London Fashion Man Woman

Last Fall the editors of the Wall Street Journal Fall Fashion issue wanted you to know that androgynous was the new black. This winter, the designers at the London Fashion Week ask: Why can’t men be women?

The New York Times reports:

LONDON — Noble, strong, a proud label with a feminist stance — the powerful J.W. Anderson show on Tuesday ignited the London Collections: Men and rekindled the masculine-feminine debate in 21st-century fashion.

“It was a mix of awkwardness and fragility, the idea of broken aristocracy, as if people in a call center had a lightning bolt go through them,” Jonathan Anderson said backstage about a show in which the models balanced on platform soles and swung bucket handbags. …

The star of the trio was Craig Green, who had moved on from his conceptual body pieces to make some beautiful clothes, especially long coats sweeping over even longer skirts, both in complex combinations of color and pattern. The result was poetic and intriguing, with a shadow of the East and the ethnic. It was as if this intelligent designer was asking why, if other cultures can present males in skirts and robes, shouldn’t they be absorbed into Western culture?

Translation: Why can’t men just be more like Mike Meyers’ classic SNL character Dieter, from “Sprockets” (“Now is the time on ‘Sprockets’ when we dance!”)?

Alternate translation: Why can’t men walk around in giant outfits that are reminiscent of the time Lady Gaga showed up to the 2011 Grammy’s in a giant egg?

London Fashion Egg Man

The same people who want women to be androgynous and men to be women are also the same ones who want men to wear “mantyhose.”

As I said in March, 2011:

Speaking as a fan of David Bowie, Scott Weiland, and Michael Stipe—amazing entertainers with a history of gender-bending—I can’t help but hang my head in shame at the emasculated mess we’ve become. There is an interesting divide taking place: On the one hand there are men who seek to emulate Marcus Luttrell and Chris Kyle; on the other we have the Ted Danson fan club, complete with leg crossing and murmurs of angst when there’s a disagreement. On one hand you have men who can’t wait for The Expendables or The Dark Knight Rises to hit the theaters; on the other is the guy who probably asks his buddies to see The Lorax with him on opening night.

Lone Survivor,’ the big screen adaptation of former Navy SEAL Marcus Lutrell’s harrowing fight for his life in Afghanistan, will be released on January 10th. I’ll be there and review it before the weekend is out. If you want to know the answer to designer Craig Green’s question (i.e., Why can’t Western men wear skirts and robes?) I suggest paying for the price of admission during its theatrical release.


  1. You’ve touched on a subject that’s near and dear to my creative heart, bro.

    The Mantyhose Twinkletoes Brosiery Blues

    I got them mantyhose blues
    From my head down to my shoes
    Just saw it on the news
    Wearing those things I just refuse

    I used to go commando
    Didn’t worry about my libido
    But now the new credo
    Is making men look sweet-oh

    Spandex and tight binding
    Could lead to chafing and grinding
    Cut off blood supply — causing my boys to cry
    Leading to premature blinding

    With girls my full intent
    Had been to make an ascent
    Panty hose were an impediment
    And led to discontent

    And now the EuroTrash
    Want men to buy that gash
    Spent their hard-earned cash
    On pants that give you a rash

    It’s just too very gay
    Too much like ballet
    For this redneck cabaret
    It’s not on my buffet

    I got them
    Hung down
    Brung down
    Slung down
    Confined and realigned
    Disinclined and creepified
    Twinkletoes mantyhose brosiery blues

    1. Oh? What about that time the press caught Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble wearing slate tutu’s and dancing together in the Stonewall Inn ? 🙂

  2. Hell, I liked MM as Deiter. It was actually a smart mockumentary on German entertainment at that time. This sort of clothing on men is just going to end up on that people of Wal-Mart site eventually. Or German mockumentaries.

    1. Those were the good old days of SNL. They had some seriously good cast members back then.

      When I was in 7th grade my friend Jason and I would tease this girl in woodworking class by doing the “Sprockets” dance around her. She hated it…so of course we did it all the time.

    2. It was still funny back then. Nowadays… SNL is horrendous. Has been for years. And the “comedians” it’s produced in recent years haven’t been funny, either. Tina Fey isn’t funny. Amy Poehler isn’t funny. Andy Samberg isn’t funny, although his show Brooklyn 9-9 is watchable only because of the supporting cast members like Chelsea Perreti and Terry Crews.

    3. In my day, it was Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd’s “Wild and Crazy Guys” mating dance. Good times. 🙂 Lol on dancing around the girls, Douglas! Did you have the full black bodystocking on too?

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