There are all sorts of conservatives, but today I’d like to coin a phrase:  The Andrew W.K. Conservative. Why?  Because, as I wrote before, there are elitist conservatives who distain us just as much as liberals—it’s just quieter because we vote the right way.

Who is this rube in a white t-shirt and an old pair of jeans? Oh…wait, he’s uber talented. Moral of the story: let elitists underestimate you, and then wipe the floor with them.

Take a look at Andrew W.K.  Listen to his music. It’s ready-made for any of the Jackass movies.  But Andrew isn’t a jackass. In fact, I think it’s safe to say he’s a pretty talented guy. And his lyrics actually mean something:

I never want to break your heart
Never want to make your cry
Never want to give up and die

And if you can’t stand up
Even if you lose your light
I’m a friend by your side
You’re never gonna be alone

Honor? Persistence? Loyalty? Something tells me Harry “surrender in Iraq” Reid (and don’t you ever forget it) doesn’t have Andrew in his iPod. And don’t get me started on every other aspect of life where liberals want to pull the plug when things look grim…

The point is this—look at Andrew. Listen to the guitars and tell me that doesn’t scream”working man’s” rock. It does. The best conservatives are the ones like Ted Nugent. They’re rugged, witty, down and dirty, but dangerously intelligent:

I believe that a person’s moral compass can be determined by how he references free men the right to defend themselves…  Let’s pretend there is no document…Let’s pretend this guy named Ted Nugent parachuted down to earth and woke up one morning and saw these wonderful resources and had dreams of excellence and being the best I could be…I don’t need a document, and I don’t need another man to explain to me that I have the right to defend my right to life.

And that there is an argument from Hillary Clinton, from Barbara Boxer, Diane Feinstein—from a whole gaggle of numb nuts who would try to tell me they will dictate where, how, and if I could defend myself—I find that preposterous. I find that unacceptable, and I will not accept it. I am a free man.  Don’t.  Tread.  On.  Me.  A good, law abiding citizen not convicted of a felon; the Second Amendment of our Bill of Rights is my concealed weapons permit.  Period.

…I don’t like repeat offenders.  I like dead offenders (Ted Nugent, klru broadcast).

At a glance, the elitists will think of a laundry list of backwoods insults as we walk into the room; it’s only when you take an intellectual Machete out and leave them a quivering pile of goo in the corner that they understand.

Party Hard, my conservative friends.  And when the East Egg Christopher Buckley crowd frowns down upon you…party harder.

Who would you trust with the safety and security of the nation: Uncle Ted or the pinhead in the suit? That’s what I thought. Who cares what U.S. elitists or Europe thinks of us. Just stick to the Constitution, rock…and forget about them.

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