Allahpundit has thrown down the gauntlet. I’ve been a long time fan of his work, but we all know that from time time to he finds ways to test even his hard core fans’ patience (think Meghan McCain ). This time, war has been declared on Conservative Comic Nerds everywhere!
Needless to say, if they’re now this far down into the bottom of the comics barrel for superhero movie ideas [i.e., a Green Lantern movie], it won’t be long before pre-production on an Aquaman flick is announced. We all know it’s coming, so let’s start preparing mentally.
The comic book movie that started an amazing run that hasn’t stopped since 1998 was Blade. It showed the industry of the marketing potential that existed, even in lesser known comic superheroes (interestingly enough, it was Ryan Reynolds who stole the show from Wesley “I want to be Charlie Rangel and not pay my taxes” Snipes in Blade III, an underrated flick in my opinion). Green Lantern isn’t some two-bit superhero—he’s a classic. And even though there are two or three Jonah Hexs for every Iron Man, overall comic book movies help instill the kinds of moral codes today’s liberalism habitually tears down.
Watchmen was loaded with conservative values (even though it was written by a left-wing moon bat). Kick Ass makes the case for American Exceptionalism better than 98% of all conservative commentators out there. The list goes on and on. I’d rather hold my fire on Ryan Reynolds when he’s portraying a superhero because it’s only a matter a time before he plays another US contractor buried in Iraq. Think of all the mouthpieces of the left, and then imagine them inadvertently planting the seeds of conservatism in a generation of young minds because they played Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, Captain America, or some obscure hero whose principles shackle liberal screenwriters into crafting characters Americans can be proud of.
I know that there are going to be embarrassingly bad comics movies made every year, but it’s the one area of popular culture where conservatives have the upper hand. Our ideas sell, and Hollywood can’t deny it. Conservatism is articulated on screen every time a hero doesn’t hesitate to identify evil—and fights it. Liberal moral relativists will groan in pain if Captain America shines instead of becoming Saturday night entertainment for Euro-weenies and Jihadi Film Clubs. It makes no sense to make jokes at the expense of the one genre that imparts conservative values and resonates with young people.
I’m praying to God that they come out with The Umbrella Academy: Dallas. While Allah (and again, I love your work) might instinctually consider it the bottom of the barrel, I enthusiastically recommend it to anyone thinking about buying a graphic novel sometime soon. It’s written by Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance. Take a look at their latest video. Watch it and tell me there aren’t conservative motifs everywhere (e.g., evil centralized government, underground radio, American muscle cars, resistance movements). Do we have another closet conservative on our hands? Who knows, but I don’t want to disrupt whatever inspired it.
Likewise, I have my fingers crossed for the day when Zack Synder finally comes out of the conservative closet. I can’t wait to see what he does with Superman.
I’m going to chalk up Allah’s Green Lantern misstep to latent jealousy at Ryan Reynolds’ rock hard abs (I know I’m jealous). But if it happens again, all options are on the table; I’m going Nuclear Nerd on the pundit from hotair.