rd. Just make sure you have your act together.