There’s an article that came out a few years ago that I’ll never forget. You may remember it by its title: “As Violence Falls in Iraq, Cemetery Workers Feel The Pinch.” On the ticker tape printout of

Choose these "green" chicks over liberal "green" chicks and you'll be okay, Captain Kirk.

history the article won’t even garner a blip, but I think the mere fact that it was brought into existence says something about modern-day liberalism with the clarity of a solar flare.

The pesky thing about our liberal friends, who did everything in their power to bring about complete and utter failure in Iraq—including outright surrender—is that they’ll dissipate like invisible cosmic space dust only those who study politics for a living will be able to detect. And the sad thing is, most academics have the interesting distinction of falling into both camps.  This begs the question: What do you do when the chroniclers of history are also history’s perpetual failure-faces? If you’re a conservative, I guess you blog. And if you’re the Republican Governors Association, you create videos like this. And then you hope that some other kid on his maiden voyage into the intellectual ether of the Internet will come across your words like a young Captain Kirk. And if he’s lucky he’ll hook up with a green chick sometime before he dies (literally green—not the environmentally-green hippie chicks, because if their smell was a color it would usually be brown, but I digress)…

Back to the subject at hand. What editor looked at an improving situation in Iraq and thought, “This is a great opportunity to highlight the plight of the Iraqi gravedigger,”? Apparently, the big bad United States is always making enemies. If it’s accidentally killing civilians (i.e., people who were transmogrified into human shields when terrorists decided to use them as such), it’s the bad guy. If it’s protecting the civilian population to the extent that people are no longer taking dirt-naps, the Gravediggers Union is suddenly upset. Just as I learned from my liberal professors years ago: we’re always the bad guy (For those of you who haven’t had the opportunity to experience the American-guilt-ridden professor and the student-loan debt they give you like a nasty STD, please just pick a modern Hollywood war movie from your net-flicks cue and you’ll see what I’m talking about).

If there’s someone out there who has a little time on their hands, I suggest putting together a compilation of the doomsday scenarios proffered nightly in the wake of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The bizarro cheerleading for failure during the darkest days of the Iraq war was something that certainly didn’t Smell Like Teen Spirit; it smelled like the musty pheromones given off from a Chris Matthews leg-tingle, and I think the world would benefit from seeing all such stories put together in one place for easy access.

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