Obama Buzzfeed

The American people and political pundits of all stripes have been confused by President Obama’s Libya strategy for some time know. His “kinetic military action” formally know as war is mighty confusing.  Qaddafi  must go—but only if bombing his air defenses work. Actually, we’ll use drones—but only two of them. We’ll be out of there in days—except when it becomes months. We want the rebels to win, although we don’t know if they’re closer to the Rebel Alliance from Star Wars…or jihadi head choppers.

“What kind of a strategy is this?” the American people have asked. The answer is simple: The Drunken Orgy Doctrine.

Obama’s strategy is to “win”, in the purely Charlie Sheenian definition of winning with one’s  goddesses. Likewise, I assume (not having had personal experience) the goal of a drunken orgy is to get it on with a bunch of people (some friends, some not so much), deal with the messy and the confusing, and when it’s all said and done be able to say it was worth it. Obama is like Derek Zoolander—just replace “Finnish dwarfs” with “United Nations, and “Maori tribesman” with “Arab League”.:

“There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarfs and the Maori tribesman where I thought, ‘Wow! I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman.'”

Victor Davis Hanson has the epiphany on the tip of his tongue in his latest for National Review Online, but couldn’t quite come to admit it:

“Obama is a multilateral artist, and Libya is his greatest masterpiece. Nobel-minded Europeans take the high profile while suspect Americans do the heavy lifting in the shadows. American officers publicly talk more of toning down a war than winning it. Female advisers—Hillary Clinton, Samantha Power, and Susan Rice–clamor for a use of force of the sort that a wobbly metrosexual American president seeks to resist.”

Like the movie Eyes Wide Shut, those sexy Europeans strut their stuff in the hallways, sipping their wine and eating their cheese in the buff (creating the allusion they’re taking part), while the real action is taking place in the “shadows.” Unfortunately, President Obama is the guy who loved the idea of an orgy…until it happened. And then he got “wobbly” where it counts while Hillary Clinton stood firm. I assume Bill’s dealings with Milosevic, among other things, prepared her for the experience.

Many conservatives have been muted in their criticism. That’s because conservatives aren’t any stranger to wild times (i.e., Iraq and Afghanistan). However, unlike the current President, they’re usually willing to go the distance. If you come to a party—or start a party—where crazy stuff is going down, you better be willing to carry through. Liberals, for all their talk, tend to freeze when reality meets rhetoric. If you’re the guy who gets to the Eyes Wide Shut party who ends up trying to slink out the door when the atmosphere gets much, much, weirder than you expected—bad things will happen.

I’m assuming there is one good thing about orgies: no one probably asks about your birth certificate.

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About the Author Douglas Ernst

I'm a former Army guy who believes success comes through hard work, honesty, optimism, and perseverance. I believe seeing yourself as a victim creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe in God. I'm a USC Trojan with an MA in Political Science from American University.

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