McDonald’s needs to beat Morgan Spurlockian Federal Government regulations with two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions in a sesame seed bun.

Look what the Morgan Spurlocks of the world have wrought. Or should I say, “look what the weak-kneed corporations have wrought?” A few years ago Morgan Spurlock figured out that if you shove grease down your gullet for 90 straight meals, then it might adversely affect your health and, faster than the Hamburgler can burgle a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, McDonald’s is turning its Happy Meals into Crappy Meals. It makes one wonder why liberals fear corporations and “profits” so much, since those very same corporations roll over and play dead at the slightest sign of a liberal lobbying firm’s successful efforts.

When I lived in Germany I used to order a Happy Meal and a beer…because I could; I might just fly back to do so in protest of the mandatory Apple Meal:

Critics wasted no time complaining that McDonald’s changes don’t go far enough. Kelle Louaillier, executive director of a group called Corporate Accountability International, said McDonald’s is just trying to get ahead of impending regulations that will restrict the marketing of junk food to children and require restaurants to post nutrition information on menus, among other changes…

When are corporations going to stand up and say, “No!” When will the fast food industry go Epic Meal Time on the Morgan Spurlock’s of the world?

America does not have an obesity epidemic. It has a lazy epidemic. It has a stupidity epidemic (courtesy of our failed education system). It has many legitimate problems, but fast-food restaurants are not one of them.

We have a politically correct culture that doesn’t stigmatize sloth. Self-esteem reigns supreme. Unfit? Unkempt? No one will say anything, because that might hurt your self esteem. Why put in the hours to look like Sylvester Stallone (at 65), when you can be a beautiful and unique (or was that beautiful and obese?) snowflake? The weight of our nation isn’t a reflection of how many restaurants we have, it’s a reflection of how much self-respect we’ve lost for ourselves.

Hundreds of years ago artists drew heavy-set women because it portrayed wealth and prosperity. Then the paradigm flipped when almost anyone (in the Western world) could gain weight; looking fit was a sign of discipline. Today, we’ve busted the paradigm completely, because when you live with a bunch of moral relativists it doesn’t matter if you’re 150 pounds of 350 pounds…

If McDonald’s changed its Happy Meals to Apple Meals by its own accord, fine. Conservatives would rightly have no qualms with that. But to make decisions based on fear of what the federal government might do, or to try and curry favor with a bunch of pin-headed central planners in Washington, DC is just sad.

Besides, why would anyone in their right mind go to McDonald’s anyway? There’s In and Out Burger in LA, Portillos in Chicago, and Ray’s Hell Burger in Washington, DC.

Dmitry Medvedev: “Did this guy really take me to a f***king burger joint?”

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