Every time liberal Ashton Kutcher opens his mouth he inadvertently makes the case for conservatism. Thanks for making my job easy, Ashton. It's times like this I'm glad you're famous for being famous.

Has outspoken liberal Ashton Kutcher been secretly reading The Heritage Foundation’s research on the importance of missile defense and the fallout from an EMP attack? Has some of the self-reliance and rugged individualism of Sarah Palin crept into his brain? The guy who’s famous for being famous is suddenly not so sure the federal government can protect him in the lurch:

The movie star and producer…fears a major U.S. energy meltdown is nigh and he’s trying to get super fit so he can deal with the chaos that will follow a blackout or worse.

Kutcher discovered combat training Krav Maga last year… and he insists he’s committed to his extreme workouts, so he can dominate in desperate times.

The 32 year old tells Men’s Fitness magazine, “It will not take much for people to hit the panic button. The amount of convenience that people rely on based on electricity alone. You start taking out electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle.

“And people are going to go, ‘That land’s not yours, prove that it’s yours,’ and the only thing you have to prove it’s yours is on an electronic file…

And he admits he tasted what life could be like after a major national or international calamity when he, Moore and her kids were left without power for 14 hours at their mountain cabin last Christmas.

He adds, “I got my guns out. We made a fire. We went to the grocery store… People were rolling in and out, clearing out all the shelves… It was like a preview.”

Ashton Kutcher’s politics are almost as convoluted as an Ashton Kutcher movie. In one fell swoop Barack Obama’s Russian-diplomat extraordinaire makes the conservative case for self reliance, the need for a strong national defense, private property rights, and The Second Amendment!  Conservative spokesmen everywhere should send him a thank you note and some canned goods for the apocalypse (Just make sure the tuna has a Dolphin Safe label or he’ll starve to death).


1 comment

  1. Oh baby, you are ON FIRE with this one, way to start 2011 hombre! Hoisted Kutcher up by his own petard.
    “Just make sure the tuna has a Dolphin Safe label or he’ll starve to death” = hilarious!!

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