William Shatner: May His Carbon Emissions Never Cease.

 

If Stalin cut carbon emissions by hundreds of millions of cubic tons, does that make mother earth happy? And why do I have this weird self-loathing that grows in concert with my bank account?

I would have posted this on Earth Day, but I spent it thinking about some of the strange people that inhabit the planet, particularly those who are on the brink of insanity. Say, for instance, your average liberal from Berkeley:

So right now I am panicking. And in my panicked state, I become shrill and unrealistic. So I am calling for four actions–at least one of which, in particular, is robustly unappealing.

  • Beg the rulers of China and India to properly understand their long-term interests;
  • Nationalize the energy industry in the United States

I’m not going to bother with his third and fourth propositions, because the first two bullet points are already giving me a headache.

It used to be that liberals called on the United States to be a better member of the “world community” (i.e., they wanted us on equal footing with countries like Iran, North Korea, and any number of backwards nations run by weird warlords with a penchant for tuxedo shoes). That was bad enough… But now we find out it was all one big euphemism for grovelpolitik. Reagan had peace through strength. Your liberal economist from Berkeley has peace through lowliness. The plan seems to become an irrelevant outpost in a world filled with tyranny.

The second point is interesting, in that, if government control was strongly correlated with cleanliness the Soviet Union would have been a paragon of Green Living. Instead, it was simply Red. With blood.  I suppose you could count the weird shade of green gulag victims turned after our Commie counterparts were done with them… Sometimes, strange microbial things feed on your body when you die. And bizarrely, there probably is a strain of the environmental movement that quietly cheers Stalin’s handy work in “cutting down on carbon emissions” by millions of cubic tons. I’m assuming they would also redefine murder as “aged zygote termination” or “blastocyst from the pastocyst”  wish-fulfillment.

Regardless, the difference between conservatives and liberals when it comes to solving our environmental problems couldn’t be clearer. Liberals have strange self-loathing and subconsciously think we’d all be better off if there were a few billion people less in the world, and conservatives believe the answers to our problems can be found by mining the creative mind of man. We are the world’s greatest resource, whether liberals like it our not. Exhibit A: Alpha Zygote William Shattner.

Darn it, you conservatives: You're not humans. You're always just a zygote somewhere in the space-time continuum.