Charles Blow thinks the Occupy Wall Street movement is "cool"---so much so that he likened them to a band that came to an abrupt end when its lead singer propped a shotgun under his chin and pulled the trigger. Nirvana, Charles? Not to most Americans, Charles.

Every day I’m thankful that Charles Blow is on the New York Times’ payroll. He’s the gift that keeps on giving. He hunts non-existent Tea Party racists with the fervor of a backwoods Bigfoot fanatic. He’s speaks on constitutional issues in ways that suggest he’s never looked at what the Constitution actually says about a government of limited and enumerated powers. He endears himself to independent women by likening Sarah Palin to horror film monster “The Blob.”

Today, he looks at the Occupy Wall Street Movement and sees Nirvana (the band and, seemingly, the transcendental state of awareness):

If the Occupy Wall Street protests were a band, I’d say the closest corollary would probably be the legendary ’90s grunge band Nirvana — both meaningful and murky, tapping into a national angst and hopelessness, providing a much-needed catharsis and gaining a broad and devoted following while quickly becoming the voice of a generation…

This has energized two groups who are notoriously apathetic and lacking in civic engagement — the young and the poor — and has done so outside the existing architectures of power and politics.

This excitement has attracted the attention of progressive politicians, pundits and celebrities, many of whom are making pilgrimages to the protests to lend support while reinforcing their own street cred and pondering how to best harness the energy on display.

Charles, Charles, Charles…the first thing you do when likening a movement to a band is to make sure their lead singer didn’t blow his brains out with a shotgun after pumping himself up on heroin. It can’t be a portent of success when the New York Times is making analogies to a guy who was ultimately found a decomposing mess in his bedroom days after his gruesome death. About the only thing Charles got right is the linkage to “grunge.”

Personally, I would have went with a Pearl Jam metaphor—they embodied the heart and soul of a generation, fought “the system,” and went on to become one of the most respected rock bands in the world. But who am I? I’m just a crazy, racist, conservative Tea Party type who’s completely out of touch with the pulse of the American people. (Right Charles?)

Charles goes on to talk about “progressive politicians, pundits, and celebrities” who are making a “pilgrimage” to “lend support” to the movement. Although he begrudgingly acknowledges it in the proceeding paragraph, Charles’ tummy is sloshing around with so much Kool Aid that he doesn’t realize the most accurate analysis would read:

“…progressive politicians, pundits, and celebrities, many of whom are making a Black Friday sprint to the protests to get in front of a camera while reinforcing their own street cred and pondering how to best exploit the energy on display.”

Blow continues:

“But there has been an even stronger reaction by some on the right, who, out of fear, are seeking to preemptively stain and marginalize the protesters.”

No, Charles. “The Right” hasn’t “stained” the protesters, the guy crapping on cops cars and the Occupy Front Porches with Our Poop squatters have “stained” the movement. The communists, anarchists, socialists, losers, and misfits have “stained” the movement. The college kids who admit they’re there for a student loan bailout have “stained” the movement. And New York Times columnists who insinuated the Tea Party was racist because they didn’t have a ready made bill to place in the House floor’s hopper—while completely ignoring the prominent anti-capitalist strain of Occupy Wall Street—have “stained” them.

The piece,Occupy-apalooza Strikes a Chord, ends with shocking statistics that show many citizens, “agree with many of the disparate ideas being put forward.” Okay. I agree with many of the generic ideas that Democratic Party puts forward (although, doesn’t everyone wish their was less “greed”?), but I disagree with almost all of their methods of implementation because they reduce individual freedoms and liberties.

Dear Charles,

I beat you to the punch on the Occupy Wall Street 90’s Anthem on Twitter: Beck’s Loser. Now I just need one for you. How about one from the Peal Jam vault, because you’re just Sad.

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