Ashton Kutcher: Hard data? What's that? Pay attention to my bow tie and vapid partisan pot shots that will convince Keith Olbermann I'm a "serious" thinker.

When Ashton Kutcher isn’t practicing his diplomatic baboon calls in an attempt to make Russians adopt his man-boy worldview, he’s blaming Republicans for environmental disasters.

“If you can go back to the Republican National Drill…and look the guys in the eyes who were saying ‘Drill! Drill! Drill!’ at the Republican National Convention—those guys—there you go! That’s what you got!”

As I mentioned before, I think it’s interesting that the guys who claim to be all about science and technology want to simply stop everything and call it quits in the face of adversity (even though oil represents 40 percent of our energy consumption).

Ever wonder what percentage wind and solar make up after decades of subsidies? Try 3 percent, Ashton.

Actually, the truth of the matter isn’t that Aston doesn’t care about science. The truth is this: he has money to ride out the wait in style if a Rosie O’Donnel and Woody Allen Daydream Dictator is ever able to halt oil production tomorrow.  Even if it took decades.  Just like all liberal celebrities, once they make their millions they’re perfectly fine telling you to live in the dark, pick head lice off your friend, and return to the lush green-wooded yesteryear. No thanks, Ashton (intertribal rape and infanticide were never that appealing).

How much oil does Ashton use jetsetting around the globe? Or “Punking” people? I’m reasonably sure that there’s been days where the oil needed to make a memorable “Ashton Kutcher Vacation” was more than I’ll consume in an entire lifetime. Think about the pollution caused making and promoting Dude, Where’s My Car? What a jerk.

Hey Ashton, remember that movie you did that no one saw called The Butterfly Effect? Well, it’s sort of true. The only problem is, you’re proud pronouncements of public policy idiocy are touching young impressionable minds. I suggest retiring to one of your many mansions (that I’m sure have thermostats set just to your liking), and thinking about what a hypocrite you are. Put one of your private jets on autopilot when you’re on a press junket and fly it into the ocean—maybe that will plug the gusher.

PS: Is that Russian outreach paying dividends yet? Didn’t think so.

Update: I am SO kicking myself for having forgotten about this…

No one saw The Butterfly Effect, but Kutcher's winged ignorance can be felt from miles away.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: