I wrote some time ago about elitist conservatives when Christopher Buckley was trying to convince people he was somehow relevant
when—he’s not. However, I think the topic needs to be explored a bit more, because in the coming months things are going to get tough. And in tough times a number of groups are going to try to chart the path we follow to victory. The only problem is, if we can’t spot the elitist conservatives on air as they try and frame the national debate, we’re in trouble. Once the definition of victory is established, it’s tough to change it.
I won’t name names, but I’d like to throw out a few things for you to think about as you’re watching the Sunday morning talk shows:
- If the conservative talking head you’re watching is just as giddy as their liberal counterparts to engage in ego scream fests, there’s a good chance they’re an elitist.
- Go to Brooks Brothers and find the ugliest piece of clothing in the store. Lock the image in a safe deposit box in the back of your brain. The next time you see someone wearing a facsimile of it, listen to them very carefully. This trick does not work if you’re actually looking at something that is sharp.
- Invite your conservative friends over for a party. Throw in some classic GNR, specifically Welcome to the Jungle. If the look on their face doesn’t just say, “not my taste,” but “Cockles, I wish I was in East Egg right about now!“, your friend might be an elitist.
- If Welcome to the Jungle produces a questionable response, throw in some Andrew W.K and some classic Rob Zombie. If their face tells you they just threw up something madras in their mouth to match their shorts…be careful.
- If you think the world is a better place when Americans know their country Kicks Ass with its sheer awesomeness (Kind of like a famous French guy you might have heard of…), and want to keep it that way—but the pinhead on TV insinuates there’s something to be said for “multi-polar” worlds (i.e., a euphemism for a world where Iran and Russia have equal clout on the world stage)…don’t listen to them.
While I’m sort of joking with most of the post, the underlying point is dead serious. There are people on our own side who are just as condescending towards Middle America as John“I pronounce Genghis Khan ‘jen-gis kahn'” Kerry. Sure, they might not accuse the military of being hair-trigger war crimes waiting to happen…but they still look down on people like you and I, who came from suburban areas in midwestern states.
Ultimately, grassroots are going to have “grasstops.” And if that has to happen in order to successfully lobby members of Congress, we might as well pick people who are going to accurately represent us and the issues we care about. Just food for thought.
With that I have to go. It’s time to go twisting, turning, through the never…